


The Story's Undone (to be Made Again)

by SummerLeighWind (orphan_account)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Absent Parents, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Best Friends, Betrayal, Brotherly Angst, Bullying, Character Death, Child Death, Crushes, F/M, Flashbacks, Friendship, Gen, Kid Fic, Lies, Male-Female Friendship, Non-Graphic Child Abuse, Ravenclaw!Severus, Secrets, Suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-02
Updated: 2015-06-17
Packaged: 2017-12-28 04:58:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 56
Words: 76,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/987950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/SummerLeighWind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"My da's gone," He tells her. Lily's perfect lips pucker in a confused pout. "Gone?" She repeats. Gesturing with his arms, Severus elaborates, "Took the car and just left."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'll Never be What you Want me to be

When he wakes up in the morning, beneath his fraying quilts, staring up at his water-stained ceiling and with his nose running terribly from the cold weather; Severus Snape does not expect his birthday to be any different from the bleak days before or the ones that would follow. Curling close, he tries to conserve warmth his body doesn't have and bursts from his bed skidding on the worn rug from his bed to the ancient wardrobe on the other side of the room. Quickly yanking open a crooked drawer, he pulls out a pair of threadbare socks and puts them on. Reluctantly, he wriggles his toes before stepping off his rug and to the shockingly cool floors. Hissing through the gap where a bottom lateral tooth should be, he slides the rug back to its spot with a practiced stroke of his leg.

Satisfied, he nods his head and turns back to his dresser. Opening a couple more drawers, he rummages around looking for a half-way decent sweater, (one without too many holes, too thin at the elbows, or too short at his wrists and waist) eventually, he comes across glaringly red one that has only a stretched collar and a couple of holes about halfway up the sleeves. Studying it, Severus doesn't recall ever seeing this sweater before; maybe a birthday gift? Mother's been known to leave him presents in such a way; lest father find them strewn about to find fault with. Letting the barest of smiles flash upon his pallid cheeks, Severus tears off his nightshirt (mother's old shirt) and quickly puts on the sweater; trying to save his body from a full-blown case of goose pimples. He then trots to his desk, pulling on his jeans from the other day and the cracked boots that fit a bit too snuggly on his feet.

Snatching mother's book from his desk, Severus tucks it under a loose floorboard and vacates his room.

* * *

Coming into the kitchen, Severus walks to the oven where mother is finishing with a pot of boiling eggs and stands on his toes to press a kiss to her ever-taunt face. "Thank you mother." He says to her, she sends him the slightest of smiles and shoos him off with a wriggling finger to set the table.

Severus obliges her and places the chipped plates at his, mother's, and father's spot then pours father his mug of tea and gets out the milk for mother and himself. Father lumbers in and mother hurries to put the plate of toast and bowl of eggs on the table as Severus slides into his seat. With squinted eyes, Tobias Snape takes a swig of his tea and demands, "Where's my paper?"

Mother turns, picking it up from the counter. "Right here Toby," she murmurs placing the newspaper in his grubby fingers.

Severus silently helps himself to the toast and tries not to scowl as father glares at mother. Chipping at her egg with non-existent nails, mother casually inquires, "What do you want for your birthday dinner, Severus?"

Father's eyes raise from his paper and Severus glances between his mother's almost hopeful eyes and father's warning glare. "I-I," he stammers, "Whatever you have planned is good, mum." He sighs.

"That's right, whatever slop she cooks is what you get," Tobias agrees going back to his page. Mother seems to dull and Severus bites his lip, wondering what he can possibly do to make it up to her when-an owl swoops into the drab kitchen through the window that never latches properly.

Father's up in an instant, hollering at the top of his lungs, "Bloody hell!" Severus, though, stays in his seat staring with astonishment at the creature. He  _knows_  why it's here, mother's told him a thousand times about her own letter-and now it's his turn. Reaching up with yearning fingers, a handsomely sealed letter floats into his grasp and with eagerness uncommon to him, Severus wretches the letter open skimming the contents with happy disbelief.

"'m a wizard!" He laughs and his eyes find mother's to see they shine brighter than he's ever seen them. Hugging the treasure to his chest, he asks in hushed tones, "Does this mean I'll get to have my own wand?"

The front door slams, knocking the mother and child from their euphoria; scrambling from their chairs, the pair rush to the front room window to see Tobias Snape driving away. They watch in silence as the man disappears around the corner. Shakily, mother whispers, "He'll come back, you know your da doesn't care for magic; he just needs time..."

All cheer abandoning him, Severus numbly bows his head; "Yeah, you're right," Severus lies.

* * *

A few days later, Severus twists his swing side to side on the playground as other children mill about waiting for the morning bell. Gravel scatters and he glances up to see the beacon of light he's always known as Lily. Smile wide and just for him, she inquires with youthful confidence, "How's it going Sev?"

Severus's eyes grow vacant as he recalls the past weekend, father hadn't returned that night, or the morning after for that matter. Severus did his best to console his crushed mother, (but, it was hard to feel sympathy when all he could remember of the man was his sharp knuckles bruising his pale skin and the smell of gin on his breath). Shaking his head, Severus drags himself back to the present and to Lily's inquisitive, verdant eyes. "My da's gone," He tells her.

Lily's perfect lips pucker in a confused pout. "Gone?" She repeats.

Gesturing with his arms, Severus elaborates, "Took the car and just left."

Lily's head tilts and with increasingly uneasy eyes, she thinks to ask, "Why?"

Gulping, Severus looks to his feet in shame, (after all, very few children can make their father's leave by simply getting an acceptance letter to a school-magic or otherwise) "I got an acceptance letter to Hogwarts."

The girls eyes shine like summer's come early. "The magic school?" She implores in awed tones.

Severus's lips tilt in faint pleasure. "Yeah, that one," he concurs.

Lily quiets then, seemingly fallen into some deep thought. "Are you sad?" She finally inquires.

Severus opens his mouth, however, he doesn't say anything right away. Is he sad? No, maybe a bit ashamed, maybe a bit angry on his mother's behalf, but all in all, he's relieved. "No, not especially."

With a sage nod of her head, Lily grins at him, all her verdant eyes' focus solely on him. "Then I'm happy for you." She gushes and for the first time, Severus beams at her.

"Thanks." He acknowledges, taking Lily's outstretched hand to pull him from the sagging swing.

Their two hands stay linked, (even after the school bell rings).


	2. A New Life is Waiting

Severus thrums in his mother's skinny arms, neck craning for a look around her, a look at the world he will join today. "Severus, look at me." She orders, fingers pinching him. Falling still, Severus stares into eyes more familiar than his own. When she realizes Severus has for the moment given himself to her, she smiles proudly. "Do me proud, won't you?" She implores.

Severus holds back his guilt and nods his head in solemn agreement. "Yes, mother." He mumbles.

Tucking a limp lock of hair behind Severus's ear, she absorbs him in a rare hug and whispers into his ear. "You'll make a fine Slytherin."

Severus tears away with great abruptness and cast his face towards the waiting train. "I do want to save a compartment for Lily and me." He remarks to his mother.

She lays a feather light touch to his shoulder and smiles anxiously. "Of course Severus," she accepts. "Go on, remember to write me tonight." She implores of him.

Now several feet away and plowing towards the train, Severus lifts a hand to wave goodbye and calls. "I will mother!"

bounding up the train's steps, Severus does his best to smother the dopey grin fighting to overtake his face; he's going to Hogwarts!

* * *

Finding a compartment, Severus stores away his trunk and returns to the hall to scope out for Lily. He leans against the door, watching older students pass without a second glance and sees other first years anxiously searching for empty compartments, Severus realizes he's happy Lily won't have to do the same (happy he won't be forced to sit with strangers in awkward silence). Out of the corner of his eye, Severus catches a shock of fire-red hair and a grin already on his face; Severus turns fully for it to slip from his face at the sight of two boys on either side of Lily.

"So, that's why you should  _totally_ be in Gryffindor!" A messy haired boy chatters to Lily, who smiles and nods. Her eyes shift, then her face turns to meet his.

A relieved, brilliant smile lights up her face. "Sev!" She cries, shuffling, she takes her trunk back from the other boy and hurries to Severus's side. "I've been looking all over for you!" She exclaims.

She throws her arms around him, choking Severus in her berry-scented hair; Severus diligently returns the surprise hug with a pat to her back before pulling away. "I told you I'd save us a compartment." He reminds her.

The girl giggles, "Sorry, Sev, I forgot." She apologizes, enlarging her eyes she waves her arms around. "It's just so magnificently distracting!"

Cracking a smile, Severus empathetically nods his head. "It's better than mother's stories." He murmurs.

Peering around Severus, Lily asks, "Is this the room you saved us?"

Curling his fingers in the handle, Severus prepares to open it. "Yeah, I saved you the window seat." He tells her.

Lily's verdant eyes glimmer at him. "Thank you Sev." She whispers, the pair would have reveled in the closeness a while longer if a cough hadn't interrupted their daze.

Glancing up, one of the boys who accompanied Lily smirks pompously. "D'you think we can share with you guys?"

Lily looks ready to frown, but with more courtesy than Severus thinks necessary, she descends her head in acceptance. "If you want." She answers. The two boys high-five and Severus sends his friend a quizzical eye, Lily just grimaces. Cocking his head, Severus tries to understand, but gives up prematurely with a shake of his head.

"C'mon lily, I'll show you my wand." Severus offers, leading her into the compartment.

Putting on her brightest grin, Lily hurries to follow Severus. "That'd be great!" She agrees, "I'll show you mine too." The girl adds after she begins to hear the two boys behind her whisper.

Settling in the compartment, the two duos pointedly ignore each other. "Do you know what house you want to be in yet, Sev?"

Severus sighs, he  _doesn't_ know, frankly. Mother wants him in Slytherin, but...Lily only ever gushes about the wizards from the other houses ("The witches and wizards from Slytherin always seem to sour, don't they Sev?") Who shall Severus disappoint? Mother? Hasn't she been disappointed enough? Or Lily? Lifting his gaze subtly from his lap, Severus looks at the lovely face with the greenest eyes he's ever seen; she catches him looking at her and gives him one of those patient understand smiles. Severus struggles to control the heat quickly rising up his neck and tears his stare away. Is he going to disappoint the one person who's been there for him? The one person he's always been able to call his friend?

Clearing his throat, Severus admits in a quiet whisper, "I don't know, wherever the hat puts me is fine."

The boys across the little space, who'd fallen hushed upon Lily's question, make a point of speaking now. "You don't want to be in Slytherin! All the lunatics go there!" The shaggy haired boy cries.

"Yeah! And all the wizards from there are evil! My father said so!" The bespectacled boy declares.

Severus frowns at them, unimpressed, his mother is neither insane or evil. He tries to meet Lily's gaze, find comradery in equal disbelief; however, he sees that she's trained her verdant eyes on them and bites her pink lips anxiously. Severus worries, he can't let Lily think  _all_ Slytherin are bad. "My mother was in Slytherin," he counters, "And she's not evil or insane." Severus scowls, waiting for what they'll say.

The shaggy-haired boy dismisses this easily. "There's always the outliers, one's who got put there 'cause their families expect them to be there." He smiles a bit at this, "Like my family, My cousin Andromeda's the coolest girl you'll meet, but she's in Slytherin." With sudden vigor, he adds, "Me, though, I'm going to break tradition and be in Gryfindor!" The messy-haired boy pats his friends back at this, congratulating him, Severus thinks.

Severus, doesn't let the issue go though, instead he makes a great deal of pointing out, "Then not  _all_  Slytherin's are bad."

The boy pauses mid-grin, "Well, almost all of 'em." He shakes his head then, as if to rid himself of the contradictions he has no interest in fixing. "What about your father? Is he Slytherin too?"

Severus tenses and tries to find a suitable answer for these obviously Pureblood boys. Letting his gaze drift to the scenery outside, Severus replies, "He didn't go to Hogwarts."

"Oh, well," The boy murmurs awkwardly, "What about you  _Lily_?" He says with a smirk.

"Evans will do," she snaps at the boy.

The bespectacled boy grins, "Alright Evans, what about your family? Are you hiding a cupboard full of Slytherin?"

Tilting her chin proudly, Lily tells them, "I'm the first witch in my family."

"Oh ho  _ho_  a muggleborn!" The shaggy boy crows, jumping up from his seat, he holds his hand out for proper introduction. "I'm Sirius Black of the most  _Ancient_ and  _Noble_ house of Black."

Lily hedges for a second, before taking up the offered hand. "Lily Evans of Baker Street."

The two Purebloods laugh, finding her clever. The messy-haired boy, shoves around Sirius and introduces himself with an exaggerated bow. "James Potter! At your service!"

It brings the barest of smiles to Lily's face (Severus hates them already). Lily, though, loyal to a fault, drags Severus up from his seat and introduces him. "This is my best friend Severus Snape!"

Sirius and James share conspiratorial looks, " _Snape_ huh?" James murmurs, "I don't think I've ever heard of a family called Snape."

Severus glares. "The-" He's saved from coming up with an answer when the compartment's door opens.

A mousy boy peers in anxiously. Severus immediately takes notice of the two scars that run criss-cross on his face, he feels vague sympathy for the other boy. Poor bloke, Severus wonders if the kid's father still lives at home. "Um, could I sit with you all? All the other compartments are full." He inquires.

It's James who waves the kid in, "Sure! Com on in..." he fades off when he realizes he doesn't know his name.

"Remus Lupin." The boy supplies.

"Remus." James finishes with a happy smile.

"You can sit there." Sirius tells the boy pointing to the free spot next to Severus.

Relieved, the boy nods. "Thanks, um...?"

Rolling his eyes good-naturedly, Sirius takes it upon himself to introduce them all. "I'm Sirius Black," He says, then pointing to the rest of them one by one he goes on, "That's James Potter, Lily Evans and Severus  _Snape_." Popping the p on Snape.

Remus nods in acknowledgement and take his appointed seat. Eyes gleaming, James questions the new boy. "So, what house do  _you_ want to be in Remus?"

This seems to startle the boy, "Oh, I haven't given it much thought," he mutters, "I guess...well, I think with how much I read I'll probably end up in Ravenclaw." He chortles.

Lily beams at this. "Ravenclaw! That's where you should go Sev!" She happily cries, "You are the smartest boy I've ever met and you read about a  _billion_ books a month!"

Severus blinks, seemingly considering this. It wouldn't meet mother's hopes, but...it was close wasn't it? Respectable at least. Nodding his head, Severus agrees to Lily's judgment. "Yes, I think mother would approve as well."

Lily snags his hand in hers. "Of  _course_ she will!" Severus smiles shyly at this, he hopes Lily's right and he  _really_ hopes mother won't be too disappointed.

 


	3. It's a Chance I Got to Take

Coming into the Great Hall, Severus couldn't help but be impressed by its' grandeur. "Oh! Look up there Sev!" Lily half-shouts, pointing up to the ceiling. Severus tilts his head and gasps at the constellation filled sky-ceiling-it's remarkable.

"I see." He murmurs, hand searching out for hers. His hand brushes Lily's and instinctively, her warm fingers interlock with his. Looking away from the stars, Severus sees how pale the girl's face has become. "Are you okay Lily?" He asks.

Big, worried verdant eyes find his beetle-black. "What if when they call me up and the hat tells everyone I'm not really a witch? What if the letter was wrong? Or what if I'm no good-"

"Stop." Severus orders, "You are a witch and you are going to be amazing Lily. You'll be so good you'll have everyone coming to you for advice." He tells her confidently.

A weak smile rises on the girl's features. "I don't know about that Sev, I'm nowhere near as smart as you." She deflects.

Severus shakes his head. "No, potions and defense against the dark arts maybe, but I'm lost when it comes to transfiguration." He admits to her.

Lily seems to consider this. "Okay," she acknowledges, "But-"

"No Lily." Severus scowls sternly, "You'll be wonderful at everything you do, you'll see."

She frowns her uncertainty, but allows Severus to win the argument with a small "Alright."

Suddenly, the whispers around them die down and Severus and Lily stretch their necks to see what's silencing everyone. "It's the sorting hat!" Lily exclaims pointing to a woman standing beside the stool where the ratty hat lay.

"D-" Severus starts, but he's abruptly cut off when the hat breaks into song. Boy and girl listen in surprise as the hat tells them about the houses they will join, listening keenly for Slytherin and Ravenclaw, Severus finds that he likes the sound of the later more with each passing word. Eventually, the hat reaches its' end and everyone erupts in polite applause. As the Headmistress unfurls her list and calls for the first student, Severus leans in close to Lily's ear;

"Do you know what house you want then?" Severus mumbles to her.

"Gryffindor or Hufflepuff, they both seem like they'd have nice people." Lily answers.

Severus rolls his eyes. "Maybe you should pray for Hufflepuff, I don't know if having Black and Potter in your house would beneficial to your sanity."

Lily giggles. "Maybe you're right!" She grins and Severus manages to smile even though fears have begun to bog down his mind. The more he turns it over, the more he sees the truth coming to light, Lily will be Gryffindor (someone as bright and true as her belongs nowhere else) those idiots will worm their way into Lily's affections and she will be lost to him forever-his one true friend gone.

Lily's keen eye picks up Severus's worrying of his chapped lip. "You know Sev, no matter what happens you'll always be my very best friend."

Those dark eyes turn to her, so very uncertain and so very optimistic. "Truly?"

Squeezing the slighter child's hand, Lily nods her head resolutely. "Always," she swears.

"Sirius Black!" The name rings out through the hall, Lily hushes for a breath before bumping shoulders with Severus to draw his attention to the boy swaggering towards the stool.

"He's so full of himself!" She mutters to Severus.

Frowning at the distasteful display, Severus watches the hat fall over the other boy's eyes. "He is," Severus agrees.

Just over a minute after the hat has settled on Sirius's head, it screams, "GRYFFINDOR!"

Severus chuffs a breath. "No surprise there," he sneers.

Lily bats his arms. "Shh! The Headmistress is looking this way!" She hisses at her friend with a hard effort to appear stern.

"Right," Severus smirks and the two fall silent as they watch their classmates be sorted.

With no warning, the Headmistress barks, "Lily Evans!"

Pupils dilating, Lily flashes Severus a nervous smile and chortles. "That's me!" She trembles as she strides towards the lone stool on display for all to see. He watches the ragged hat slip over Lily's large green eyes and holds his breath. A moment or more later, the hat screams;

"GRYFFINDOR!"

Severus release a gust of air and claps with a lot less decorum then he cares to admit. Lily's gaze finds him as the hat's lifted off, her face is alight with a proud smile and Severus makes sure to return it. He wishes so strongly he could be a part of the pride of lions too; however, he knows it would be ill-suited to him and his temperament. Lily waves to him as she walks towards her new family, mouth silently forming one last well-wish, "Good luck!" Severus clings to her last words.

All to soon, Remus Lupin walks up to the stool, blushing and looking down at his lap as the Sorting Hat falls over his eyes. The hat's doesn't say anything for a minute, then two, three, just as they are going to reach four minutes, the hat yells, "GRYFFINDOR!" Severus startles, but still manages to clap for the boy. Curious, hadn't Lupin believed he'd be in Ravenclaw? Did this mean he didn't get a choice? Panicking marginally, Severus prays that he'll be more Ravenclaw than Slytherin. Brooding over the new development, Severus hardly notices the sortings until the headmistress calls for a particular name; James Potter.

Fighting back to the present, Severus looks on silently as Potter marches up to the stool smile broad and confident. The boy then rolls his eyes as the hat barely touches the boy's head, before it hollers, "GRYFFINDOR!" It isn't a surprise in the slightest, nowhere else would have taken the bull-headed boy. Severus gives his slightest attention as more children filter through, clapping where it's appropriate; but through it all, his mind remains on the issue; what house will he sort into?

Much quicker than he realizes, Severus hears the Headmistress shout his name. Keeping his hands in tight fists, he strides towards the stool trying not to shake. Taking the seat, The Headmistress smiles briefly at him as she lets the hat fall over his eyes. He can't stop his fidgeting as the hat sifts through his memories; he sees the ones of Severus throwing himself over mother to keep father's brutal hands off her, sees the ones where his cruel streak wins out as he chases the local stray dogs and pelts not so small stones at feral cats, but he also see him boost Lily's spirits with awkward compliments and platitudes after her fights with Petunia and most of all, it sees that he has the courage to stand up for what's right-when it suits him, anyway-or when Lily's involved.

Hm...you could be Gryfindor, but you're not a very selfless one, are you?

"No," Severus murmurs in agreement.

I see you have quite a bit of cunning as well, one needs it in a situation like yours-if they plan to live-that is.

"Not Slytherin, please," Severus begs, not when it will only bring him ridicule, not when it will not please Lily.

Ah, quite adamant aren't you? Then where do you suggest boy?

"Ravenclaw, I think, I will learn what I need to become the best Potioneer there." He explains to the hat.

But not the connections...

"I don't care," Severus hisses boldly.

If that's what you want...The Hat exhales.

"Yes," Severus agrees with a sigh of relief and with his confirmation, the hat bursts forth with it's choice. The Ravenclaw table claps proudly and peeking around the brim of the sorting hat, Severus sees Lily's beaming face as she screams herself silly with pride.

Fighting back a full-blown grin, Severus joins his new house and tries his best to compose a letter in his head that will break the news gently to his mother. Surely she won't be too disappointed? Ravenclaw turns out many respectable wizards and witches and far fewer fall into a life of darkness than those of Slytherin. Watching food appear before him, Severus lets his mother drift from his mind as he helps himself to his first dinner at Hogwarts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to ask, does Severus ending up in Ravenclaw make sense considering what you all know so far?


	4. The Blush in the Sky Begins to Fade

His first day is starting with promise, Severus thinks. Strolling into the Great Hall, he's already in deep discussion with Joshua Hilliard about the merits of a toad over a rat for a familiar and when he glances to the Gryffindor table he sees Lily, eyes squinted from sleep and smiling tiredly over at him. Waving a hand briefly, Severus throws a leg over the table's bench and takes a seat. Ogling the food laid out for them, Severus awes at the variety and the sheer abundance. Picking up a bit of toast, marmalade and an apple, Severus wonders if he'll ever be capable of eating the heaping amounts he sees the other boys (and girls) putting on their plates.

One of the older girls-Dorcas Meadows-frowns at his portions. "Aren't you hungry?" She asks.

Struggling not to blush, Severus meets her empathetic gaze and lies through gritted teeth, "Just nervous."

The girl's eyes widen briefly and with an encouraging smile, she says to him, "Don't be." Severus shrugs a bit and makes an exaggerated point of taking a big bite of his apple-the juices pour from his mouth. As Severus dabs at his sticky face, Dorcas smiles at him and goes back to her bowl of porridge.

"Hey Severus!" One of the boys from his year calls, looking over at the brunette, Severus raises an eyebrow. Grinning, the boy inquires, "What class are you excited for?"

Not even missing a beat, Severus answers, "Potions." The other first year opens his mouth again, but before he can say a word owls are swooping into the hall dropping packages and letters every which way. Lifting his head up, Severus finds himself surprised when a letter drops to his plate; gingerly picking it up, Severus realizes it's the one he sent his mother the night before. Frowning, he unfolds it to see his writing smeared and water stains dotting the end, shifting his hand, something slips from one of the creases and Severus fumbles to catch it. When it's between his thumb and forefinger, Severus gapes at what he sees. It's a photo; once crumpled and twice folded of his mother and father side by side on a hospital bed, between them is a bundle wrapped in beige the only hint to what it being the black tuft of what appears to be hair poking around the edge. Running his finger over his father's smiling face and his mother's glittering eyes, Severus wonders not for the first time if he'd stayed unmagical would his family still look like this.

"What you got there Severus?" Joshua asks, Severus hurriedly folds the letter back up and pockets the picture. Lifting his lips, he answers softly, "Nothing, just a letter from my mum."

The boy nods and waves his own letter. "Yeah, mine sent me one too, she's glad to hear I'm in the same house as my sister."

"You're sister?" Severus implores curiously, he hadn't remembered the boy mentioning one.

"Yeah!" He exclaims, pointing to a girl with a braid talking to Dorcas; "That's May," he says proudly. "She's Prefect this year."

"That's neat." Severus acknowledges, suddenly, a cry breaks out from the Gryffindor table.

"Sev!"

Twisting in his seat, Severus sees Lily racing over to him waving a letter in her hand. Frowning, Severus catches the girl as she stumbles over a satchel on her way to him. "What's wrong Lily?" He questions as her red, scrunched face.

Shoving the letter into his face, she whispers shakily, "Just read it."

Stomach churning, Severus takes the letter and skims over the gushing from Lily's parents until he hits his name.

 _There was quite a commotion the other night, when your father went to take a look he learned that a woman on Spinner's end killed herself with a_   _bullet_ * _to the chest...I'm certain it was Severus's mother. I don't know if he's heard, it's not like the police can reach him in the magical world after all...you'll let him know our hearts go out to him, won't you? Also, make sure he knows he has our support and help wherever he may need it,_

_love mum._

Pale and shaken, Severus shoots up from his seat. "Let's get out of here Lily," he whispers and without another word begins the walk out the doors.

"Wait Sev! Our bags!" Lily yells grabbing his up from the stone floor as well hers, running after him, she ignores the whispers and looks that follow.

* * *

Curled together in the nook of a window's ledge, Severus keeps the heals of his hands pressed to his eyes and tries his damnedest not to cry. Rubbing his arm, Lily sighs and settles her head against Severus's shoulder. "Maybe you could talk to the Headmaster? You said your mum was a witch, right? Maybe he could see if her family here is still-"

"No," Severus chokes, effectively cutting her off. "I will  _not_  claim people who turn out their kin as family." He growls.

Lily lifts her head and stares for a long moment at her friend's tense body and face. Finally, she whispers, "Okay."

Peaking around a hand, Severus looks longwise at his friend. "I'm going to skip today, will you fill me in after dinner?" He implores.

Lily frowns, "It's the first day." She reminds him.

Severus fights the tremble of his lip, yet it quivers still. "Lils, I just-" breath hitching, he whispers, " _Can't_."

Lily bites her lip. "Maybe the nurse at the infirmary would let you stay for the day?" She offers.

Severus lifts his head from his hands for the first time and gazes straight across the hall. "Yeah, I bet she would."

Slipping her hand into his, Lily suggests, "I could walk with you there?"

Severus tugs his hand away and shakes his head. "No, it's almost time for class; you don't want to be late." He tells her.

Lily searches her friend, "I don't mind," When Severus settles her with another one of those stern looks she sighs, "But, if you're sure..." She trails off.

Severus stares her down. "I am." He agrees.

Lily's shoulders droop and launching at her friend, she hugs him quickly and whispers into his ear, "I'm here for you, okay?"

Severus drops his head to her shoulder for a moment, just taking in the berry scent of her hair. "I know," he breathes.

"Right after dinner." Lily promise and bounding down from the sill, Lily fixes Severus with one more penetrating look before plodding down the hall and out of view.

When she's gone, he doesn't stop the tears that spill from his eyes or wipe them away when they singe his cheeks. Curling into himself, Severus sniffles soundlessly and tries to pretend the world doesn't exist for a while.

* * *

About an hour later, a shout breaks Severus from his daze. Startling, Severus falls from the sill and bangs his head on the cold floor. "Hey! You're that Ravenclaw Lily was with on the train!" A voice screams far too loud, rubbing the back of his head, Severus tries to locate the person. As his vision clears, he sees two feet come to stop right in front of him.

"What are you sniveling for Severus?" One of them asks.

"Sniveling. Severus. Snivellus!" The second crows, the sound of hands smacking above draws Severus's eyes up to see their faces.

He sneers, Potter and Black. Black hovers over him, a less than kind smirk on his face. "So, what are you sniveling for Snivellus?"

Scrubbing away the stains on his cheeks, Severus looks away and grumbles, "None of you're business Black."

James's foot toes him. "Oh,  _I_ think it is!" He grins.

Struggling up to his feet, Severus glares them down. "No, just leave me alone, would you?" He demands.

Potter and Black laugh. "Where's the  _fun_  in that  _Snivellus_?" Potter whines.

Face turning into a snarl, Severus shoves at them. "Quit calling me that!" He roars.

Puffing up and corning the smaller boy against the wall, the two smirk at each other. "Oh...getting a bit cocky for a  _Ravenclaw,_ aren't you?" Black hisses.

Looking between the two, Severus realizes with miserable clarity just what he's done. "Just leave me alone." Severus grits, wishing for the life of him he hadn't left his wand in his bag (never again, he promises).

James smiles gamely. "I think someone needs to be reminded just how  _meek_ Ravenclaws are." He remarks and the two friends snicker while Severus squeezes his eyes shut and begs whoever is listening for it to be over quickly.

However, before a hex, curse, or hand can touch him, a voice rings through out the hall. "Hey!" The two menaces heads turn and Severus cranes his neck to see a tall boy with a shock of red hair in Gryffindor robes heading there way. "What do you two think you're doing?" He demands glaring down the two first years.

"Nothing Bill." Sirius mumbles taking a step away from Severus.

Eyes narrowing, the older teen-a prefect, his badge indicates- pushes his glasses further up on his nose. "I don't know how  _Slytherin_ families are, but in my family, we were taught  _not_ to be bullies."

Sirius's face turns a deep shade of angry red and Severus takes the distraction as a chance to snag his bag from the sill half a foot away and pull his wand out and hide it in his robes. "We weren't doing anything." Sirius argues.

Bill only crosses his arms. "Look, if I catch you two doing something like this again I'm going to take away points, okay?"

James Potter squirms with sudden nervous tension. "We won't do it again, Billius." Potter swears, then tugging his friends arm, he mutters, "Let's go."

A mutinous glint comes to Sirius's eyes, but he grudgingly allows Potter to tug him away and down the hall. Sighing Billius runs a hand through his red hair and looks to Severus. Offering a hand to the first year, he announces, "Billius Weasley, Prefect."

Severus eyes the teenager for a minute before taking and shaking the hand. "Severus," he trades.

Weasley smiles, but it fades quickly to replace with earnest honesty. "Hey, if they ever give you anymore problems find me or one of your prefects and we'll deal with it, okay?" He tell Severus. The younger boy nods, but knows he'll never seek out help; if he's learned anything in his eleven years, it's you take care of your own damn problems.

Billius pats his shoulder and Severus can't stop the flinch and the teenager appears confused for a moment, but then his eyes take on an unreadable gleam as he says to Severus, "Why don't you head to your next class, Severus."

Severus lowers his head mutely and slipping on his satchel, he trots down the hall-but not to class-planning to return to his dorms until dinner. Maybe in his new bed he'll get the peace and quiet he so desperately needs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * As to the instrument of Eileen's death, hears an explanation to how and why:
> 
> Yes, things like automatics and stuff are banned. But the laws in the UK are just strict; it's not impossible to buy a gun legally and the guns you can own are certain rifles, pistols, long barreled revolvers and pistols, shotguns and air pistols. Also, take in consideration this, at the time of Eileen's death it's 1971; gun control hasn't yet reached the peak it's at now (this is before the Hungerford Massacre and Dunblane Massacre).
> 
> Now, I'm going to set up for you a situation where Eileen's death isn't strange or suspicious; let's say at some point after Severus was born (and before he showed magic) the Snape's house was robbed or something. So, Tobias gets it in his head to get a pistol to protect his family; he gets one-legally-and has it licensed like he's supposed to for the next five years (because that's how long a gun license lasts until it needs renewing). But by five years time Severus's showing magic and Tobias has gotten slack and drunk so forgot to renew the license.
> 
> Next, let's think about this way, Tobias left the gun behind; Eileen probably knows if she uses her wand to kill herself it will bring the magical world to her. So, is she going to let the wizarding world know how far the Prince heiress has fallen or is she going to use her husband's gun and leave the muggles to deal with yet another anonymous person's death? I think you guys can figure it out, (or come up with your own explanation).


	5. Darkest before the Dawn

Flipping to his back, then his stomach, to his side and back to his stomach, Severus sighs listless. He hadn't slept well the night before either, but, that had just been nerves and that had  _also_ been before he found out mother killed herself. Now, Severus thinks insomnia will haunt him for the rest of his days (always whispering to him your mother died because of  _you_ ). With an irritated huff, he kicks back the rich blue blankets and slips to the cool stone floor below. Shivering on contact, Severus reaches for his school robe and tugs it on over his too small patched pajamas. Maybe if he took a stroll...but, students aren't supposed to leave their dorms this late at night. Glancing to his bed, his heart sinks and his mouth turns dry; no, he just  _can't_.

Breaking taboo, Severus finds himself sneaking out of the Ravenclaw dorm and wandering down Hogwart's long lonely halls of Hogwarts. He patters to and fro, no real destination in mind; only a glimmer hope of drooping eyes and unstoppable yawns. Eventually, he finds himself at the Gryffindor Tower and gazing at the sleeping face of the Fat Lady. Stopping, Severus remembers what Lily told him only a few hours earlier;

" _I know we're not supposed to tell those outside our house, but...the password's quaffle, if you ever need me."_

Severus later won't be able to say what compels him, but he approaches the portrait and in a gush of air, hisses, "Quaffle."

The Fat Lady blinks bleary eyes and without much thought, swings open, letting the young Ravenclaw into the Gryffindor common room. Looking around, Severus finds stairs that wind away somewhere in to the darkness; coming to one, he ascends them. Floating down the narrow hall, he stops at the last door; the room first years stay in. Pushing past the door, he inspects the beds on either side; just as Severus thinks he's wrong and the first year room isn't in the same spot as his own, he see's Lily's fire mane highlighted by full moon beams, and somewhere in the back of his mind, he takes notice as a howl rips through the chilly air.

Shivering, Severus takes a fumbling step to her bed and rests a hand on her shoulder. She snores quietly and Severus wonders if he's sound in mind, (no, of course he's not, his mother just  _died_ ) fighting inhibition, Severus gives her a strong shake. She stirs, sooty lashes fluttering against her sleep flushed cheeks; turning, she looks up at his fathomless dark eyes glittering in the moon shine and yawns, "Sev?"

Taking his hand back, Severus looks away and bows his head. "I can't sleep," he admits after a pause.

Lily sits up, rubbing at her eyes, she looks around at the beds filled with sleeping girls and knows Severus can't stay in her bed like he would back home. Crawling out of bed, duvet clutched tight in her fingers, she links hands with Severus and leads him from the room. They walk back the way Severus came until they are in the Common Room, eyes darting around the room, she picks a sofa nearest to the embers still glowing in the fireplace.

"This way," she whispers, bringing them to the couch. She wraps one corner of the duvet around her shoulder and then the other around Severus. "We'll sleep here tonight." She tells him. Huddling close under the blanket, Lily sniffles resting her head on Sev's shoulder and waits for the familiar weight of his on her crown when she says, "If people ask how you got in, I was waiting up for you."

Severus is quiet for a minute and Lily wonders if he's fallen asleep already. "Okay," he mutters, a deep sigh tickling stray strands of her hair.

Fighting away slumber, Lily asks, "Did you want to talk about it Sev?"

It takes him no time to answer, "No," he snaps, body suddenly ridged.

Rubbing her cheek against the bony shoulder, she tries to sooth the sharpness as she breaths, "Okay." His shoulder looses the tension and with relief making her even more tired, Lily mumbles, "G'night Sev."

A yawn resounds from above, "You too, Lils." In a matter of a minutes, both boy and girl are soundly asleep to the steady rhythm of the other's breathing.

* * *

Prowling into the Gryffindor Tower, McGonagall expects to make a quick round and check up on her students, what she doesn't expect is to find one her newest charges asleep in the Common Room; especially not with a boy  _that's not from Gryffindor_ _._ Morphing back to a witch, the woman puckers her lips and strides over to the two first years, she makes to shake them awake when she gets a good look. Her anger softens and the sternness of her eyes relaxes, looking at the two upturned faces; she sees only innocence (not like the older students). Sighing, McGonagall supposes letting this go for  _one_ night won't hurt either child; taking out her wand, she levitates the couch and brings it with her to her study. No reason to leave the pair to be teased in the morning. Settling them nearest her office's hearth, the woman fusses with warming and cushioning charms before jotting down a quick note for the two;

 _I'll allow this only once, if I catch you in the wrong dorm_ sleeping  _with another of the opposite sex I shall deduct house points and assign detention._

_Professor McGonagall_

_P.S. you may take you're leave back to your dorms upon reading this._

Eyes falling back to the boy and girl, McGonagall suddenly remembers this is the pair that caused the commotion just this morning. Peering down at the two, she comes to the conclusion this is why the boy ended up in her dorm; however, she wishes now she knew what caused the trouble this morning. Curling thick red hair behind the girl's ear and pushing the lanky black away from the boy's face, McGonagall decides she'll talk to Flitwick tomorrow; maybe he'll be able to weasel from his student what happened earlier today.

Backing away, she cast the two one last glance; they're the closest of friends she's seen enter Hogwarts in a long while. A sad smile etching her face, she hopes the friendship will last through the battlefields of adolescence and house tensions. Retiring to her chamber, she misses the sight of a green and black eye opening in the orange light of the embers and she doesn't see the secretive smile they share.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Severus being able to go to Lily's dorm doesn't fit with what actually should have happened, but...consider it a bit of Hogwart's magic at work ;)


	6. Only at Christmas Time

Watching his roommates chatter as they pack their trunks to take home for the holidays, Severus feels his heart twinge in a way it hasn't for nearly a month. He won't ever get to go home and see his mother again, not this holiday or the next. Wistfully running a hand over the pocket where he keeps the picture of his family, Severus wishes he could remember that first Christmas; the joy and promise it must have brought.

He's broken from his revere by a single too loud exclamation. "Yeah! My dad said he has pictures of the Ironbellies, I'll ask if I can bring a couple to show you Josh." Otto Bagman tells his best friend as he closes his chest with a resounding thud.

Grinning at the blond, Joshua Hilliard replies, "And I'll sneak the old radio from my attic to Hogwarts for you."

Approaching his friend, Otto holds his hand up for a high five and whoops, "Terrific!" The clap that comes from the two is so sharp it makes Severus wince in sympathy for their stinging hands.

In front of his own bed, Mark Bletchley lays his last sweater in his trunk. He looks up and Severus with embarrassing clarity realizes he's going to be asked why he's going to stay at Hogwart's for the holiday; dunderhead, at the very least he could be  _pretending_ to pack. An inquisitive appearance comes to the normally taciturn boy, "Are you staying here for holiday, Severus?"

The question draws the attention of his other three roommates and Severus fights the urge to duck his head and nods with strained nonchalance. "I am," he answers coolly.

Robert Wood tilts his head in confusion and asks with innocence that  _hurts,_ "Why Severus?"

Swinging his legs, Severus shifts his gaze to the snowy grounds just beyond the windows. "Mother and father had sudden business to take care of in Germany, they thought it best for me to spend the break at Hogwarts." He replies.

Joshua's face scrunches briefly in concentration. "I think Marlene's the only other first year staying," he remarks.

"That's fine," Severus shrugs turning away from the other boy's completely. Striding to the window, he sees other kids beginning to pour outside and to the waiting carriages pulled by...invisible horses? Shaking his head, Severus says to the other boys, "I see kids getting into the carriages."

"Oh no!" Robert cries, "We don't want to get left behind!" And in a sudden bustle and flurry of movement the other boys hurry to pull on cloaks and scarves while pulling their heavy trunks behind them.

Once the three other boy's are outside the dorm, Mark seeks Severus out. "Are you coming Severus?"

Falling back from the window, Severus tips his head at the other first year. "Yeah, I promised I'd meet Lily one last time before she left for holidays."

The dishwater blond frowns at Severus in that odd way of his and mutters to him, "You really should consider your loyalties Severus, it's no good when you fraternize with other houses."

Severus sends the boy an exasperated look. "You sound like those dunderheads Black and Potter, aren't you above that idiocy?" The dark haired boy sighs.

Glancing long-wise at him, Mark Bletchley murmurs, "You know, they just might be on to something." And without another word disappears out into the hall leaving Severus uncomfortable and upset. Black, Potter and Mark  _can't_ be right; Lily's his  _best_ friend, he couldn't possibly treat her with such shallowness. Worrying his lip, Severus wonders if  _her_  dormmates haven't been filling her head with such nonsense too; panic choking him, Severus flees the room to find Lily.

* * *

Gasping for air, Severus searches the incomprehensible sea of students for a single figure; dismaying at the thought of missing the chance to say goodbye to Lily, he turns to go back into the castle when he nearly collides with a person his size.

"Sev?"

"Lily?"

"Oh Sev! It is you!" Lily squeals, grabbing her friend up in a hug. Gazing at him with large green eyes, she admits to him in the guiltiest of tones, "I thought I'd have to leave without saying goodbye."

Snagging Lily's mittened hands, Severus smiles. "I worried the same."

Lily grins, relief evident in her brow. "Good thing we didn't have to!" She giggles. Suddenly, her face morphs to earnest concern. "Are you sure you want to stay for holiday? Mum and dad would be happy to have you." She tells him for what must be the billionth time.

Forcing a smile, Severus bobs his head. "I'll be fine Lily," he replies.

She sighs and roves her eyes to her boots. "I'm going to miss you Sev." She whispers.

"It's only two weeks." Severus consoles.

"That's a long time! I've been seeing you everyday for the almost four months now! What am I going to do without you?" Lily pouts.

"I'll write you everyday?" Severus offers unsure.

The girl tosses her head back and laughs. "Oh Sev, I wish all my friends were like you." She exhales through left over chuckles.

"I don't know about that," the dark haired boy skirts, "Lily," he urges tugging at those hands for serious attention.

"What's the matter Sev?" She inquires, verdant taking on a worried hue.

Licking his lips, Severus casts several which-way glances before giving everything back to Lily. "Have-Has anyone told you not to be friends with students from other houses?"

The redhead's lips pucker in a confused pout. "What do you mean? Well, I guess Potter and Black say stuff like that-but that's more because they're bullies, you know? The girls might have mentioned it's strange I spend so much time with someone outside of our house...it doesn't matter though? Does it?"

Gulping, Severus answers with a shaky smile. "No, not much, just curious is all," he lies.

Relaxing her tense body, Lily grins brighter and leans over pecking his cheek. "I'll see you after holiday, okay?" She tells him as the last calls for students carry from the carriages.

Smiling shyly, Severus nods,"Yeah, bye Lils." He whispers, one hand hovering just above the tingling spot where her lips were only moments before.

Scampering off with a feather-light charmed trunk behind her, Lily looks back to wave. "See you soon Sev!" Severus watches with intensity ill-suited for his age as the carriages begins the slow plod off Hogwarts grounds and to the train station. Only when not even sound carries any longer, does Severus turn back into the student depleted Hogwarts. Wandering back towards his dorm, Severus considers the quiet to come. While he'll miss Lily, the lack of bustle and movement will be greatly appreciated. A slow smile spreading across his lips, Severus remembers the books Lily left for him to read over holiday:  _The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe_ -he only has chapter more to read- _Peter Pan_ and  _The Jungle Book_. Relishing the idea of spending hours pouring over stories, Severus quickens his step back to his dorm.

"Snape!" A voice yells, freezing midstride, Severus slowly faces the voice only to scowl at who he sees.

"Black." He spits.

The boy stares back at him awkwardly. "You stayed too, huh?"

Stiffening, Severus sneers. "I didn't have much choice,  _if you must know_!"

A bitter smile takes on the regularly fool-hardy boy's countenance. "I didn't either," he mutters.

Severus sighs, while not there to witness it (he had been dealing with his own problems at the time) he  _had_ heard of the Howler Black's mother sent him upon learning of his sorting; to say the least-it was not warm or accepting. Biting back any cruelty he may at any other time allow, Severus asks;

"What do you want Black?"

The boy lifts his gaze in surprise, obviously not expecting any polite behavior from the boy he harasses on a daily basis. "Lily talks about what a  _witty_ person you are all the time, I was thinkin' if you didn't have anything to do we could hang out here and there over break."

Severus nearly drops to the floor in shock, surely he's lying? Though, if he's not...eying the other boy, Severus watches with undeniable interest as Black squirms and twiddles his wand between his fingers. A new idea forming, Severus considers-if he's not spinning tales-wouldn't it be better if Severus made friends with Black? It could carry over to after break and (hopefully) save him from anymore attacks from the terrible duo (and their sometimes accomplices Lupin and Pettigrew). Lifting his chin to an imperious edge, Severus drawls, "I'm willing to consider your offer."

Eyes alighting Black claps his hands with a grin. "Merlin! I thought you'd laugh in my face!"

A wiry smirk steals across Severus's lips. "I thought about it."

The larger boy barks a laugh. "What do you do for fun?"

Severus taps his wand against his thigh. "Well, Lily and I read; sometimes, if the weather's nice we go for walks."

Sirius groans. "You got to be the most boring first years ever!" He proclaims.

Bristling, Severus snaps, "What do you know! You think fun is belching contests and playing pranks on unsuspecting innocents when you're not hunting m-" Severus slams a hand over his mouth, holding back the torrent of accusations.

Sirius shudders. "I get it, we're arses." He mutters, "But, you're friendship with Lily; it's  _strange._ "

Thoroughly frustrated with the wizarding world and the strange customs of Hogwarts Severus cries, "What's so wrong about being friends with her? We've been friends  _forever._ "

Sirius frowns, "Isn't she muggleborn?" He frowns.

"Yes, so?" Severus demands.

Sirius tilts his head, "Huh, but how did you two know each before school?"

Severus sighs. "My family lived in a muggle neighborhood and after I discovered Lily was a witch, I began to educate her in the magical world and in trade she lent me muggle books."

"Books?" Black repeats, "What, are her parents librarians?"

"No," Severus shakes his head, "Her father's father owned a bookstore before the Blitz; her family has great appreciation for literature." Severus answers.

"Blitz?" The Gryffindor mutters, "Whatever the bloody hell is that?"

Severus contemplates the boy curiously. "You wizards  _really_ do have no idea what's going on outside you're little world."

"Hey!" The bigger boy rebukes, "That's not fair! Regular muggles don't know anything about what happens here either!"

Severus stares on with half-amusement. "Not of their choice, I'll remind you." The boy counters victorious.

Black huffs and crosses his arms. "Look, it's almost dinner and you can tell me all about this 'Blitz' when we hang out tomorrow, you're still on, aren't you?" He inquires some subtle nerves bleeding into his body language.

Severus rolls his eyes and nods. "If I were done with you, I would have just walked away." He explains to him, "Also, I need to start thinking of ideas for a gift I can give Lily; if you help me with that, I'll tell you all you want to know about the Blitz." Holding out a hand, Severus cocks his head and demands, "Deal?"

Looking down at the offered hand, Sirius strikes it up with a crooked smile. "Deal!" He agrees. Letting go, the boy backs off with an overly cheerful wave. "See you tomorrow Sev!"

"Don't call me that!" Severus shouts after him, but Black only laughs as he continues his march to the Great Hall. Severus's stomach growls, but then his mind longingly reminds him the books just a few halls away. Debating his choices, Severus decides he can always eat later and heads off for his dorm and the books waiting for him.

 


	7. Keep your Head Down Low

The following morning on his way to the Dining Hall, Severus is so enthralled in  _Peter Pan_ he nearly topples his head of house on his way into the great room.

"Mr. Snape!" A voice squeaks, halting Severus and sending his heart into a panic.

Turning slowly, Severus guiltily tucks his book into his robe and looks down at the little professor. "Yes sir? he asks softly.

The little man smiles brightly, "I've been meaning to talk to you for a few months now, but I've always seemed to have trouble finding you and when I do run into you you've always stressed how busy you were...but with the holidays here, maybe we could chat over tea sometime?" He implores, then tipping towards the pocket where Severus just hid his book he offers, "We could talk about what you've been reading lately, I hear from Professor Slughorn you're exemplary in Potions."

Severus looks to his feet. What is he to do? The very thought of talking to the man fills him with fear and dread; what if he accidentally lets it slip? What if the man uses Veritaserum? What if he simply breaks down? Severus can't risk it. Through clenched teeth, the first year whispers, "Yes, maybe later; I'm a bit hungry right now." He tells the tiny man.

The man smiles in a sort of triumphant way. "It's not matter, we can do it any time really; I'm bound to run into you at a more convenient time." Flitwick explains and then with a dismissive wave says to him, "I'm sorry I'm keeping you, go on, have breakfast."

Severus nods. "Thank you sir." and he hurries into the hall sinking into a seat at the Ravenclaw table. Staring at the food surrounding him, Severus realizes with sudden misery that he would rather be sick than eat.

"Severus! What are you still doing here?" Lifting his head, he glances into Marlene Mckinnon's freckled face.

Picking a roll from a tray and rolling it up in a napkin, he mutters, "My parents had sudden business to take care of."

The look the girl gives him is one of knowing sympathy. "Me too," she sighs, then twisting her lips she hedges, "Well, more like my granddad caught Dragon Pox and my mum told me and my sister to just stay here for the holidays-we'd have a better time here than helping to take care of a grumpy old man."

Severus hums sagely and inquires, "Where is your sister? I don't think she's in our house?"

The girl gives a mirthful smile and shakes her blond head, giving Severus a glimpse of those infamous pointed ears the girls were always teasing Marlene for. "She's in Gryffindor," the other first year says to Severus, "The first in three generations, not since my great granny Beatrice." The girl fidgets. "Um, I was planning to go eat breakfast with her, but..."

Severus gets up from the table and stuffs the roll he picked into his free pocket. "No, I'm heading there too." He tells her and the girl blinks curiously.

"Why?" She inquires, "I thought you said Lily was going home for Christmas."

As they meander over to the sparse table, Severus bobs his head. "She did," he agrees, "But, Black didn't."

Marlene narrows her eyes. "But you two-" she stops and makes a funny motion of her two fists colliding (with sound effects).

Smirking Severus concurs. "Yes, we do." The girl readies to say something more when Severus hold up a hand. "But, you see, he's alone now and he wants to 'hang out'." The anxious widening of the blond's eyes echoes Severus's own feelings. "I know it seems strange...but, if he's being truthful; wouldn't it be better to call truce for a bit and lay down foundation for alleviation of his and Potter's bullying?"

The girl's brow scrunches. "I guess..." she mutters, "It has  _some_ merit."

"Yes, it does." The two split away from each other, Marlene to a brunette's side and Severus to the yawning Black's side.

Waving, his fellow Ravenclaw calls, "See you at dinner Severus!"

"Bye Marlene." Severus concludes, flicking Black in the arm.

"Snape?" The other boy mumbles.

"Yes, who else Black?" Severus scoffs. Shifting his eyes to the staff table and back to the bully Gryffindor, Severus leans in and hisses. "I want you to show me the secluded spots in Hogwarts, the ones hardly anyone knows about."

Blinking up from his bowl of porridge, Sirius questions him suspiciously, "What makes you think I know of any spots like that? Besides, why should I?"

Severus rolls his eyes. "Come on Black! You and Potter ambush me enough time for me to know you have a better grasp of the Castle's nooks and crannies than I do and as to  _why,_ weren't you the one who wanted to make 'friends'?"

Sirius winces and pouts into his breakfast. "Fine, I'll show you a few, but I still want to know why you want to know about those places." He agrees.

Tugging the boy up from the table, Severus agrees. " _After_ you take me to a spot, I'll tell you then."

The Gryffindor snags an apple from the table as Severus hops him out of the Great Hall. "You could have let me finish breakfast!" He whines.

Giving the other a harsh glare, Severus hisses. "Do you want to know why or not?"

Sirius grumbles something under his breath and yanks himself away, taking lead of their small adventure. "C'mon, this way!" He calls.

* * *

Spinning in his chair, Sirius grins at Severus as elves mill around preparing Hogwart's lunch. "So this is the kitchen!" The other boy exclaims. "It's pretty neat, huh?"

Severus stares at him unimpressed. "I'm sure you know of a better hiding spot." The Ravenclaw sighs.

Sirius eyes him in confusion. "What's wrong with the kitchen? Hardly any of the students know about it-maybe a few upper years-but, it's one of the cooler ones." He argues, feeling rather put-out that he didn't impress the smaller boy.

Severus shakes his head and stirs his tea rather desolately. "It  _is_ very impressive, it's just..." he trails off scowling angrily at his tea as he purposefully crushes the sugar cube he put in only a moment earlier.

Perking back up, Sirius jumps to ask, "What is it?"

Tucking his hands under the table, Severus whispers, "The teachers must know about the kitchen."

"So?" The Gryffindor frowns perplexed.

"I'm trying to avoid Flitwick." Severus admits softly.

Nervously, Sirius laughs. "What? Don't tell me you're afraid of him."

Severus bites back a glare and lifts his gaze to meet Sirius's. "Look, I don't know why-I assume McGonagall must have impressed upon him to-but he keeps wanting to  _talk._ " He sneers.

Sirius crosses his arms. "So? He's your Head of House, why shouldn't he want to talk to you?" Sirius simply can't figure out the other boy, he doesn't understand why talking to someone as unthreatening as Flitwick could scare the Ravenclaw so much.

Desperately, Severus asks, "Can't you show me another hiding spot? Please?"

Sirius shakes his head stubbornly. "Not until you tell me why." He demands.

Gritting his teeth Severus hisses. "Something happened back home and I want to figure it out myself, I don't need anyone else taking care of  _my_ problem."

Sirius, for a moment, feels fierce empathy. "Yeah, okay I can show you a different spot." He agrees, but he can't help but add, "But, I think you should think about mentioning it to Flitwick, you know? Maybe he could help." Sirius suggests, well, he hopes he can help; McGonagall saved him from having to go home until summer break.

Severus looks away, (and Sirius knows right then he's lying) "Maybe after the holidays." The dark-haired boy says.

"Okay," Sirius shrugs, "Let's get going, it's a bit of a trip." Watching Ravenclaw try to not seem eager to leave, Sirius begins to wonder if he's not the only whose family fails to live up to popular ideal.

 


	8. Somewhere only we Know

Trailing behind the bigger boy, Severus stops and scowls. "We've walked this way ten times! Admit it, you don't know what room you're looking for."

Sirius whirls around, eyes blazing with wounded-pride. " _Three_ times!" He counters, then stomping a few feet forward and then back to Severus, he grumbles, "I  _know_ it's on this floor!"

Sneering at the other's back, Severus sneers. "Yeah,  _right_."

Turning on the younger boy, Sirius pulls to full height; face set to a look not far from murderous and opens his mouth wide to bite into the slight Ravenclaw when suddenly, a movement from the corner of their eyes steals their attention. Heads shifting, the two boys stare at the conspicuous door. Frowning, Sirius takes the first step towards it. "This wasn't here before." He comments.

Severus tilts his head and scrutinizes the rather normal looking door. "Are we sure? We weren't looking for it, after all; we just might not have noticed it." He reminds Sirius.

Sirius hums contemplatively, glancing long-wise at his partner, he smirks impishly and inquires slyly, "Should we check it out?"

Severus pauses for a moment. "...I don't see why not." He finally decides.

Clapping his hands, the Gryffindor's smirk becomes a full-blown grin as he chirps. "Wicked" and Without further ado, yanks the door open.

Stepping into the room, the two children quiet with awe.

"Look at all the books!" Severus whispers happily.

Snorting, Sirius points to the numerous games on the other side of the room. "Look at all those games! I don't think I recognize even half!" He exclaims giddily. Ignoring the other boy, Severus further surveys the room and finds that it favors not one house's colors, but equally divides itself between the four. Glancing to the middle where a fire crackles, he dreamily imagines spending the rest of holiday here reading... "Oh wow!" Sirius crows, bouncing over to one wall where pictures-magical and muggle-crowd it. "What  _is_ that?"

Trailing after the other boy, Severus glances to where the other's finger points. "Oh, that," Severus murmurs, "I believe that's Van Gogh's  _Starry Sky,_ though, I might be mistaken about the name."

Sirius lifts his eyebrow and stares at the Ravenclaw. " _Who_?" He questions.

Flushing a deep pink, Severus scowls and crosses his arms. "A  _muggle_  painter."

Eyes sparking, Sirius slowly turns around and mutters, "If this room has muggle paintings, do you think they'd have books about muggles?"

A bit shocked by the Gryffindor's musings, Severus doesn't say anything for a moment. "You could be right," he finally cedes, "Let's take a look." Severus suggests, pointing to the opposite wall stuffed and overflowing with books. Hurrying over the two scour the shelves, plucking and pulling books recognized (or unrecognized in Sirius's case) from the shelves. Fifteen minutes later, the two stand meet face to face; a pile of books in each of their arms.

"The shelves have a lot of Dickens work, but I picked out a few others I thought looked interesting too." Severus tells Sirius.

The bigger boy blinks. "Okay," he smirks, "I'll pretend I know what you're saying," Severus blushes at this, "But, I saw books on stuff called Aero-planes? That war you were talking about the other day and this story book I haven't ever seen before!" He chatters excitedly, shoving said book into Severus's face.

Pulling back his head, Severus briefly reads the author. "Oh,  _The Grimm's fairytales;_   _Rapunzel_  and  _Hansel and Gretel_  and stuff."

Brushing a hand down the spines, Sirius remarks curiously, "I didn't know muggles read and wrote so much."

Severus cocks his head to the side in confusion. "You know, they aren't  _that_ much different from us wizards and witches." The pureblood boy lifts his eyes and watches Severus as he begins to explain. "Sure, they don't have magic; but, they have electricity, science and mechanics."

Putting the books down on a conveniently close table, he takes a seat on a leather ottoman and demands (begs), "Tell me about the muggle world."

Severus quiets in surprise. "Why do you want to know so much?" He asks.

Looking away, the other boy rest his chin on his fist and confides in Severus quietly, "I want to be different from my family." Patiently, Severus waits for him to go on. "They're those extreme type, ya know? Anything less than pure is dirt and I want to-to" he throws his hands up in the air, unable to find the right words.

Sitting down in an armchair, Severus chimes in softly, "You want to take your family in a different route, show them there's more out there."

The Gryffindor nods eagerly. "Yeah, I wanna make 'em  _see_ , ya know?"

Severus bows his chin. "I understand."

Relief, real and unhidden, appears on the others features. "Thanks for not making fun of me."

Severus shrugs and plucks at his fraying robe sleeves. "You're not the only one who wants to be different," he mumbles.

Sirius looks at him for a long time. "No, I guess not." He agrees after a few minutes.

Glancing up, Severus shyly inquires, "What would you like to know about the muggle world?"

Sirius hums and looks to his pile of books and back to Severus. "Tell me about that Blitz, what's that?"

Straightening in his chair, Severus clears his throat. "Well," he starts, "during you're magical war with Grindelwald, England was warring with Germany. During the war, Germany would come and drop these huge things called bombs that would blow up buildings and kill people."

Eyes wide, Sirius gapes. "What's the Blitz got to do with _that_?"

"I'm sorry," Severus says, "That's what we call Germany's bombing raids, Blitzkrieg."

Sighing, the Gryffindor says almost sadly, "I guess neither world is safe."

Severus taps his chin. "No," he agrees, "But it doesn't mean we can't _try_  and make them both safer."

"Is that what you're going to do? Make the world safer?" Sirius implores a bit bemused.

Severus shakes his head, but then nods. "A little, I want to be a Potioneer-I'll make stuff to help people."

Eyes glowing with sudden pride, the boy makes a happy noise and tells him, "I just had a great idea! Make Evans some mood-nail polish, my cousins love that stuff."

Eyeing him, Severus questions uncertainly, "You'll give me the correct directions?"

Smiling, Sirius sweeps his arm to the bookcase. "I bet we can find it right here!" He laughs.

Getting up, Severus begins to search for potion books. "Keep asking me questions, I'll answer while I look."

Flopping back on the ottoman, Sirius sighs. "Okay, give me a minute to think of some..."


	9. Yuletide Cheer

Christmas comes a lot quicker than Severus expected. He goes to bed one night, after a day spent trying to exhaust the seemingly endless books in his and Sirius's secret room, to wake the next morning to someone shaking his shoulder.

"Mph.." He murmurs, squinting up at a dark face-Kingsley Shacklebolt-a sixth year. He isn't quite certain why the older student stayed, he doesn't have O. nor N.E.W.T.s; however, Severus is both polite and uninterested in his fellow students' affairs and so hasn't asked. "Let me sleep." He sighs, turning in his pillows.

With a soft chuckle, Kingsley pulls his covers away. "No way," he says, "You'll hate me forever if I let you miss Hogwart's Christmas Spectacular." Severus knows he's teasing and would let him sleep in if he insisted, but he rolls over to blink up at the other boy.

"Yeah?" He questions, "What's so spectacular?"

This makes the older student grin. "Well, you get quite the spread of festively shaped pancakes and other tooth-ache inducing treats and they'll have the Christmas trees dressed up..." He fades off for a moment, building tension as he announces quite excitedly. "They're also be these wicked crackers with the best presents you'll ever get."

Severus sits up, "Okay," he agrees, "I should probably go down for the owl delivery anyway." He mutters, downplaying his curiosity. The sixth year only smiles knowingly and leaves Severus to get ready. Stifling a yawn in his sleeve, Severus puts his feet on the cold stone floor and with the prompt, doesn't linger in getting dressed.

* * *

Coming to the Great Hall, Severus stutters in his step; staring at the nearly garish room.

"Woah!" Someone behind him awes, glancing back, he sees it's Marlene.

"Pretty  _elaborate_ , isn't it?" Severus remarks to her.

The girl giggles. "Oh yeah! I don't even my granny even goes this far and she  _lives_ for Christmas!" She tells him quiet happily.

Severus offers a smile. "Want to see what we get to eat for breakfast? Five gaellons it's all sugar cookies."

An impish smirk coming to her lips, the blond nods. "You're on!" Together, the pair hurry into the dining hall; tripping each other and snickering.

Upon reaching the table still spurting with errant giggles, the older years look at them with a mixture of fondness and exasperation; "C'mon you two!" Dorcas Meadow waves, "The crackers won't appear 'til we're all here!"

"Sorry!" The two chime in unison, settling into they're seats Severus spies all the cookies around. Jutting his hand jokingly at the girl, he prompts. "Pay up!"

Marlene pouts and scans the table over with a careful eye. "Nope!" She disagrees, shaking her head; pointing to a single platter she proclaims, "Those are waffles!"

Narrowing his eyes, Severus studies the food. They  _are_ waffles, but they've been colored blue and made in the shape of snowmen. "Oh wow," he mutters.

Several of the older years chuckle and the blond beside him crows with victory. Severus, though, doesn't mind, because for the first time in years, he doesn't feel persecuted by the laughter. So with a pleasant smile blooming on his face, he joins in the laughter. The students begin to heap the confections on their plates and Severus takes the cue and picks a few of the waffles and what appears to be a jam-filled bun. He's not much for sweet things, but it's an okay treat once in a while. Half-way through breakfast, the crackers pop into existence around the students and looking to Marlene, she eagerly takes up one end and allows him the opposite end.

"This one's mine!" She cries and pulling hard, the two gaze on as it pops open with a shriek and several sparks; the prize revealed. "Oh! Wicked!" She coos, "An Ever-Bashing Boomerang," Fingering the item she comments. "A cousin of mine has one of these-he gave himself a bloody nose with it."

Severus frowns. "Sounds dangerous."

The girl shrugs. "I suppose," snatching up another she offers one end to Severus. "C'mon let's do yours!"

Hesitantly, Severus takes up the end. "Sure," he concurs tugging at it. Soon, the cracker bursts the same as the first and leaves for Severus a gift far more exciting than any silly old boomerang. "Neat, I haven't read this book!" Severus sighs happily, flipping through the pages, he thinks,  _Basic Hexes for the Busy and Vexed,_ will be rather interesting.

"Hexes?" Marlene whispers a bit uncomfortably. "Those aren't nice."

Severus shrugs and distractedly gulps down a bit of Eggnog. "No, but you never know when you might need to know one or two." He explains.

The blond doesn't say anything for a minute (not that Severus takes much notice) and finally she sighs. "You're likely right." Humming, Severus loses himself in the book and in his the food.

* * *

Twenty minutes of distracted reading later, Severus startles when a brightly wrapped box drops right in his food. "Uch!" He cries scrubbing away the splatter of food from his face with his napkin and glancing forlornly at both his meal and present.

Laughing, Dorcas Meadow says, "That's why you shouldn't read at breakfast!"

Severus scowls and picks up his sticky package. Rolling it over in his hands, he sees a little note attached. Unfolding it, he reads the quick message inscribed;

_Hey Sev!_

_Merry Christmas! I hope you like my gift, mum and daddy gave you one too, (I think it's a tin of brownies) write me soon and thanks for the nail polish! Even 'Tuney admits it's pretty cool!_

_Love,_

_Lily_

Severus smiles slightly at the letter and with a bit of reluctance ruins the rest of the paper by tearing into it. He finds a pair of blue knit gloves and a festively candy cane striped tin; breaking into the box, he finds not only at least a dozen of brownies but a letter tucked in between them. Curiously pulling it out, Severus opens it with a great deal of trepidation.

_Dear Severus,_

_We've been in contact a great deal with Lily over the semester, she's talked a quite a bit about you and from what we understand, you've yet to find a place to stay with your mother passed on and your father gone. Now, we know your a tough and resourceful boy; but, even you can't live without help. We'd like you to think about it, but we'd be willing to offer our home to you for the summer-longer even-and our hearts to you._

_Love,_

_The Evans Family_

Folding the letter back up, he tucks it into his pocket and sits silently.

Nudging him, Marlene implores, "So, who's it from?"

"Huh?" Severus mumbles, "Oh, it's from Lily." He answers.

The freckled nose wrankles, "What about your mum and dad? Didn't they send anything?" She inquires.

Severus pales. "Oh no," he whispers, "We don't have money for that." Getting up from his seat, Severus stammers, "I-I" catching a breath he whispers, "I need to go." And with little thought on his mind, he runs from the Great Hall; racing down twisted corridors and tripping over uneven stones, Severus eventually falls to the ground in an empty hall and crumpling that little bit of hope in his pocket Severus begins to sob.

Because, what else can he do? He's been offered a new hope, but for it he'll lose another. He can never go home again, but maybe, if he doesn't screw up; he can find a new one.


	10. As Long as you'll be my Friend in the End

Scrunched up in his armchair, Sirius scribbles furiously on his parchment trying to finish his paper in time for when term begins in a couple days. Hopelessly stuck on trying to explain the properties of knotgrass, Sirius looks up and to the floor where Severus lays sprawled out a pile of crumpled paper beside him. Cranning his neck to get a better look at the other's face, he see's the smaller boy's face is furrowed. Weighing the pros (and not the cons) he demands, "What are the properties of knotgrass?"

Severus's quill runs lop-sided on his paper and with an aggrieved sigh balls it up and tosses it into his pile. Rolling up from the floor, Severus comes over and snatches the paper from his hand. Reading it over, he answers in clipped tones, "It's in Polyjuice. Knotgrass helps you to keep your chosen shape after taking Polyjuice."

Sirius jots it down and then tilts his head to look at Severus. The slighter boy's face is pale with dark rings below his eyes and the way he carries himself speaks of aches gained from little rest. "What's with you?" He asks.

Severus looks up from where he's settled back on the floor. "What do you mean?" He counters suspiciously.

Sirius waves a hand at him. "You look...I don't know-troubled." He explains (maybe this will be his big break, maybe he's finally earned enough of Snape's trust to get something good to share with James).

Bleakness comes to the boy's eyes. "I've told you before you're not the only one with family troubles." The black-haired boy murmurs.

Sirius frowns in confusion. "What do you mean? Are your parents mad you didn't come home for holidays?" He inquires (his sure are).

Severus laughs (not a good laugh, no far from it), "Mother's dead and father's who knows where these days, why would any one be mad at  _me_?" He hisses, something powerful and angry shadows those already too dark eyes and lips snarling, he growls. "If  _anyone_ should be mad, it should be  _me_!"

Uncomfortable, but too far invested and curious, the Gryffindor boy wrinkles his nose. "Then," he starts, "You don't got a family?" He whispers.

Severus shoulders slump. "No," he answers, but then his eyes stray to the parchment in front of him. "Maybe," he purses his lips, "I don't know."

Sirius stretches back in his chair and scowls. "How don't you know? Does your mother or father have family you can go to?" Sirius questions.

The line of inquiry only brings back more fury to those fathomless eyes. "None that I'd claim as mine." He sneers.

Sirius quiets for a moment. "Okay, then, who's the 'maybe' you were talking about?" He inquires.

His fingers wander to the pair of clothes only a few centimeters away; he's not strayed without them since he got them. "Lily's family," he replies.

"Oh," Sirius blinks, it turns in his mind in a pleasing way. To make your friends family...you get to choose who your family is then, don't you? It sounds quite splendid. "That's nice of 'em." Sirius remarks.

"I don't want to be a charity case." Severus scowls.

Kicking off his shoes, Sirius leans closer to the warm embers of their secret room's fire and answers, "Don't be." Severus looks at him then, eyes wary and interested. Smothering a grin at the fact that boy genius is looking to  _him_ for knowledge instead of the other way around; Sirius goes on and says, "Pay them back ten-fold when the chance comes around, then it's not charity.:" He stops, glancing to the waiting Ravenclaw, "Right?" He implores.

Severus seems to roll this over in his mind. Slowly, his hand scritches out a small note and he folds it away into his robe pocket. "That's actually very insightful Sirius." He comments.

Grinning proudly, Sirius gloats in the praise. "What can I say? I'm a genius."

Severus snickers. "More like a savant." He teases.

"Hey!" Sirius whines, "I'm way better then any saavent." Though, he doesn't actually know what one is.

The black-haired boy raises an eyebrow at him. "We need to get you a pocket dictionary, I think." He tells him.

"A what?" The bigger boy asks.

"There smaller versions of the standard dictionary, easier for travel." Severus elaborates.

Sirius hums. "Can I ask you something?" He mumbles.

Severus shrugs. "If you like," he pauses, "But, that doesn't mean I'll answer." He finishes.

"How'd you're mother die?" Sirius questions, staring straight at the slighter boy as not to miss his reaction. It was probably a good idea too, if the anguish that contorts the boy's countenance is anything to go by.

"I-" Severus swallows, "She killed herself the night of the first day of school."

Sirius whistles low and sad. "Oh wow," he breathes, "Me an' James were real dicks to you the next day too..." He says this, nearly sounding badly for it.

Severus chuckles weakly. "I don't blame you," lips wobbling, he attempts to smile. "It's not like I've let anyone but you and Lily know she's dead."

"Why not?" Sirius demands.

"What?" Severus mutters.

"Why not let anyone know?" The Gryffindor pushes.

The Ravenclaw shakes his head. "My mum...her family wasn't the good kind and I don't want to go to them," his eyes flicker with that dark-hell fire and he says something under his breath that sounds like "Not after da," or "Net fer da," Sirius thinks it's the first ( it makes sense anyway). His stomach does a funny thing and Sirius wonders if his parents aren't nearly as bad he's always thought them to be. Looking hard at Severus, he wonders if he should actually tell James any of this; it's not his place and it feels too... _breakable_. If he tells someone, he might just shatter this poor boy's world apart and any new one he might be trying to create.

Severus suddenly looks to him with frightened eyes, as if he understands exactly what Sirius's silence means. "You won't  _tell_ anyone about this? Will you?" He asks(begs) the bigger boy.

The Gryffindor slowly shakes his head. "I-I" he stammers, "I couldn't," he sighs, "I'll keep it secret just us like this room, yeah?" He suggests, looking hopefully to Severus.

The boy grins at him with real relief and gratitude. "Thanks Sirius."

Reaching over to clap his friend's shoulder, Sirius smiles. "It's not a problem Sev," he says to him. But, somehow, Sirius just  _knows_ he's going to mess this up; he's going to tell someone by accident or when he's angry and-and-

Severus looks him in the eye-hesitant-yet happy. "No really, I appreciate it, it means a lot." He insists.

"Yeah," Sirius agrees in little more than a breath and miserably, he wonders why he ever asked about Snape's mother.

 


	11. But all That's Dead and Gone and Passed Tonight

It's the scream that alerts him, "Sev!" Barely turning in time to catch her, Severus stumbles back a few steps.

"Oomph!" He murmurs.

Pulling away, Lily blushes and gives him a bashful smile.

"Sorry," she apologizes, "I just think this is the longest I've ever been away from you." The redhead explains.

Fingers tight around her waist, Severus cocks his head. "You were gone almost a week when you got your tonsils out."

Stepping away, Lily's hands slip down to hold on to his blue-clad ones. "That's right," she nods, "But, still," she goes on, "I think you should come home with me next break."

Severus hesitates. "I don't know..." he frowns.

Glancing down to their hands, Lily's face lights up in a grin. "You're wearing the gloves I made you!" She cries.

Face dusting pink, Severus shuffles his feet. "The castle's cold." He remarks.

Giggling, Lily leans her head forward so their foreheads touch. "You like them." She mumbles triumphant.

A bit overwhelmed by all the touching, Severus looks to Lily's fingers. "Well, you're wearing the polish I made you; it seemed fair I wear my gloves." He tells her almost convincingly.

Lily Leans away to bring her hand up for admiration. "I am," she agrees, "I love it." A sly smile on her face, she thanks Severus. "It was nice of you to send a bottle for 'tuney," she says, "After she saw it on me she looked awful jealous, so I gave her the second one."

Severus looks down at his feet. "I know your sister doesn't like magic...but, before we left she was getting into make up; I just thought.." the dark-haired boy shrugs, embarrassed.

Lily leans forward, pecking his cheek. "It was very thoughtful." The girl compliments.

Shyly, Severus looks up into those verdant green eyes and smiles.

"Oh wow Evans is snogging Snivellus!" James Potter crows.

The pair whip their heads around to see James, Sirius, Remus and Peter walking around the gaggles of children and straight towards them. Hands clenching into fists, Lily glares her fellow Gryffindor down. "I was thanking him James," she grits, "He's worthy of it, unlike you!" She spits.

James sneers, "I'm plenty worthy! Ten times as worthy than any slimy git!" He shouts, turning to looks to his friends for back-up he sees Remus has buried himself away in a book and Sirius is staring at his feet and Peter, he'd wandered off a moment ago. Frowning, James crosses his arms. "You really shouldn't look at him like that, people are going to get the wrong idea."

Stubbornly, Lily says, "He's my best friend."

"Yeah right," James rolls his eyes, "No one's ever going to believe you, boys and girls can't ever just be friends." The bespectacled boy then walks away, his friends on his heels.

Turning to Severus, Lily looks at him with worried eyes. "They're wrong, right?"

Squeezing her hand, Severus nods. "Of course." It's not like James Potter can be anything else, right?

Long after dinner and long past lights out, James slips out bed to go shake Sirius; however, before his hand even touches Sirius's shoulder, the other boy sits up. "I'm up," he whispers.

Scrambling up on to the other's bed, James grins in the dark. "So what'd you find out about Sinvellus?" He demands.

His fellow Gryffindor doesn't say anything at first. "Nothing, really," he answers.

James frowns. "You must of learned something!" He hisses.

Sirius sighs, "Lily's muggleborn." He offers.

James hums, "How's Snape know her then?"

"He's half-blood? Has muggle-obsessed parents?" The dark-haired boy suggests.

James grunts, "Anything else?"

"For Christmas he gave Lily and her sister mood-polish." He tells the other boy.

"None of that's interesting!" The messy-haired boy whines.

Sirius crosses his arms and scowls, even thought James can't see him all that well in the dark. "So? You knew he wasn't goin' to trust me, how much did you expect me to get out of him?" He grumbles.

The Gryffindor pauses. "Okay," he sighs, "Did he at least help you with your homework?"

Turning back, Sirius pulls a small pile of parchment out from beneath his pillow. "Practically did it for me," he answers triumphant.

James makes a grabbing motion. "Let me see!"

Handing it over, James holds it in one hand and cast a luminous with his wand in his other hand. "Oh wow, these are pretty good answers." He mumbles.

"Well he is a Ravenclaw after all," Sirius smirks, leaning tiredly on his fist.

"That's true." The messy-haired boy laughs. He slaps a hand to his mouth suddenly and looks around for any stirring first years; he notices an empty bed. "Where's Remus?"

Sirius shrugs. "I think he went to the infirmary after dinner," he mutters, "Had a headache, he said."

James lips curve down. "Poor bloke, always seems to be visiting Pomfrey," the boy comments.

Sirius nods his head in agreement. "Yeah, he does." And somewhere not far from the castle, a howl rips through the night air.

Severus wakes up, he's not sure if it's the howling coming from outside (funny how it coincides with the full-moon, you'd think there was a werewolf) or the crying a few beds down. Sitting up, he wipes the sleep from his eyes. Getting out of bed, he goes against better judgment to just let the crying fellow keep his privacy and looks to see who it is. Walking down the line of beds, he more hears than sees Joshua Hilliard crying.

"Hey," he calls, "What's wrong?"

Joshua flips over and looks at Severus with glassy eyes. "My dad's dead." He whispers.

Severus staggers. "What?" He gapes, "When?"

The brunette dries his tears with his sleeve. "He was comin' to get me and my brother and sister from the train," he whispers, "When he and some others were ambushed by these guys in black robes and white masks." Lip wobbling dangerously, the boy whispers, "Headmaster Dumbledore said he'd mention the incident at breakfast tomorrow, 'cause people need to know to be careful."

Severus frowns, "Why didn't he say it tonight?" He asks.

Joshua shrugs. "I think it's because a lot of kids skipped dinner to finish homework and see friends." He mutters.

"I'm sorry, that he's dead." Severus says.

The boy smiles ruefully. "Everyone's always sorry." He says.

Severus bristles. "I know what it's like not to have a da, though, so I mean it." He counters.

The other Ravenclaw looks up at him, mouth parted. "Yours is dead too?" He whispers.

Severus stops. "N-No," he stutters, "He left."

"Left?" Joshua parrots.

Severus exhales and looks away. "He didn't like my mum's and my magic; when I got my letter-he's gone." Severus stumbles, realizing he's giving too much away.

"You're a half-blood then?" The other boy implores.

Severus shrinks in on himself. "Yeah," he replies, lifting his head to stare into the other's eyes, he demands, "Do you mind?"

The other boy shakes his head quickly, "No!" He exclaims. He claps a hand over his mouth and glances about the dorm once; seeing no one has awaken, he gives Severus a smile. "I'm half too, my mum's muggle." He imparts to Severus.

Severus manages to grin back; maybe he's not such an oddity after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think :)


	12. No Where to Run, When you're Hiding from the Truth

Severus knows he shouldn't ruin a good thing, especially since he hasn't been heckled in nearly a  _weak_ ; but, they never discussed what they were going to do about the secret room after break. Eyes scanning the Great Hall's entry, Severus waits patiently for the Gryffindor's coming. Taking another spoonful of porridge, Severus sighs and settles himself to wait; after all Sirius is one of those stragglers. By the time he's finished with his porridge, (and his deviation notes, for that matter) Severus glances up one final time to the door; figuring he can always find the other boy later. To his relief and delight, he  _does_ see Sirius and for once, he's not with that prat James, but with Peter. Getting up and slinging on his bag, Severus waves. "Sirius!" He calls.

The larger boy looks his way with bleary eyes and with a quick word to Peter, approaches him. Coming over to him, the Gryffindor runs a hand through his hair. "What's up Sev?" He asks.

The black-eyed boy scowls briefly. "Don't call me that," he grumbles, "Anyway, I was curious to know if you've told your friends about the secret room."

Sirius considers him. "I haven't," he answers.

Severus hums on this. "I haven't told Lily or any Ravenclaws, if you're wondering." The Ravenclaw replies.

Sirius crosses his arms and stares the skinny boy down. "What's up? Why does it matter if I've told anyone?" He demands.

The other boy shrugs. "It doesn't really," he says, "I just want to know if you want to keep it between us or not, really."

Sirius pauses and shifts his gaze to stare at a fixed spot on the far wall. Severus grows impatient at a point and wants to remark on Sirius's slow processes, but holds his tongue and another moment later, the larger boy answers. "How about a secret between us for now?" He suggests.

"Oh?" The black-eyed boy murmurs, "What made you decide that? I was sure you would want to show your friends." He comments a bit surprised.

Sheepish, the Gryffindor looks to his feet. "I don't know where else we could meet without getting choice words from James." He explains, glancing briefly for Severus's reaction.

The long-neglected and abused boy feels oddly touched by the sentiment. "I didn't think you'd want to keep talking to me once holiday finished," Severus tells him with a bit of a smirk.

Sirius barks a laugh. "You grew on me, what else can I say?" He replies.

Severus's smile grows a bit and he looks to the Great Hall's entrance to see Lily shuffling in. Perking up, he decides to give Sirius a quick warning. "I'd not stuff yourself at dinner tonight."

The other frowns. "Why?" He demands.

Gesturing for Lily to come his way, Severus distracted explains, "It seems on the day holidays began some wizards and witches were attacked on their way to the train station."

Paling dramatically, Sirius murmurs, "What?"

"Joshua Hilliard's father was one of the unlucky few who did not make it out alive," Severus goes on, "I think he also said another student's boyfriend was killed too."

"Who attacked them?" The Gryffindor begs.

"Some wizards in dark cloaks and white masks," Severus answers as Lily comes to his side. "Headmaster Dumbledore is going to tell everyone about it at dinner tonight, because it has been so tightly under wraps the past two weeks."

"What's been under wraps?" Lily inquires, coming to her friend's side.

"An attack on some witches and wizards-a few died." Severus tells her.

A hand comes to Lily's mouth. "Oh how awful!" She gasps.

"Yes, Joshua's father was one of the few killed." The boy tells Lily.

"That's so sad!" She exclaims.

Sirius strangely quiet, chokes "I-I have to get breakfast."

Severus nods. "Alright," he consents, "If you ever want to meet up, just tell me."

"Right." Sirius whispers wandering off to the Gryffindor table.

Looking at Severus with very large green eyes, Lily mutters, "What's wrong with Sirius?"

The dark-haired boy thins his lips and pauses. "He was fine until I mentioned the attack." He explains to his friend.

The girl puts a hand to her chin. "How odd," she mumbles, "It's not like Sirius to turn quiet."

"Think he knows something?" The Ravenclaw inquires.

Lilly puckers her lips. "From what I understand, the Black family is rather involved in dark magic."

Bumping Lily's shoulder to direct her out of the Great Hall, Severus thinks on this. "Maybe, if the chance comes up I'll ask him." He suggests.

"With some tact, I hope," Lily teases.

Grinning at her, Severus jokes back. "Of course! Have you ever known me to be without?"

A playful quirk to her lips and a bounce to her step, Lily giggles, "Oh I don't know Sev...I think I can recall a rather tactless moment or two."

"You're mistaken!" Severus scoffs and both of them laugh as they meander down the halls to their first classes.

* * *

"Are you alright Sirius?" Peter questions, looking at his oddly silent friend.

A weak smile rises on his pale skin, Sirius nods. "Yeah," looking down to his breakfast, he then say, "Well, I have a bit of a headache; maybe I'll go see Pomfrey."

Peter bobs his head empathetically. "If you aren't feeling well, you should," He agrees, "Maybe you'll see Remus? I heard he's there."

Decimating his toast with his fingers, Sirius grunts. "Maybe," he concurs. "You'll let James know, won't you?"

"Of course!" The round-face boy cries.

"Thanks Peter," Sirius smiles getting up from the table. Dragging his bag along, Sirius ponders Severus's words with a queasy sickness to his stomach; dark robes...white masks...Sirius hates to entertain the idea, yet...

It had been the summer past, his family visiting his uncle for the weekend; he'd just gotten in a fight with Regulus and stormed off...

_Sirius takes a sharp turn, paying little attention to the direction he's taken or the fact that it's the wing he was specifically directed to stay away from for the duration of the evening. Kicking at an errant chair leg, the boy grumbles, "That little prick..." Huffing angrily, he stops after a few steps down the hall because of a low hum of voices. Curious, Sirius stills to listen for the source; once found, he then follows the noise to a door just a few more steps away. Dropping to his knees, Sirius listens intently through the thick wood to here a man talking and then a woman (his cousin Bellatrix, he believes)._

_Even more fascinated then moments before, Sirius decides to be stupidly brave and try to open the door a crack. To his great surprise, it does open and not for the first time the boy wonders why adults never seem to worry about locking doors and keeping quiet when they don't want others to know what they're doing. Peering in, he sees a group of darkly clad wizards as well as a few witches; upon each face is a bone-white mask carved with the most frightening faces. Eyes eventually finding the middle, Sirius is forced to hold back a breath at what he sees; it's Bellatrix, tall and proud wand pointing at a sniveling girl not much older than him._

_"Prove you're loyalty to the cause," a most ornate man hisses from behind his cousin. "Show me you are not faint of heart!" He demands._

_Eyes cold and lips curled cruelly, Bellatrix dips her head. "Of course my lord," rotating her wrist, she parts her lips and whispers the most frightening thing Sirius has ever heard; "Crucio!"_

_The girl screams, screams, and screams; Sirius watches her body contort into inhuman shapes-sees blood dribble from her nose and mouth...just as Sirius manages to finally tear his gaze away, the girl's shrieks come to an end._

_"Excellent," the man his cousin called lord whispers, "Now kill the filthy muggle."_

_"Yes my lord," Bellatrix agrees and with a flash of green light, she does._

Shivering from the memories, Sirius sinks against one of the castle's cool stone walls and tries to bury the images so deep, he shan't have to see ever again for as long as he lives.


	13. We're Falling and we're Losing Control

James wakes up in an ambivalent mood and when he sees neither Sirius or Peter thought to wake him or wait for him, he feels agitation towards his friends winning out over his happiness to see them once again after two long weeks. Grumbling nonessential things beneath his breath, James forgoes showering upon seeing the time and changes into his school clothes; he even tries to run a brush through his unmanageable hair-which only causes it have an even messier appearance. Yanking his satchel on to his shoulder, he more or less storms out of his dorm and to breakfast. Coming to the Great Hall, he sees only Peter at the Gryffindor table. Lip puckering into a pout, he goes to his friend taking one of the empty spaces on either side. "Where's Sirius? Or Remus, for that matter?" He demands of Peter.

The mousy boy shrinks at his tone. "Sirius went to the infirmary-I think Remus is still there too," Peter answers.

Slapping a few slices of toast down on his plate, James reaches for the marmalade. "Why'd Sirius go there?"

"He said he had a headache, after he-" The shorter boy cuts himself off suddenly; staring very hard at the yolks of his eggs.

"After he what, Pete?" James inquires with increasing interest.

"After he talked to that Ravenclaw-you know, Snape." He replies.

Puzzled, the bespectacled boy shifts back. "Why was he talkin' to him?" He murmurs.

Jabbing his egg, the round of face boy causes the yolk to ooze out life a ruptured boil. "I don't know, he didn't say; but, Snivellus called for him and what does Sirius do? Goes right to 'im, and then they're talking and even  _smiling_ at each other 'til Evans comes and then Snape and her left." Peter tells James, doing his absolute best to make it sound like their friend's done something wrong.

Staring at his toast in a despondent sort of way, James begins to peal away at the crust. "And then he had a headache after?" He asks, making sure he has it right.

Peter blinks, not quite certain why this information is nearly as important. "Yes," he concurs.

A slow scowl working it's way on to his face, the dark-haired boy questions, "And you said Snap and Evans had left just before?"

"They did, but why's-" Eyes growing twice their size, the other boy whispers, "Oh."

Angrily, James savagely bites into his toast. "He'd rather hang out with a poofter Ravenclaw and a  _girl,_ than his  _friends_!" He growls to Peter.

Looking at his breakfast in a decidedly pleased manner, his fellow Gryffindor nods his head. "You're right," he agrees.

"I want to know  _why_ though," James remarks with less anger and some misery.

Peter glances sideways. "Well, you'll just have to confront him, won't you?" He suggests.

The dark-haired boy nods his head. "Yeah, after our first class, I think."

"Okay," the other mumbles, consenting to the plan. Picking his fork back up, Peter begins to eat with a relish.

* * *

Of course, when Sirius didn't show up for potions; James plan went to hell. Glaring at no one in particular as Slughorn begins to explain what they'll be doing today (some fungus killing potion), James catches sight of Lily Evans scribbling what the Professor says down on some parchment. Peter's words coming back to him, James scribbles a quick note on a scrap of parchment; folds it up and hands it to Peter, who hands it to Mary MacDonald who gives it to Lily.

Lily's face twist in confusion at the words written on the sheet;

 _Where's Sirius_?

_-J.P._

Glancing in the direction of the bespectacled boy, the girls sees him staring at her; waiting for her to reply. Rolling her eyes, she jots down;

_I don't know, why would I?_

_-Lily_

Folding it again, she passes it back down the line; gaining a raised eyebrow from her partner. She sneaks a glance in Jame's direction and sees that he's frowning at what she wrote. His quill touches the paper again and Lily bites back a sigh of exasperation, not a moment later, the parchment is on her desk again. Unfurling it once again, she reads what's within;

_Because you're boyfriend's his new best friend, duh!_

_-J.P._

Lily feels her face grow hot; with embarrassment or fury, she isn't quite sure. Sending a harsh stare in the waiting boy's direction, she writes with several sharp taps to the paper;

_One, you toe-rag, Severus's **isn't** my boyfriend; he's my best friend and two, neither of us have seen Sirius since breakfast. If you don't believe me, I  **saw** Severus go to his charms class and sit beside one of the other Ravenclaw boys; nor did I see Sirius in or around the room-or on my way here for that matter._

_-Lily_

Handing it off to Mary, she whispers her friend "I won't be taking any more messages from him, alright?" The girl nods and relays the message to Peter as she presses the sheet into his chubby fingers.

When James gets her message and reads it, his brow furrows with annoyance and tries to send back the sheet once more, but Mary refuses to take it and Lily ignores it all and loses herself in Slughorn's speech.

* * *

Struggling not to put his head down on his desk as Professor Flitwick once again explains the wand motions of the softening spell, Severus idly flips through his potion's book scribbling notes in it as he goes. Glancing up occasionally at the professor-if only for him to think he's paying any attention, Severus mutters something about Honeywater*; drawing an amused look from Mark Bletchley.

Suddenly, the professor's voice rings out, "Alright everyone! I want you to try the softening spell again today! I was sorely disappointed in our results from last class!"

A low murmur of voices begin around them and Mark leans in. "What are you doing Severus?"

A bit uncertain, Severus decides he can at least try and explain. "It's not that our books are wrong," he starts, "But, some things aren't quite clear and they don't list alternatives or more streamline ways of making potions..."

Eyes twinkling, the boy smirks. "So you're correcting our potions book?"

Relaxing a bit back in his chair, he nods. "Basically."

Charity Burbage from his other side, leans in on her fists to catch a glimpse of his book. "That's quite clever, Severus."

Mark quickly agrees, "It is!" A smile not so kind on his lips, he then tosses in a cutting remark, "Much more clever than making friends with even more Gryffindors."

"Oh yes!" Marlene Mckinnon exclaims, trying to see around Charity. "I've been wondering why you became best mates with Sirius Black over holidays, didn't he bully you?" She implores.

Feeling less proud and more uncomfortable with all of the eyes on him, Severus hunches in on himself. "He was," he agrees, "But, he didn't have anyone over holidays so..." he waves a hand, "Besides, he said he'd try to get James and the others to lay off a bit."

Mark hums. "How do you know he'll keep his promise?"

Severus shrugs helpless. "I don't," he mutters, "But, no harm in trying right?"

Brown eyes gooey with overly sweet emotions, Charity leans in. "Oh I do hope you haven't gotten too friendly with him, I'd hate for him to do something that hurts you."

Joshua Hilliard walks around from his spot to be in their huddled group. "I think so too, Severus," he concurs, "You're a good mate, I'd hate to see you get hurt in all of this."

Severus overwhelmed by his fellow Ravenclaws sincere feelings does his best to deflect it all. "Thanks," he says, "But, I think it'll be alright, okay?"

"If you're sure," Mark mutters.

Readily, Severus agrees. "I am," he sighs, "Sirius might be an arse, but he's loyal too-had to be for Gryffindor, I don't think he'll do anything too malicious." Of course, Severus doesn't know this for sure; however, all of the attention's starting to worry him and if it will settle everyone, he'll say it as many times as he needs too.

 


	14. We were Young and Learning

It's not until lunch that Sirius makes a reappearance, slipping into his seat beside James he grins, "Hey." The boy beside him scowls and refuses to acknowledge him anymore. Slowly, panic consumes him and he asks, "What?" Glancing around the silent trio he repeats, "What's wrong?"

He sees Remus's dark-smudged eyes lift briefly and jumping on it, Sirius begs, "Remus? What's up?"

The tawny-haired eleven year old lets his eyes wander to James. "Why don't you just tell him James?" He demands.

Eyes going which way, the bespectacled Gryffindor shakes his head. "No," he refuses, "not here."

Rocketing up from the table, Sirius frowns angrily and snags the other's arm. "C'mon then," he orders.

James yanks his arm away and glares up at the dark-haired boy. "I can get up myself!" He snaps. Deliberately stepping up from the bench and gathering his things, James shoots a look to Remus and Peter, "Let's go guys," he tells them. Peter stares longingly at his lunch and Remus sighs, stuffing a roll of bread into his robe pocket. Following the duo out, they feel the eyes following them from their table.

Once a safe distance from the Great Hall and down a hall far enough someone passing through the main thorough way won't here, Sirius turns on James. "Why are you so mad?"

His fellow Gryffindor crosses his arms. "Why do you think?" He hisses, eyes narrowing in his rage, "You're best friends with  _Snivellus_ now and are even lying about going places so you can hang out with him!" He accuses.

Shocked, Sirius shakes his head. "No-I-" he stops, "You're talking about this morning, right? I went to see Madam Pomfrey! I told Peter that!" He counters.

Remus, clears his throat. "I was there until our class just before lunch, Sirius, I never saw you," he whispers.

Breathing quick, fear settles in on the eleven year old. "I-I didn't go see  _Snape,_ alright?" He argues, "Look, I was feeling sick- _really,_ it's just it wasn't the sort of sick you go to the infirmary for, okay? I just needed some time to be alone and sort things out..."

Studying his quite possibly ex-best friend, James cocks his head. "What sorts of things?" He inquires.

Sirius's shoulders slump. "I-nothing really important, family things..." he admits, "You know mine isn't so great..."

The bespectacled boy hums, "Why are you being so friendly with that Ravenclaw, though? I mean, you don't actually  _like_ him do you?" He questions, disgust in the idea evident.

Seeing that there isn't much way of getting out of this, Sirius is forced to decide. Is he going to defend Severus and lose his first friends and make enemies within his own house, or is he going to give away Severus's secret as barter and as an excuse? Looking to the boys accompanying James, it reminds Sirius of how this will ruin their little group and friendship; hell, it might just divide the Gryffindor house. Sirius knows he has enough charisma to make friends with the few other boys in their year and quite possibly win Remus to his side, but James is personable enough to get others to believe him and think Sirius is in the wrong...no better than any other Black. He can't have that, no, he wants- _needs_ for people to think and see him as different from his family or he may as well have never been sorted into Gryffindor.

Sighing, Sirius looks to the floor in defeat. "No..." he whispers, looking back to James, "I don't like him, It's just-I feel bad for him;" this brings an interested gleam to James eye and with a smile light and mischievous urges the Black boy on. "His mum's dead and his dad's gone...he's an orphan."

"No way," James murmurs, "How does no one  _know_ about this?" he awes.

Shuffling, Sirius's stare bores into the wall behind James and the others, "I guess, he was told about it through a letter from Evans's parents and the two of them kept it between them the two of them-until he told me, that is." He explains.

Eyes twinkling, a wicked smirk comes to the Gryffindor's face. "When do we have class with him? Transfiguration right?" He inquires.

"James..." Remus starts.

Looking to the other boy, James grins, "What Remus?"

The boy frowns. "You aren't just going to expose him, are you?" He questions, disapproval clear in his voice.

James huffs and crosses his arms. "Well, the teachers have to know, don't they?" He demands, "What better way than to bring it up in class?"

"I don't like this," Sirius says, "The guy's probably going to stay with Evans and her family over the summer anyway."

James glowers, "We're helping! It doesn't matter if Evans family wants him, what if his mum or dad's family wants him? They need to be notified too." He argues.

Sirius looks vacantly down the hall. "Okay James," he whispers, "I don't like it, but I won't stop you."

Reaching up and thumping his friends back, James laughs, "That's the spirit mate!" Sirius cracks a little smile and wonders if he's made the wrong choice; maybe house strife would have been preferable to what's to come.

* * *

Coming into transfiguration, Severus takes his regular seat next to Lily; thinking nothing of James and his goons as he smiles at the girl.

"How was herbology?" The redhead asks, pulling out her transfiguration text book.

Severus rolls his eyes, "We spent another day learning how to use incendio, I don't know how long it'll take the professor to actually give us Devil's snare to use it on..."

Lily twirls her quill between her fingers. "That's too bad; though, admittedly, we already know so much about the plants they've been teaching us. Your mother's old school books were very useful."

Severus is quite for a minute. "They were, weren't they?" He mumbles, "It was so kind of her to let us borrow them."

Lily, realizing that this is the first time they've spoken of the black-haired boy's mother since her death, nods. "It was," she concurs.

"Oi  _orphan_!" A voice shouts over the murmur of students. Severus freezes; slowly turning his head, he sees James smirking in his direction. Gaze darting to Sirius, he sees the Gryffindor is staring down hard at his desk. Smirk morphing into a cruel grin, James says, "Here,  _orphan,_ you dropped this." A quill that is clearly not Severus's in his hand.

"Did he say  _orphan_?" Someone behind the Ravenclaw whispers, and Severus feels his mouth go dry and all sense of speech leave him.

"Sev?" Lily implores, a hand coming to rest on his shoulder.

The class quiets to a hush at the sound of McGonagall's boots. "What's going on in here?" She demands suspiciously, eyes roving her silent and wide eyed class room.

Pouting, James looks to the transfiguration professor. "The  _orphan_ won't take his pen back," he says.

The woman's eyes grow and Lily leaps from her seat. "He's making stuff up professor!" She shouts, trying to save her friend's secret.

Lips thinning into a line, McGonagall shakes her head. "No, I don't think Mr. Potter is; while revealing this to a class full of students was cruel, I do think he's being truthful." Beckoning to Severus, she commands, "Come here Mr. Snape, I think we need to pay the Headmaster a visit."

Getting up on shaky legs, Severus goes to her. "Yes, Professor McGonagall," he utters.

Putting a gentle hand on the Ravenclaw's shoulder, she turns one last time to James. "I'm ashamed of you, Mr. Potter; fifty points from Gryffindor." This causes the bespectacled boy's jaw to drop and cries of outrage and groans to erupt from the Gryffindor side of the room while the Ravenclaws watched with silent satisfaction. Being lead from the classroom, Severus prays he can convince Headmaster Dumbledore not to contact his mother's family-nor find his father for that matter.


	15. This Garden Once was Perfect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments, kudos, and subscriptions!

The entire walk to the Headmaster's office, the transfiguration professor keeps her hand on his shoulder. He doesn't know if it's to comfort, guide or keep him from running; but, Severus hopes she'll release him soon. It only serves to put him on edge, it feels the same as when father used to walk him out to the shed to punish him for doing magic. It feels heavy, oppressive and controlling, he's sure she doesn't mean to; however, Severus can't help himself when his anxiety rockets at the sight of the gargoyle that leads to the office and he quickly turns to wretch.

He loses his breakfast and then some, once he's heaving only reflexively Severus gains control again and straightens out wiping his mouth with his robe. "'m sorry Professor McGonagall."

Her stern face is more open than he's ever seen it and she reaches out to touch him, yet Severus flinches violently; causing the woman to retract her touch. "It's fine child," she tells him and with a wave of her wand banishes the vomit. Shifting to face the gargoyle, she whispers, "Lemon poppies." Looking to Severus once more, she offers, "The headmaster is a decent man, he'll listen to what you have to say." Severus nods and follows after her up the winding staircase.

* * *

"You are  _scum_  Potter!" Lily screams at her fellow Gryffindor.

The bespectacled boy sneers. "That greasy git was the one hiding stuff from the professors and headmaster!" Her eyes blazing, Lily doesn't give a single indication of what she's to do; not until she's on top of James her fist snapping his glasses in half and causing blood to spurt from his nose. "AH!" The boy howls, "Get her off! She's nuts!"

"Lily!" Sirius hisses, grabbing one of her arms as Remus takes the other. "What are you thinking?" He demands, yanking her off with considerable trouble.

Tears streaking her anger flushed cheeks; Lily tears away from the other two Gryffindors. "What am  _I_ thinking?" She cries, "What were  _you_ thinking!" Furious, Lily's hand ball into fists once more and gaze accusing, she bares her teeth at Sirius. "I thought you were Sev's  _friend_ now! But, you gave away a secret that wasn't yours to that-that  _asshole_ bleeding on the floor there!" She declares; lips wobbling with suppressed sobs, Lily runs from the room.

Sirius feels every eye in the room find him and he wishes in that moment he'd never come to Hogwarts.

* * *

Eyes not twinkling any more, Severus feels himself shaking in his armchair as Headmaster Dumbledore's stare bores down solely on him. "Now," he starts, "Why don't you explain to me why you've kept you're guardian-less status from me and your professors?"

Severus drops his eyes to his lap and fidgets with his too short sleeves. "I-I," he stumbles, "I just didn't want you to go looking for my father..."he whispers, glancing up, Severus sees the man's waiting for him to elaborate more. Sighing, Severus utters, "He  _hates_ magic." And me. But, Severus left that for Headmaster Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall to figure out themselves.

The great wizard rubbed at the spot between his eyes. "Do you have any other family...?"

Heart beating wild and far too rapidly for it to be healthy, Severus desperately shakes his head. "I-no," he murmurs.

"Exactly what did you plan to do about this summer, Mr. Snape?" Professor McGonagall cuts in.

Severus briefly looks her way. "Lily's-Lily Evans parents were going to let me stay with them for the summer...I think even longer if I want," he whispers.

The Headmaster strokes his beard, "Hm..." he murmurs. "This is a rather unconventional choice of guardianship...we usually look for family, but if your sure there's no one who can or will take you..." the old man trails off.

Severus nods his head. "I am," he agrees with great seriousness.

Sighing, the great wizard reaches for a sheet of parchment. "I shall write the Evans," he tells the boy, "And see what I can do about making this an official  _and_ permanent arrangement for you."

Severus release a breath. "Thank you sir," he says, "I-thank you." He finishes incapable of finding any better words for the sense of appreciation he feels.

The man's blue eyes twinkle. "It's no trouble Mr. Snape," he chuckles, "But, I do wish you wouldn't have kept this to yourself so long."

Severus scuffs his foot. "I was just-afraid, I guess..." he mutters in embarrassment.

Professor McGonagall lightly touches his back. "I'm happy to see everything is working out for you Mr. Snape."

The boy briefly smiles; it does seem so, maybe he didn't have to worry about them sending him to his mother's family or his father after all.

* * *

Lily doesn't know what to do. How could  _anyone_ do something like that to someone else? How could they say they're friends and then turn around and reveal their most important secret. How _could_ Sirius do that to Sev? To their house? It seems the sorting hat was wrong; Sirius is not brave, his not loyal he is a rat and scum and so is James Potter and the rest of them for not doing anything too! Staggering through the halls, Lily eventually reaches her dorm; finding her way to her bed she falls into it and cries for the boy who won't cry for himself.

Some time later, she hears feet come in behind her; yet, she doesn't look up. "Lily?" A voice asks hesitantly. Sniffling, Lily shifts her head just enough to look up at Mary MacDonald and Sabrina Lewis from the corner of her eye. Sabrina bites her lip and Mary sighs. "C'mon Lily," Mary says, "James didn't even do anything to you."

The redhead's up in an instant. "He betrayed my  _best_ friend!" She spits at her roommate.

Sabrina and Mary share a look. Sitting down next to her, Sabrina takes her hand and her almond eyes widen with sympathy. "Look Lily..." she starts, "we get he's your friend-"

"My  _best_ friend," she grits, putting emphasis on best.

Plopping down on the other side of the redhead, Mary agrees for Sabrina sounding slightly dubious, "Right." Searching Lily's face she says, "He's a Ravenclaw," seeing the mulish glint come to her friend's emerald eyes; the girl quickly follows, "Everyone knows they're private people-that boy could have easily been a Slytherin the way he looks at people sometimes..." Sighing, Mary clasps her hand in Lily's and tells her with great earnestness. "It's only first year, soon you'll feel like Gryffindor's your family-like we do, and Snape...well, he won't seem so important."

Tugging her hand back, Lily stands up. "What are you trying to get at here?" She demands.

Sabrina picks up where Mary left off. "Look Lily, house solidarity is really important; that's all." She explains.

Eyes wide, Lily finally realizes what her friends are telling her. "You-" taking a step back, she readies to run. "You think I was  _wrong_ to punch Potter for Severus." Disgusted as they gaze down at their laps, Lily shouts, "What's  _wrong_ with this place!? Houses before people? I can't believe it!" In a whirlwind of red hair, the girl is gone.

* * *

Meandering the halls, Severus gazes at it all as if he's never seen it before. That's it then, Dumbledore will send a letter to the Evans and he'll officially stay with them for (at least) the summer. A tiny smile pulling at his lips, Severus feels a mix of euphoria and slowly dawning anger. He's relieved that he won't be going to father or any of his mother's relatives; but...how could Sirius do this? Didn't they just agree that they'd stay friends? Keep their truce? Petering in his walk Severus drops his stare to the stone ground and scowls. His yearmates were right, he shouldn't have trusted Sirius; he wouldn't again.

"Sev!" Turning, the dark haired boy looks to see his friend.

"Lily," he grins, but it quickly turns to a frown when he realizes her face is tear streaked and red. "Are you okay?" He asks fretfully.

The girl smiles and nods. "It's-I punched Potter and-"

"You  _punched_ him!" Severus exclaims eyes going unusually wide.

Her brows furrowing at the interruption, Lily bobs her head. "Yeah-in the nose and then Sabrina and Mary told me I shouldn't have 'cause he's in the same house, but-"

"Wait!" Severus snaps, "Why'd you punch Potter anyway?"

Lily makes an anguished noise and clutches Severus's face. "For you, you idiot!" She yells.

Staring into furious green eyes, Severus can only whisper. "Oh, I-thanks Lils," after an awkward second of silence, he adds uncertainly, "I think?"

Some of the madness drains from Lily's posture and features. "Your welcome," she replies.

The two smile at one another, they'll have forever to talk; but, for now it's enough just to know they're with one person who will do anything for them.


	16. You can do Better

When Severus eventually finds himself back at his dorm; he stops. Everything that has happened today feels surreal, maybe even  _not_ real at all. Struggling to pick out details of the day, Severus recalls Potter's disgusting sneer, the unusually grave eyes of the headmaster and finally, finally he recalls the warmth of Lily's not quite gentle hold of his face. Fingers tracing the side of his face, he smiles just barely; he's always enjoyed the little touches from Lily-the hand holding, shoulder bumping and occasional kiss to the cheek, this, though, feels more serious than all of those. She had touched him not to show affection, but to  _prove_ her affection for him; to prove he meant something to her.

Shaking his head at his ridiculous behavior, he murmurs to the waiting knocker, "Go on,"

The metal eagles blinks at him before inquiring " _If I drink, I die. If I eat, I live. What am I?_ "

Severus's lips ghost in a smile, he knows the answer. "A fire," he answers confidently. The knocker swings the door open and winks at him. Slightly perturbed at the action, it barely registers to Severus that his yearmates are calling for him from across the room.

Hurrying to him, Charity shouts, "Severus!" for a second time; actually drawing the skinny boy's attention to her for once.

"Oh, Hello Charity," he greets; moving away from the door so it can close.

The girl of ringlet blond hair frowns at him. "That's all you have to say?" She demands.

Staring at her obviously upset face, Severus slowly meanders his gaze through his roommates and the girls in his year; they all wear similar expressions-but, something of Mark's unhappy appearance seems...off (smug? But why?). Taking a step towards the small group, Severus pays careful mind to the older students watching from around their books, up from their homework and peaking at him while they speak to their mates. "What else would you have me say?" He inquires.

This brings a grumbling from Marlene who gets a swift elbow from Greta as Charity speaks. "Where were you? We haven't seen you since Transfiguration when-you know," she says, making a funny little face as she twists her hands in a way that probably means something; if he cared to decipher, that is.

"I went to the headmaster," he starts and this brings an eager nod not only from the blond girl, but from Robert and Joshua. "Then, I ran into Lily." This deepens Mark's frown and makes his yearmates glance between one another. Crossing his arms, Severus scowls back at them. "What?" He demands, "D'you think just because Potter was an arse and told the whole world something that was  _my_ business, I wouldn't want to be friends with Lily any longer?"

The girl hesitates and Joshua clears his throat to speak for Charity. "It's not that Sev,"

"Severus!" He snaps, no one but Lily will ever get to call him that (not again).

Joshua's eyes flash; yet he nods and pushes forth. "She-she  _punched_ Potter," which brings a number of titters from the older years around the commons, "and that wasn't good." He finishes lamely.

Severus rolls his eyes. "Please," he grumbles, "Potter's thrown his fair of punches at  _me,_ he deserved to get what was coming to him."

"I-" Joshua begins, but then he quickly thins his lips and shakes his head; obviously unable of to find a way to get what he wants across.

"What did the headmaster say?" Mark asks.

Severus glares at him, the blond has no right to know. "He already knew of my status," Severus lies, "I asked him to keep it between us and that was why McGonagall did not know."

"If your an-an-" Marlene stammers.

Cutting in, Severus says quite forcefully; ignoring the way he chokes on the word, "Orphan. I am one," he admits, "But, I have arrangements made for the summer and hopefully-the rest of my schooling."

"That's good Severus," Joshua grins.

"It is indeed," Severus agrees. "Now, I'm rather tired; are we done with this interrogation?" He inquires.

Robert laughs, always quick to find humor, "I wouldn't call it an interrogation, mate-more like a-a concerned inquiry." He smiles.

Quirking his own lips in a smirk, Severus brushes past them all and goes quickly up the stairs to his dorm. Falling into his bed, he waves his wand; enclosing the curtains around him and casts a silencing charm. Burying his face into his pillow, Severus begins to sob over wounds opened anew.

* * *

Quietly closed off behind his curtains, Sirius glares down at his red and gold bedsheets under his toes. He doesn't deserve to be here, no, he's not brave or loyal or good or-he tosses his head roughly side to side. No, he  _is_ better; maybe not by much, but he is. He _has_  to be. Yet, the incident in the hall after dinner comes to mind...

He'd accidentally run into Narcissa (or maybe she'd been waiting for him). But, she'd lunged at him as soon as she saw him and hugged him with great show and praised him loud enough for all within ear-shot to hear.

"Even with your deplorable sorting, you just might make a respectable Black yet!" She had crooned.

Sirius had stared at her in dumb silence. What did he say to that? What  _could_ he say? Obviously, someone had figured out where the source of Jame's insult had come from and it had quickly spread through school until it reached his cousin. In the end, Sirius did the smart thing (maybe the first smart thing he's ever done) and he walked away from his cousin; not daring to look back even as she and her friends heckled him.

"Sirius?" Remus calls from behind his curtains.

Bringing his knees to his chest, Sirius mumbles, "What do you want Remy?"

There's a beat of silence. "Can we talk?" He asks.

"Sure, it's not like anyone else is jumping to," he grumbles.

Remus pokes his head in, then after a quick look about; crawls in fully. Settling with his toes just shy of touching the dark-haired boy's, he says, "You should apologize to Severus."

"Why?" He questions glumly, "It's not like he'll even listen to it."

Remus nods. "No," he agrees, "But, you keep at it; be the stubborn Gryffindor you are and don't give up."

"James will  _hate_ me," he reminds the tawny-haired youth.

A dark shadow passes over the werewolf's eyes. "I don't know if we want to be spending time with James right now," he sniffs.

Curiously, Sirius cocks his head. "Why not? He's our friend isn't he?"

The other Gryffindor shrugs. "I don't know if I want him for a friend-" looking almost sadly to the red curtains hiding them from the world, he whispers, "How can I when he does something so-so  _vile_ just because he doesn't like a person?"

Tucking his chin behind his knobby knees, Sirius muffled voice rings out, "The rest of the house-and half the school hates me; I don't think I could deal with my  _friend_ and  _roommate_ hating me on top of everything else."

Remus seems to consider this, tapping a steady tempo on the bed, he suggests to Sirius, "We don't have to  _not_  be friends with James...we could distance ourselves enough that people don't group us all together any longer."

The youth gazes at his friend. "Why do you want to help me so much? Why do you even want to be friends with me still? I'm no better than James." He tells him quite viciously.

"You aren't!" The werewolf argues, "No, you feel  _sorry_ about what you did; James...he feels justified, you know? He thinks he's doing a service to the world by exposing Snape to everyone's scrutiny." He elaborates, looking expectantly to Sirius.

Exhaling, he ruffles his hair with a hand. "I'll follow your lead in this," he decides, "You get people better than I do."

"It's not that I get people better, Sirius, it's that I know how to put myself in their places-something you just haven't learned yet." He remarks, smiling.

Grinning back nervously, Sirius lifts his head; staring his friend straight in the eye he whispers, "You'll show me? I-I don't want something like this to happen again."

Putting a hand on his friend's shoulder, Remus nods with a serious expression. "I will," he agrees.

Sirius feels marginally better about himself and Remus finds relief that he won't be alone in this unfamiliar new world.

 


	17. Let's see how far the Bullet lies

After the-the "incident", his fellow Ravenclaws are much more careful with him; keep asking him if he's "okay" and "wants to talk". He knows they only have the best of intentions (and an insatiable curiosity), but there's only so much he can take before his ability to roll with it becomes non-existent.

"You're awfully quiet Severus," Josh remarks, turning away from the chatter he and the rest of his roommates have engaged in about Ravenclaw's last quidditch game.

"Hm? Severus murmurs, looking away from the loose string on his quilt. "Oh yes-" he says,"-I prefer football to quidditch, so, you know," he says waving a hand at the silent group. "Don't mind me," he tells them.

"Are you sure?" Mark asks, "Is anything wrong?" He implores a little anxiously. Patience gone, Severus gets up from his bed fuming in silence and stomps from the room.

"Severus!" Robert yells after him, but the black-haired boy does not stop; the only indication he gives to hearing the other boy is a swift jerk of his arm signaling them not to get up (or follow). Stalking out of Ravenclaw, Severus only knows one place he can go where no one will ask him stupid questions, look at him strangely or analyze everything he does. Taking a sharp turn into a corridor, he makes one wide sweep to ensure no one has followed him; he nods in satisfaction when he sees no one. Soon, he finds a familiar door and opens it without hesitation. What he sees inside nearly makes him run away. It's Black. But, before he can leave, the larger boy's staring at him.

"Oh," he whispers, "I-" he gets up and awkwardly offers, "I can leave."

"Sit down, Black." Severus orders, " _You_ were here first," he remind the other student, "Besides, this room's big enough for two." The Gryffindor shuffles his feet for a moment, gazing at him warily before doing so. He settles with his knees pulled close to his chest, so he can rest a book-a book on the Holocaust (he feels marginally proud at this) on the top of his knees and read easily with his head tilted backwards.

Going up to the bookcase, he takes one at random and settles down on the blue carpet so he can read on his stomach, while still comfortable warm due to the orange flames from the little fireplace. Kicking his legs idly from time to time, Severus and Sirius read in tense silence; only daring to peek at one another when they think the other boy won't notice. Eventually, once he's re-read the same sentence for the seventh time, does Sirius dare to speak. "So," he begins; earning himself a raised eyebrow from the Ravenclaw. "Um, I know I shoulda said this weeks ago; but, since I couldn't around James and you wouldn't look at me..." he fades off and shakes his shaggy head of hair. "I'm sorry," he apologizes.

Propping the side of his face on his fist so he may meet the larger boy's gaze more easily, Severus considers what he's said. "I told you that in confidence," he reminds Sirius.

Expectedly, the bigger boy flushes an embarrassed red and returns to the pages of his book for a moment. "I know," he whispers, "I don't expect you to forgive me-don't really  _want_ you to," he finishes in a murmur.

The last part draws Severus's attention. "You  _don't_ want me to forgive you, Sirius?" He remarks idly, biting his tongue when realizes he's used the Gryffindor's first name.

The other boy perks at the use of his name, though. "I deserve for you to hate me," he declares, "I wasn't a good friend  _at all_."

Toying with a strand of his locks, Severus briefly looks the dark-haired boy's way before gazing into the hearth's weak flames. "It wasn't very loyal of you, I'll admit." he agrees, "In fact, you might be more of a Slytherin than I first thought."

The Gryffindor bristles. "Don't  _say_ that," he growls, "I'm  _not_ Slytherin, I'm  _not._ "

Seeing he's touched something he shouldn't have, Severus backs off. "Okay," he relents, "You aren't."

Sirius relaxes marginally and inquires, "So what brought you here?"

Smirking, Severus takes a chance and says, "The same reason you came, for a little peace."

The larger boy smiles back. "Your house lookin' at you funny too, huh?" He sighs, looking a little despondent and maybe just as crazed as a moment before.

Turning a page in his book idly, the black-haired boy comments, "Though, I suspect they are looking at us oddly for different reasons."

"It's no less irritating," the Gryffindor quips, "Besides, James just as bullheaded as ever, thinks he can win everyone over to  _his_ view on you any day now."

The Ravenclaw snorts, "How's that going for him?" He sneers.

"So-so," Sirius shrugs. "Lily's a staunch supporter for you," he imparts to the other.

A wistful look comes to the black-haired youth, "That she is," he concurs. "But...you aren't helping Potter?"

Stretching out his toes, Sirius smirks. "I'm here, aren't I?"

Severus gives a bark of laughter and with one last quick grin, the two boy falls into semi-comfortable silence and read for a time. Once his stomach begins to grumble, Sirius knows it's time for dinner. Getting up, he slips his shoes back on and flattens out the wrinkles in his robe. When he notices Severus has no intention of leaving anytime soon, he tells the other boy, "I  _am_ sorry, I just-"

"Save it Black," the Ravenclaw cuts in coldly, "I don't want to hear any excuse you've convinced yourself to believe as to-you  _told_ him and that's all that matters."

Helpless, Sirius frowns. "I screwed up," he whispers, "But, I want to fix it."

Black glimpses in the corner of Severus's eye for all of a second. "Prove it then," he demands, "Show me you aren't going to be swayed by Potter any longer and that you shan't go out of your way to taunt or fight me."

Gleeful at the chance to prove himself, Sirius nods. "I'll do it," he agrees, "Just watch."

Hiding a smirk with the heel of his hand, Severus's muffled voice carries. "I will," he mumbles.

Leaving, Sirius feels lighter in body and mood than he has in days; grinning, he can hardly give Remus or James a sufficient answer for his happiness when he sits down for dinner.

* * *

Staring down blankly at the pages of his book, Severus wonders what he's doing. Black betrayed him once, why would he give him a second chance that would allow him to do it again? Is he going to turn out like mother? Allowing father's apologies to wash over him as truth when he promises to stop drinking, gambling, and hitting them? He can't. He'll break just like mother.

Flexing his fingers, the Ravenclaw feels his gut twist and roll. He won't be mother. He won't be father. He will be  _Severus._  Severus will watch Black, watch for the slightest indication that he shan't follow through on his promise and he will then forget him. Forget that he ever befriended the Gryffindor, forget that he ever gave him that second chance. Flipping back to the first page of his book, Severus begins to read in earnest. He wants to pretend the last hour hadn't just happened and what better way to do that than lose himself in book?

Sighing, he turns a page. He needs to talk to Lily later.


	18. I'd Like to Believe in all the Possibilities

They sit nearly shoulder to shoulder, occasionally skipping an appropriate stone across the waters of the lake. They're silent for a longtime. Rubbing her hands up and down her goose-pimpled arms, Lily finally turns to see the pensive profile of her best friend. "What's wrong Sev?" She asks.

The boy shrugs, but with a sharp dig in the ribs; he turns to scowl. "Nothing," he grumbles.

Smiling just slightly, the redhead leans in on her hand and whispers, "I know you better than that Sev."

He averts his galaxy worthy gaze then, eyes focused solely on some spot in the dark waters of the school's lake, he tells her, "I ran into Black."

Perking up, Lily is tense and wary. "Oh?" she prompts her friend.

"He said he was sorry," the boy mumbles.

Searching Severus for any indication for what happened, she asks almost fearful, "What did  _you_ say, Sev?"

He returns her gaze to her, but his eyes are more distant than they've ever been before. Fingers letting go of the stone they gripped, Severus utters, "I forgave him."

* * *

Squished together in a cushioned window seat, their heads bowed close; Remus waits in impatient silence for Sirius to say something. When the other boy continues to fiddle with a loose button on his shirt, the werewolf prods the other boy's arm. "So?" He demands, "What did you want to talk about?"

Sirius looks up at him then, all at once searching and knowing as he gazes into his eyes. "I saw Severus," he murmurs.

"What?!" Remus yelps, here they were almost three weeks later and the two hadn't looked at each other once; but, now they'd actually come together? Madam Pince glares at them, and the other Gryffindor smiles sheepishly as he curls a bit more comfortably in the alcove. "So you saw him," the tawny-haired boy begins, "What happened?"

The other boy shifts his gaze to the world outside the castle's window. "Not much," he admits.

"Oh," Remus replies doing his best not to sound too glum.

"But..." the shaggy haired boy shakes his head. "But, I told him I'm sorry."

"That's good Sirius!" The werewolf declares, doing his best to lift his friend's spirits.

Countenance crumpling, the dark-haired boy breathes, "And he forgave me."

Studying his roommate's obviously distraught features, the best the other Gryffindor can do is frown. "I don't understand," he sighs.

* * *

"Why?" Lily demands furious on her friend's behalf, "Why did you forgive him?"

Severus stills in a way that frightens her. He begins to breath quick and faint, pulling his legs to his chest; he rests his chin in the groove between his knees. "Lily," he whispers, "You're my best friend, But I-" he swallows and studiously stares at his feet. "But, I need more friends."

Confounded and unsettled by her childhood friend's round about ways, the redhead can only shake her head. "Okay," she relents, "Wanting more friends is a good thing, but what about your roommates? Or the Ravenclaw girls?" She implores hesitantly.

The black-haired boy scoffs. "A bunch of nosey prats the lot of them!" He shouts, effortlessly snagging a stone from the shore beneath them and tossing it in the water where it lands with nary a sound.

Sighing, Lily rests back on her arms and asks again, "Why did you forgive Sirius?" Hoping the directness would bring her a usable answer.

The boy hunches more in himself. "I-" licking his lips he whispers, "I know  _I'd_ want to be forgiven."

This alerts the girl, there's something bigger going on behind those fathomless eyes than what's at hand. "What's going on in that big head of yours Sev?" She murmurs. Shadow-black eyes find hers, but she cannot read them; so must wait.

* * *

"He-he just forgave me!" Sirius roars, "He didn't want anything or-or-"

Slapping a hand over the much too loud Gryffindor, Remus sends another apologetic look the way of Pince an glares at Sirius. "Quiet down, Sirius," he orders. Behind his hand, the other boy nods. After another look, the werewolf takes his hand back. "So," he says, "He forgave you, isn't that what you wanted?"

The other Gryffindor scowls. "I-yes," he agrees, "But not like that!" He exclaims, "It was-was too  _easy_!"

The smaller boy shakes his head. "What did you want from his Siri?" He questions, "Did you want him to make you suffer through some humiliation?"

The shaggy haired youth looks at him with eyes not unlike those of a kicked puppy. "I don't know," he admits, "But, at least if he had I'd feel like it was all fair..."

Remus hums. "I think," he mumbles, "You shouldn't dwell on it. He probably wanted to be friends again just as much as you did," he comments.

Sirius, though, isn't listening. "What if he's going to get me back  _this_ way? Have me thinking were friends again just so he can humiliate me in front of  _everybody_!" He imagines, eyes large and frightened.

The werewolf rolls his eyes. "Stop it Sirius," he hushes, "You'll drive yourself up a wall and then what? Your paranoia will make you do something stupid and Severus will be gone forever-for  _good._ "

Miserable, the Gryffindor student plaintively mumbles, "So, you think he means it?" At Remus's almost hesitant glance, Sirius needles, "That he really, truly, totally, forgives me?"

Remus fights the urge to growl.

* * *

Severus shies away at answering, it's just a  _feeling_ after all-and if there's anything the Ravenclaw knows to be truth is that feelings are lies and irrelevant. But, at this moment, he knows no other way to describe what seems important. Looking into Lily's impossibly green eyes, he imparts to his very best friend. "Did you ever just get a feeling about something?"

Slowly, Lily does nod. "I have," she agrees.

Sighing in something akin to relief, Severus gazes far, far away insides himself as he explains. "Somehow," pausing, he begins, "I  _know_ everything could have been different and I...and I can  _feel_ that were was more than one way everything could have gone and I-" gulping, he desperately searches the girl's befuddle face for any sign of understanding. "And I  _see_ myself doing something just as- _worse,_ than what Sirius has done and you won't-" he fights back the urge to sob and Lily can  _tell_ and she's hugging him so close now that Severus does cry out. " _You won't forgive me_!"

The boy and girl cling to each other with a fear for something that could have been (could still be). Tear tracks on both their faces, Lily slowly pulls away only to fall into the galaxy of Severus's eyes. "I see," she warbles, "I can see what you mean." Fingers tight and unyielding in their grip on Severus's she utters, " _No one_ should ever think they aren't worth forgiveness, that nobody wants to save them."

Severus exhales. "I was afraid you wouldn't get it," he tells her, face tinges the slightest of pinks.

Lily laughs. "So did I there for a minute."

They stare at each other, Severus's face twist and he looks away. "Do you truly think he meant it?" Lily meanders her gaze to the waters and ponders the options.

* * *

"He  _does_ forgive you Sirius!" Remus snaps, being the one that finally gets them kicked out of the library.

Once out in the halls, Sirius glowers at him. "Good going, Remy," he grumbles.

Exasperated, the werewolf stands there for all of a minute as the larger boy walks off. " _What do you mean_?!" He demands, hurrying to catch up after his fellow Gryffindor. " _You_ were loud  _first_!"

* * *

She could tell him no. She could crush what little trust he still holds in humanity and ruin him forever. That, is something Lily won't do. Can't do. So, turning her face fully to Severus's anxious one; she grins radiantly. "Of course he means it, Sev!" She proclaims.

His face is washed of all doubt and replaces with jubilance. "I'm relieved you think so, too." He says.

Squeezing her friend's hand, the girl leans in and with earnestness only found in youth, she mumbles, "Of course, Sev, I'll always trust your judgment on things."

They smile.


	19. Don't Carry the World upon your Shoulders

"Severus!" is the first thing he hears when he returns to his dorm room, after having gone out to see Lily early that morning (skipping breakfast in the process). Blinking as the boys all look his way, the dark-haired youth scowls and ignores them to pack his satchel for class that day. "Severus? Are you okay?" Joshua inquires, coming to set a hand on the other student's shoulder. Severus shrugs it off and stuffs his potions book into his bag, paying no mind to what he's jamming it into. Frowning, Joshua puts his rat Jugg down on the bed and repeats a bit irritated, "Severus!"

Black eyes ablaze, Severus swerves around and shoves the other boy to the ground. "What the bloody hell do none of you get!? I don't  _want_ your coddling!" He shouts at them. He takes a step to move past the stunned Ravenclaw when one of the other boys jumps him.

"You utter prat!" Robert howls, knocking Severus down on his side; locked against the stone floor underneath him. Punching Severus in the nose; Robert causes it to spray blood all over his robes as he hits the writhing boy again. "All we've done is try to be you're friend! And here you go hurting Josh! He's been making excuses for you long enough, I think you're just a goddamn arse who doesn't care about anyone!"

Weakly trying to get up his arms up over his face mid-panic attack, Severus faintly hears Mark whisper to Otto, "Go get the prefect." Followed by the sound of leather soles slapping stone floor. The black-haired youth feels Robert rip away at his arms and try to land another fist; but, Severus is well versed in protecting himself and simply seizes up more.

"Merlin!" Someone screams from across the room, "You get off him this instant Robert!" Kingsley yells, Severus feels the weight being lifted off him and peeks an eye open to see the struggling brunette being pulled off.

"He deserves it! He's an arsehole! He hit Josh!" Robert hollers in justification as the teenager narrows his eyes.

"I don't care, if you have a problem; get  _me_ or one of the professors," The sixth year snaps, shoving Robert towards a bed to cool down. Kingsley then comes over and helps Joshua up from where he sits shocked on the floor. "You okay there kid?"

Eyes wide, the dark-haired boy nods; face flickering with something like disappointment. "I-yeah, I'm good." Bobbing his head in acceptance, the teenager comes and stands just above Severus; staring down at him with indecision.

"You know, Snape, I've been hearing some pretty nasty rumors from the Gryffindors for the last couple weeks-I'm beginning to wonder if they have a point." He makes this comment with a breezy tone, but a barb is hidden within it.

Wiping away the sticky blood from beneath his nose, Severus stays where he is and chuckles a bit. "Thank Potter for those rumors-he  _hates_ me," the younger Ravenclaw explains.

The Prefect taps his chin. "You know, I wonder why." Severus averts his eyes an refuses to speak. Kingsley sighs. "You look like a right mess, need a hand?" He inquires, offering one.

Ignoring it, Severus gets up on shaky feet and smirks. "I've been worse," he proclaims; finding amusement in his private joke-one he's only ever found funny, it seems to hold true if the way the older boy's hand drops and the frightened gleam in his eye is anything to go by. Wavering only in his first step, Severus says, "If you'll excuse me, I need to get cleaned up before I'm late for class."

"Wait, you should go to the infirmary-make sure you're nose isn't broken," Joshua tells him sounding slightly anxious from where he sits petting Jugg.

Touching the pained appendage, Severus crinkles it. Nope. Not broken. "I'm fine, it's not broken," he replies walking to the bathroom; never once realizing how very odd and terrifying he appears to his fellow Ravenclaws.

* * *

It's just before lunch, Severus hopes if he eats quick enough; he'll be able to stop at the library and pick up a new book before flying, however, Professor Flitwick has different plans for him. "Ah, mister Snape!" The tiny man greets, "I'd like to talk to you if you don't mind."

Severus pauses and stares down at the small man. "I don't-I'm just stopping to get a quick bite, there's a paper I haven't finished and I-"

"I'm sorry," professor Flitwick cuts in, "You've misunderstood me. You will come and talk with me  _now_." He orders, an expression unusually fierce upon his face.

"Of course," The boy whispers, following after the man as he leads them down the winding halls of Hogwarts and to his office. Coming in to the office, Severus tops and awes at the back wall that is stuffed to the brim with books and then glances to the left of the door where the hearth is nicely placed with two armchairs and a small sofa in front of it.

"Over here Severus," Flitwick calls from the right of the room, where his very large desk is placed; frowning at how the stacked books nearly block his view of his head of house, Severus sits down in the regal chair in front of the desk. The man smiles at him. "I have cupcakes if you're interested," he offers.

"No thank you professor," Severus murmurs, "I don't care for sweet things;" which is a complete lie, he very much likes taffy and licorice.

The small smile wavers on the little man. "Severus," he sighs, "What am I to do with you?"

Tense and wary, Severus whispers, "What do you mean sir?"

Professor Flitwick's face contorts with a multitude of upset emotions and says with great exasperation; "What do I mean? Severus, child, almost all I've heard this year is  _negative_ things about you-when I hear about you at all that is, you're much too quiet."

This stuns Severus, negative? Hasn't he done  _anything_ right? Or is he-he's just  _bad,_ what else can be expected from the son of a disowned woman and a brutal man, when he grew up on the wrong side of  _everything_. Shoulders hunched in on himself, Severus stares resolute at his lap expecting the very worse. "I'm sorry professor," he mumbles.

The man exhales. "I-Severus, my door's  _always_ open, I've done my best to make this abundantly clear to all students; yet, you still refuse to even have a civil  _exchange_ with me or any professor," he tells him.

Head snapping up, the boy with fathomless eyes snaps, "I have too! With the headmaster when-" his teeth close with a click and his lips lock into nothing but pencil lines.

Staring at him in a sad sort of way, Flitwick nods. "On that note, no one has figured out why you were so set on keeping your mother's death secret." The student's eyes drop back to his lap and with great intensity glares at his knees. "And today...shoving poor mister Hilliard for simply being worried about you, I can't say I know why you refuse to make friends with the other Ravenclaws; but do with Gryffindors-ones who obviously don't have your best interest at heart-"

"He said he was sorry," Severus mutters, feeling a need to defend Sirius just a little (and Lily too, because  _she's_ never betrayed him).

The small man stares at him for a moment. "Even so," he continues with a quiet clearing of his throat, "None of that worries me nearly as much at this instant as your remark to mister Shacklebolt; 'I've been worse'." Would you care to explain to me what you mean?" The professor inquires earnestly.

Severus crosses his arms and looks at the wall of books longingly. "I don't know what you're talking about, obviously you heard wrong," he sneers.

"I know you're a smart boy Severus-very smart in fact; this book proves it," gaze flickering to the desk at the sound of a book being pushed across it, the black-haired boy sees his potions book.

Snatching it back, he tucks it into his bag. "That's nothing," the Ravenclaw grunts.

"That's a lie and we both know it!" Professor Flitwick squeaks, "I've spoken with professor Slughorn; he says it's remarkable for a first year to know how to rework a potions recipe to make it easier or even better!" When the child refuses to look at him again, he whispers pleadingly, "Do you know the rumors I've heard about you child? They say you're aiming to become a  _dark wizard,_ I don't know who got this notion or how; but..."

Severus's head lifts immediately, a furious glint to his eyes. "Why can't anyone ever leave me alone?" He demands, "All I want is to get out of here alive and maybe get a job doing potions."

Flitwick puts his little hand on his student's thin one, he knows it can't be very reassuring to a lost boy such as this one; but he hopes it helps. "You  _can_ have those things, Severus, if you just made yourself a bit more straightforward..."

"I won't," Severus asserts with a venom. "Being who I am has kept me alive a lot longer than I could have been, I'm not changing for everyone's peace of mind-I have Lily and maybe Sirius for friends; I don't need anyone else to like me."

Retracting his touch, the Ravenclaw head of house stares at the boy for a long pause. "I think," he murmurs, "You need to apologize to your roommates and tell them nicely that you don't need them fussing over you."

Severus's unreadable eyes gaze at him for a moment. "I will," he agrees, "Now, I have flying in ten minutes; may I leave sir?"

"Of course," the diminutive professor sighs, "Just...just don't hesitate to search me out if you ever need me."

The boy's blank face doesn't change. "Yes professor," he says and leaves.

Staring at the empty doorway, Filius Flitwick wonders what Severus Snape will be someday (he pleads with every force above him that the boy disproves his doubts and accomplishes what he wants).

 


	20. You were Always Gold to Me

Lily moves quietly through her dorm, the rest of her roommates sleep on oblivious to her getting ready. Since the day she punched James Potter, she'd stopped getting on with her roommates. She knew it wasn't their fault, at the beginning they'd still tried to talk to her; include her, yet as time passed, they realized she wanted nothing to do with them. What happened then? They turned mean. Lily should have expected as such, they saw it as a slight to them personally (and maybe it is), but it was towards their belief; their belief that  _humiliating_ someone was okay. _  
_

At first it'd just been spiteful little things; charms that made her shoes too small, missing quills, waterlogged books-things that were easy enough to fix, however...things didn't stay as such. Soon, ink was spilled on her books; homework would go missing, they'd hide her underwear and trip her up in the halls. The boys had picked up on it now and James, he was _gleeful_ ; he wouldn't have been able to ever get back at her because Lily was a _girl_ and boys knew better than to get in a fight with a girl. To have the entirety of the first year girls (and a few second years) getting even with her on his behalf (or so it seemed) must be very satisfying, she thinks.

Sometimes, Lily would reflect back on the days before that horrible class...how splendid things were, how she was nearly closer to her yearmates than she was to her own sister and then she'd wonder what it would have been like if-no, she had and she would punch James again if the situation arose; Severus was her  _best_ friend. Her...only friend it seemed.

Sighing soundlessly, Lily tucks the last of her books into her bag and tip-toes down the stairs and out of the common room; only to find Severus dozing against the wall beside it. The redhead's lips quirk fondly and she feels more certain in her decision than she has in a while, would her roommates do such a thing? Seek her out, look at her like she's the only thing in the world when they're together? She doesn't think so.

Crouching down, she shakes the too sharp shoulder. "Sev," she whispers, "Severus get up." One black eye winks open; quickly followed by the second and then Severus stands in a single smooth motion. "What are you doing out here so early?" Lily asks curiously as the Ravenclaw situates his satchel on his shoulder.

The boy shrugs. "What about you, Lils?" He deflects.

Not nearly as cool as her friend, the Gryffindor averts her eyes and wrings at the strap of her bag worriedly. "I-my housemates and I...after, after the incident, I-well, were in a bit of a feud I guess you'd say." She explains helplessly.

She doesn't see Severus, but Lily knows he's exhaled and his shoulders aren't as proud as he usually holds them. "I guess we have something new in common..."

Head jerking up, the redhead frowns at the blank face and stormy black eyes. "What do you mean Sev?" She demands.

He shrugs a bit stiffly and in her studies, Lily sees some light bruising to his nose. "Oh Sev! What happened?" She cries, fingers flitting out to brush over the dark spots on his white skin.

The skinny boy winces and pulls away. "Just a bit of a row with my roommates, I don't think we'll be on speaking terms for a while..." He fades off, his features settling into something akin to melancholy, Lily's sure she's worn the look just as much recently.

Blinking back tears, Lily chuckles; "like old times, eh? The two freaks in a sea of normal perfection."

Severus halts with great suddenness and spins around; eyes wild with something terrifying as his fingers dig into the flesh of her arms with surprising strength. "Don't  _say_ that! We  _are_ like everybody else! We are..." his lips tug into a vicious frown and Lily's sure she can see a sheen of tears on those fathomless eyes.

Reaching out with little thought, she pulls the other eleven year old into a hug and sways with his too thin body resting against her. "Of course we are Sev," she soothes, "We are..."

His fingers dig into her shoulder blades as takes ragged breaths. "God Lily, this was supposed to be our _chance_! We were supposed to show the world that we  _weren't_ strange..."

Lily's mouth opens just slightly, too many different words trying to form on her tongue to talk at first. Letting Severus hide his face in her hair for a time, Lily eventually pulls him away to see a wet sheen on his gaunt cheeks. A new fire lit in her breast and a excitement barely contained in her eyes; the girl grins wickedly.

"Who says our chance is over?"

The Ravenclaw blinks. "I-" his lips curve broodingly downwards.

"Uh-uh Sev!" Lily giggles, poking his cheek. "No frowning! We're giving up before this is even over!" Spinning away and throwing her hands up in the halls in giddy ecstasy, she shouts, "We have six more years!" Dancing her way back to the speechless boy, Lily laughs. "C'mon Sev! We'll show everyone! We can be friends until the end! It'll be us against the world!"

"I..." but words fail the normally quick-witted youth.

Greens eyes mischievous and warm, Lily bows and stretches her hand out to Severus. "Dance with me," she murmurs.

Hesitantly, Severus's gaze meanders the long, tall halls. "What if someone sees us?" He questions.

Lifting her eye to meet his, the redhead takes his hand. "Who cares Sev?" She asks. Positioning them so he will be leading her, Lily leans in and mumbles; "Dance with me Sev,"

Taking a hand back, Severus mutters, "Hold on." Curiously, the girl watches him pull out his wand and wave it with an intelligible whisper. The Bee Gees, a favorite of Petunia's, begins to play all over from the hall; bubbling with more giggles than she has in nearly a month, Lily's forced to lean against Severus for a moment.

"It's brilliant!" She praises, straightening herself out only to see one of her best friend's wide grin. "C'mon let's dance before the professors stop us!"

Hands breaking away, Lily fears only for a moment Severus is backing out on her; then, he bows putting a barely there dry kiss on her hand. "Of course, m'lady."

Radiant with joy, the two begin to dance to the music; for now, it's only them and Lily thinks it's all that she'll ever need.


	21. My Eyes Locked with the Boy on the Other Side

Sitting down at the farthest end of the Ravenclaw table, Severus hesitates in taking a bowl of porridge along with a slice of toast. For the past month he's done his best to avoid the table; snatching a bread role or piece of fruit when possible, but Lily's beginning to fret at his thinness (and Sirius, and the professors). Taking small bites like he remembers doing back home with his mother and father as not to upset his stomach with too much food at once, he barely notices as a third or fourth year sits down across from him. After about his fifth bite, Severus puts the spoon down no longer interested in the porridge; finally looking up as he reaches for his pumpkin juice, he startles enough to slosh the drink.

"Hullo," a funny looking white-haired boy with crossed eyes greets.

Clutching his drink in both hands, Severus opens and closes his mouth several times before murmuring, "Hullo."

The older boy smiles dreamily. "I have seen you before, but you used to sit with the other first years," he says.

Defensive, Severus snaps; "So? Why don't you sit with what? The fourth years? The third?"

The boy stares at Severus as if he's an enigma. "If you haven't noticed," he murmurs, "I  _never_ sit with anyone; too odd, you see."

Severus gapes fully embarrassed, "You-re-" he chokes, "You're the one the upper-years always..." Severus shuts his mouth. This is the boy who believes in _fairy-tales_.

The white-blond haired youth brushes back his hair and fingers the metal shape hanging from his neck. "Yes," he agrees, "I'm the one who says  _The Deathly Hallows_ are real, as well as a number of unproven magical creatures." Taking a bite of his own breakfast, Xenophillius smiles. "I think, you are interesting Snape."

Wary, Severus keeps his hands bellow the table so the other can't see how strongly he's gripping his wand and demands, "Why's that?"

Putting aside his spoon, the other's cross-eyed gaze intensifies. "Do you know," he starts, "I can't recall name a single Ravenclaw-or any other student, who's so adamantly refused the company of his house in favor of another's?"

Scowling, Severus hisses, "I was put in Ravenclaw because of my enduring traits; not because I wanted friends in Ravenclaw."

The older student nods sagely. "Of course," he concurs, "You are simply a curious case, Snape;" holding out a hand to shake-which Severus reluctantly takes, the other tells him, "I shan't judge you on your choices if you ever want to talk. You are...refreshingly open-minded."

Frowning, the younger Ravenclaw releases Xenophilius's hand. "I-thank you?" He concludes watching the elder rise up from his seat.

"Excuse me, but I promised I'd help Kettleburn catch a Niffler for today's lesson." He imparts to Severus before leaving.

For a long time after, Severus stares at where the blond sat; maybe he still had hope for a friendship in Ravenclaw yet? Or at the very least, someone who was as uncompromising as himself when it came to being who they were.

* * *

Lily doesn't know if she can possibly feel anymore alone when she notices that everyone who sits down ensures she's left to a little box of space of her own. Blinking back tears as she spreads marmalade across her toast; the redhead takes a deep breath. She's  _not_ going to cry, she's  _not_ alone...she has Severus and...

"Hey Lily!" Sirius greets, collapsing into the empty spot across from her, dragging Remus down with him.

Looking at the two boys with wide eyes, the girl suspiciously glances about the table (no one looks at her) and then to the doorway of the Great Hall. "...where's James?" She inquires.

"Sick," Remus answers pleasantly as he picks up a bit of ham. "Peter too, poor blokes; they were throwing up all night."

"Yeah!" Sirius concurs with an interesting gleam to his eyes; it makes Lily wonder.

"Why are you sitting by me? If you haven't noticed; I'm Gryffindor's outcast." She reminds the two irritated.

Remus frowns. "Don't say that, we like you well enough," he tells her earnestly.

A dark look passes over Sirius's face and he looks to the Ravenclaw table. "It's-It's because of what I did, right?"

Lily swallows, "Not directly;" but, she won't deny that he didn't play a part. The redhead thinks eventually she probably would have found out how her roommates thought about Hogwarts houses and treatment of others...somehow.

Sirius looks more than a little contrite (good, he should), "I'm sorry," he says.

Lily shrugs. "It's fine, I have Sev; it's not like I need anyone else," and she knows it sound a little bitter.

"You have us too," Remus declares, "James is a prat."

Digging his elbow into his friend's ribs, Sirius hisses, "Hey! Who was it that said to be careful?"

Eyes flashing, Remus takes a bite of his breakfast. "Me," he mumbles, "But, it doesn't mean its not true-friends or not."

Lily gapes for all of a moment before laughing. "You two are so funny!" She enthuses, "If only there was a way for us all to meet from time to time-Sev included!"

Sirius stills. "I think," he whispers, "I have an idea;" shifting his gaze to the groups of people on either side of them, he tells Remus and Lily. "I just need to talk to Severus..."

"I can tell him," Lily agrees eagerly enough. She doesn't know if she can trust Sirius, but Remus has always seemed okay. She bet he would keep him from doing anything too nasty (especially since Potter wasn't around to side with Sirius), "After lunch; he'll be waiting for you by the lake-with me."

Sirius smiles. "Sure, we'll meet then;" he agrees.

Gulping down her juice, Lily feels a bundle of nerves bloom in her stomach and hopes what she's just done won't ruin Severus (or her) any further.

 


	22. You Lean Towards Disaster, but What of What's to Gain?

Right after lunch, Lily's swooping down on him and prodding him to go faster as they approach the lake. Stopping even with her jerking on his wrist, Severus can't help but scowl. "What are we doing Lily?" He demands, refusing to go any further until an answer is given.

The redhead makes an exasperated noise and stomps her foot. "Oh Sev! Can't you just go along with anything?"

Frowning, Severus refuses. "No," he growls, "I want to know."

Rolling her eyes, Lily gives him another tug; "I'll tell you on the way" she tells the Ravenclaw. Relenting, they begin to trot in the direction of the lake and squinting; Severus makes out the shape of a couple figures up ahead as Lily chatters. "Sirius has an idea as to how we all can meet sometimes! You, him, Remus and I, doesn't that sound wonderful?" She smiles nervously at him, seeking for approval Severus isn't quite ready to indulge in. Sighing, the girl murmurs, "I told him we could meet at the lake."

Nodding his head, Severus mutters. "This better not be some joke," shifting his eyes back and around the lake, he inquires, "Where's Potter and the other one?"

"The hospital wing," Lily answers cheerfully; "For once Potter won't be bothering us."

Reluctantly, Severus agrees, "Yes..."

Soon (much too soon, Severus thinks) they arrive at the lake where Sirius tosses rocks idly into the water and Remus reads on the shore by his fellow Gryffindor's feet. "Hi guys!" Lily greets, plopping down beside Remus.

After a moment, Severus comes to stand next to her; he refuses to sit though. Turning from the waters, Sirius bobs his head in acknowledgement to Severus. "Hey Sev," he smirks.

Scowling, the Ravenclaw grumbles, "Don't call me Sev."

Shrugging, Sirius turns back to the waters. "Before we start anything, can we go a little ways away Sev _erus_? To talk?" He implores.

After taking a moment to grip at his wand hidden within his cloak pocket, Severus nods. "That's agreeable," he replies and together the pair break off. Strolling down the bank a few feet, before Severus stops them. Turning to scowl at the larger youth, he demands, "So?"

Scuffing his foot, Sirius looks down before looking the smaller boy seriously in the eye. "I was thinking," he starts, "Maybe we should share the room?"

"What?" Severus blinks.

Hurriedly, the other babbles, "You know,  _the_ room; you'd like that wouldn't you? I mean you could meet Lily there and stuff-don't tell me you wouldn't like that and it's only fair that I should get to tell someone too and-"

The black-haired eleven-year-old holds up a hand. "Stop," he grits, "Your incessant garble doesn't help you."

Sirius chuckles, "Sorry;" he says without really meaning it. "So, are you going to agree or not?"

Severus's gaze shifts to the murky waters. "If I do...it has to be  _just_ him. I don't want Potter or any of your other ridiculous friends knowing about the room." He orders.

The Gryffindor barks a laugh. "I won't," he concurs, "It'll just be us."

Severus hums. "Shall we tell them now then?" He questions.

"Better yet, let's show them!" Sirius exclaims.

Severus can't smother the smile budding on his lips. "Come on then," he mutters; already turning.

Lily and Remus scramble to get up as they approach, both bubbling with curiosity. "So?" Lily prompts, "What is it that Sirius had in mind, Sev?"

"You'll see," he smirks, taking her by the hand. "You'll like it, I think."

Lily smiles back and Remus looks on inquisitively until Sirius elbows him in the ribs. "C'mon, leave the lovebirds to their loving! I bet we can beat them there!"

Face turning scarlet, Severus snaps, "We aren't in  _love_ _!_ "

Rolling his eyes, Sirius meanders past them; Remus tripping over a particularly large pebble to keep up, "Whatever you say  _Sev_!" The Gryffindor sing-songs, leading their group for their final destination.

Poking her friends arm, Lily questions once again, "Where are we going Sev?"

"You'll see!" Severus pitches in exasperation, eyes going large for a moment as he searches out Sirius who peaks back at them with a grin.

Huffing Lily, protrudes her lip in a pout; doing her best to look put-out and just as it seems Severus might give in and tell her-Sirius snatches her best friend from her. "Up here Sev!" The bigger boy orders, nudging Remus to take up stride with Lily. "We can't have you giving the secret away," he laughs.

"I wasn't going to," the Ravenclaw sulks, but Lily and Remus share a smile as Sirius laughs in front of them. They all know the dark-haired boy would have given into Lily's frown; ( it makes her stomach flip when she thinks too hard on this).

All too quickly they are back in the school, shuffling and darting along; trying to avoid all the students who look at them oddly. Lily ducks her head as they pass her roommates, this will only give them more fodder and oh the risks Remus and Sirius must be taking...

"This way," Remus mumbles, tugging gently at her hand as Sirius and Severus take a sharp turn. Interestingly, they come to the seventh floor where the two boys walk up and down several halls before Sirius stops.

"Here it is!" He shouts gleeful, pushing open a door that Lily is certain hadn't been there a moment before. Pressing into the room, Severus sighs.

"It's not the same..."

Sirius frowns as he walks around the fascinating room, it's like the library-but, there's touches that make it seem more like the Gryffindor common room and not to mention the minute muggle pieces that stick out here and there-the record player in one corner where the floor is cleared away along with familiar paintings and books from back home.

"Different?" Remus frowns, "How can a room change?"

"...maybe someone else know about it?" Lily suggests.

"Where would they get a record player Lily? In  _Hogwarts_ of all places." Severus grumbles as he walks over to it. Flipping through the box of music beside it, he remarks to her, "It's like I'm looking at 'tuney's collection."

"Who?" Remus asks absently as he leaves her side to study a painting on the wall.

"My sister," Lily replies going in a different direction completely.

"The books are different too," Sirius murmurs, "I think there's  _more,_ if that's possible."

"Different or not," Remus projects from where he stands head tilted as he gazes at an abstract work; "It's comfortable, mum has a painting almost like this at home."

Sirius comes to Remus's side and frowns. "What  _is_ it?"

Snorting as he dusts his hands off on his knees, Severus sneers; "Is this another think you wizards are woefully uneducated in? Artistic styles?"

Defensive, Sirius snips, "We have moving paintings! That's way better than what stupid muggles have!"

"Hey!" Three voices answer back indignant.

Shrinking into himself, Sirius mutters a hast apology and Severus shakes his head. "It's an abstract painting, meaning it could be just about anything."

Remus nods. "Mum like them, she says they promote thinking;" he explains earnestly.

Lily laughs from where she lounges on the sofa by the fire. "More like a headache!" She counters, "My dad says it's all rubbish!"

"It all depends on who's looking at it, I suppose," Severus comments coming to sit across from Lily. "I think i saw a board game on one of the shelves; shall I take one down for us?"

"A what?" Sirius frowns, " _bored_ game?"

"No silly,  _board_ like a chess  _board_." Lily giggles.

"Oh," Sirius murmurs, "Are these games fun?"

Slyly, Remus settles down beside his roommate and says "You'll just have to find out!"

Getting up, Severus walks to the bookshelf, where he skims his fingers over them before taking one down. "I do hope everyone is alright with Shoots and Ladders-it's very easy," he tells them laying down the box on the rug between the sofa and chairs. The children slide down to the burgundy rug and lean in, losing themselves in the game.


	23. You're Gonna Bring Yourself Down

Lily stands ram-rod straight as she attempt to transfigure the mouse into a tea-cup; her wands attempts to swish with the precise movements required, but...wad of paper hits the back of her head. There's some giggling and Lily _knows_ it's the mean kind-she's come across it enough in her twelve years, to know the best coarse of action is to ignore it. Or is it? It usually worked back home...here though? These witches and wizards seem to be something else entirely. Gritting her teeth, Lily mutters the incantation under her breath again; hoping beyond belief that...a note is slipped onto her desk by an errant hand as one of her fellow Gryffindors slip past her desk to join the other's behind her. _  
_

Sighing, Lily picks it up-having faced what happens when she doesn't too many times before. Opening it with great trepidation, she doesn't cringe as usual; but instead feels a fire ignite in the spot between her lungs.

_Seductress, we know what you're doing with those boys._

How? They don't know a thing! These dunder-headed girls! It's one thing to be nasty-but to out right accuse her of things she isn't? Oh, no wonder poor Sev always looks so defensive...Ripping the paper up, she takes hold of her wand and stomps up to the grinning faces of the other girls. This is just what they wanted, she realizes belatedly; there's no going back, though.

"Stop it! Isn't it enough to ruin my books and trip me up in the halls?" She scowls.

Sabrina smirks. "What are you talking about Lily?" She gasps with fake-innocence.

Lily feels her eyes sting. "Why are all so cruel? I don't understand it!" She turns quickly, those tears surfacing much too fast but as she attempts to take a step she finds herself tripping and with horrendous clash she falls to the hard stones-warm blood spilling down her chin.

"That's enough!" Remus snarls, standing up from his seat across the isle from the girls. "How can you do that to Lily? What has she done to you?" He demands, hurrying to his friend's side.

Helping her aching body from it's awkward position, Remus hands her a handkerchief. "We should get you to Madam Pomfrey..."

Putting the cloth to her aching chin, Lily can barely nod without causing her head to throb. She notices Remus's gaze shift upward from her and after a moment the girl vaguely senses the rustle of the Professor's skirt beside her. Struggling to look up through half-open eyes; Lily sees McGonagall staring at her roommates with a stern frown.

"I don't know what this is about," she hisses, "but it will  _stop_." Eyes piercing, the woman continues in a coarse hush; "I hoped it would work itself out or that Miss Evans would come to me...I see I was wrong." Her gaze then turns to James, Sirius, Peter and Remus "That goes for you boys as well!" She barks, "You leave that poor Ravenclaw boy alone!"

James isn't the only one with a mutinous gleam to his eye, but it's Mary who yells. " _She_ started it!"

The woman scowls. "I don't care any longer, you will stop no matter who started it!" She orders the girl, "Ten points from Gryffindor for disrespect Miss MacDonald!"

The first year blinks in shock and falls back to her seat.

Feeling that the altercation has finished, McGonagall waves her hand at the waiting Remus and Lily; "Take Miss Evans to see Madam Pomfrey, Mister Lupin."

Helping Lily up on her unsteady feet, the tawny-haired youth nods. "Of course, professor." He whispers and together, he and his friend hobble out of the room; not at all noticing the strange stare of a bespectacled boy.

* * *

Tucked between crisp sheets, Lily dozes between the pleasantness of sleep and the painfulness of being awake; somewhere in the cusp between the two she makes out a dark shape with her slitted eyes and feels a hand grip hers.

Lashes fluttering to open, she gazes into the worried face of her best friend. "Oh, Sev..." she whispers.

Smoothing his thumb over the back of her hand, Severus can't help but frown. He wishes for the first time he'd been sorted to Gryffindor-so he could always know what is happening to her. "I didn't see you in the Great Hall at lunch, or at flying lessons for that matter," he explains.

"I tripped in Transfiguration and hit my head hard," Lily tells him a little more awake as she attempts to sit up.

"Stay," Severus pleads; pushing her back. "Besides, it doesn't sound like  _you_ tripped at all...more like  _someone_  tripped you." He murmurs.

Lily sighs. "I know," she admits looking away. "I wish Remus hadn't yelled like that..."

"Remus yelled?" Severus startles;  _no..._ he thinks desperately. Everything will crash down around them at this rate-and it won't only be Severus who has to face the repercussions.

"Oh yeah, he was really mad with Mary and the others..." Lily mutters, doing her best to stay awake.

"Didn't...didn't that make Potter suspicious? I mean, if you're the Gryffindor pariah..." he winces just a bit at the end, hating that he has called Lily such a terrible thing.

Lily chuckles. "Oh I doubt it, Remus hates to see people hurt; Gryffindor or Slytherin," she smiles.

Severus grins fleetingly back. "How long will you be here Lily?" He asks.

"Oh, until the morning." Lily replies. "You can pick me up on our way to Charms tomorrow!" She tells him jovially.

"Oh I don't know...going out of my way for  _you_? That might make me late for class!" He teases.

Lily giggles and squeezes his hand, her eyes shining brighter. "Seriously Sev, don't worry; okay? Everything's going to be fine." She begs.

It doesn't stop the twisting of his gut, but Severus nods. "I believe you," he agrees.

* * *

In the afternoon light, James plucks the green grass below his fingers as he watches Remus attempt to help Peter understand why having a toad for a familiar is good for potions . "D'you think Remus likes Lily?" He inquires of Sirius who's flipping through the latest Quidditch weekly.

The boy pauses mid-page flip and frowns at him. "Why?"

Gesturing uselessly, the bespectacled boy attempts to explain. "Well...he helped her."

Sirius scoffs. "C'mon mate, you know he hates to see anyone in pain and it's not like the girls or Hufflepuffs were going to help her..." He reminds him.

"Yeah," James exhales. "But...the two of you, I feel like I hardly see you guys anymore. Sometimes you disappear and...well, you know." He finishes uncomfortable with the train of thought. Sirius stares at him blankly for a moment, but he quickly begins to laugh; both perturbing and angering James at first.

"He's just helping me with studying! We need to get away, you and Peter are distracting and if I want a job when I grow up..." he replies and the other boy scoots over, patting James's shoulder. "Don't worry mate!" He exclaims.

James nods, but his eyes are on Remus again; a distant look to them. "Yeah..."


	24. Somebody I used to Know (Still Know)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, I want to say thank you to psyche_girl for becoming my beta! I appreciate it so much and I think with your help, this story will only get better with time!

 

Severus is so careful putting his things away as his classmates bustle around him, he doesn't notice the professor until a hand comes down on his shoulder (Severus's heart hits his ribs so hard he thinks everyone must've heard it). Spinning around so he's looking the professor in the eye, the Ravenclaw relaxes a fraction.  ****

"Ah, yes professor Slughorn?"

Something oddis lurking in the old man's eyes, but Severus can't place it and before he has the chance to think on it too long, the man remarks, "I'd like it if you'd stay after class."

 

Closing the latches of his satchel, the boy frowns. "Why?" he questions, but hastily corrects his question with another, politer inquiry: "If you don't mind me asking..."

"Not at all!" The man smiles broadly."It's about seeing if we couldn't test you out of second year potions-third too," he explains. "And that isn't enough for you, I'd very much care to see what level you are at so I may have you assist me me after-hours with some private brewing."

A light, giddy feeling bubbles in his head; Snape, however, knows better than to let it show.

"Why?" He demands. He'd love some more challenging work...however, he's never heard of students being allowed such a thing.

"You seem to find what we are doing much too elementary and I fear in the coming year you will grow restless with the class and its pace," Slughorn elaborates.

 

Severus frowns. "I like potions now," he says.

Slughorn's lips slip into a bit of a smile. "I have no doubts you do...I just hate to see you wasting your potential here, I suppose."

"Okay, I guess," the Ravenclaw agrees when he can think of no true downside (bullied for special privileges and being the youngest in his class, maybe, but what's that matter when he faces bullying daily anyway already?)

 

The old man's eyes brighten and his hands clap together with his joy. "Brilliant! Let us get started, hm?"

* * *

 

When they finish and Severus as cleaned up to the man's expectations, Slughorn puts a hand on his shoulder. "I don't think I've seen such a promising potions student since nearly thirteen years ago!" he exclaims. "I have a picture of her in my office, if you're interested in seeing her."

Severus lifts his shoulders and lets them fall. Why not? The man let him spend an hour learning to make pain-numbing medicine while cutting up ingredients; humouring him only seems fair. Packing up his satchel for the final time, the Ravenclaw slings it over his shoulder.

"Sure, that'd be good."

The man brings his hands together with a small clap. "Ah! Brilliant, follow me Mr. Snape!" He sounds exuberant. That's to be expected, though; Slughorn enjoys showing off his success stories.

Plodding after the man and into his office, Snape watches the old man filter through a number of frames, tutting and shuffling them around until he finds the one he wants. With a tiny noise, he plucks a dark ornate frame off his bookshelf and brings it to Severus, who hovers near his desk. Crouching a little as he leans in to inspect the picture along with the boy, Slughorn murmurs, "That's Eileen Prince-a student of my house. She was keen in potions and had a self-discipline I've even found hard to match myself...I began working advanced her around this time of the year too, I believe. She came from good stock, though her cousin wasn't as clever; I'd chock that up to the Crabbe blood he had in him, they never are the brightest."  
 **  
**

Severus grew more white as the prattle went on; he couldn't take his eyes off the picture of his mother. She was young, her thin blond hair framing her sharp contours and her dark eyes (his eyes) darted about as professor Slughorn grinned jovially waving from time to time at whoever was taking the photo. Seeming to take note of his distressed state, the old professor frowned. "Are you well child?"

Nodding, Severus whispers, "she just looks familiar."

That odd gleam lights up the man's eye and he studies Severus further. "You know," he begins, "the two of you have very similar eyes, almost like bottomless pools."

There's a pause, and Severus steps away.

"I'm...I'm sorry sir, I forgot I promised to meet Lily almost a quarter of an hour before to study for charms; if-if you'll excuse me," he stammers, nearly flying to the door.

"Of course," Professor Slughorn concedes, smiling at him as he dashes from the room in a way that irks the dark-haired boy even though he can't sufficiently describe how.

Once he feels he's a safe distance from the potions classroom, Severus stops his purposeful stride and erratically darts his gaze around the hall until he finds a statue he think will keep him well enough hidden, if he crouches behind it's bent knee and to the left of its staff. Severus knows he shouldn't have lied so blatantly, especially when he was so upset, and yet he knows if he'd stayed he would have burst into tears...like he's about to do  _right now_! Diving behind the imposing form; the Ravenclaw shields his face with his arms and holds back the gulping, hollow sounds that want to pour from his dry lips.  
 ****  
Hours later, after dinner and curfew, Severus unfurls from the bundle he is and takes his sore, aching body back to his dorm - not once caring to look around a corner to check for a professor doing rounds.

* * *

Joshua doesn't sleep well these days. He wakes a couple times a night breathing so hard he's sure his roommates can hear him, but then whenever he sits up, everyone's tucked warmly beneath their sheets (except Severus: half the time he's tossing and mumbling and lost somewhere in his own horror). So, when the brunette reaches under his bed to get his pet rat Judd out, he doesn't expect to see Severus sneaking into bed.

Freezing, he can't help the sharp exhale of "oh."

Severus's head whips around and Josh is reminded immediately that Severus is far different from him (even if one of his parents are dead, even if he likes potions, even if he thinks football is better than Quidditch too, even if he's in Ravenclaw...). They stare in that near absolute darkness at one another, neither giving into that dangerous temptation to look away.

Hoarsely, Severus demands, "What are you doing up?"

For a moment, Joshua feels indignant; then he remembers the Gryffindors' bullying and how all of Ravenclaw and Severus have been carefully walking around one another. Why shouldn't Severus feel suspicious? So, slowly slipping from his bed; Josh answers, "Nightmares."

Severus seems to lose some of that puff in his chest, and the glint of a moonbeam reveals a frown on his face. "I see," he mutters.

Josh hums, bending around to get Judd and to give the other boy a moment to gather himself. "Where have you been? No one's seen you since potions."

Petting the spine of his rat as he shifts back to face Severus, Joshua sees the glint of his eyes has wandered away. "Around," Severus answers vaguely.

Joshua doesn't feel he can take any more of those answers. Isn't that what got them all into this in the first place? Respecting rebuffs, believing pleasantries, pretending when they should have been wondering? "Yeah? Were you with Lily? Or that arse Black?"

He can feel the way Severus jerks to attention. "He's no more an arse than you lot are!" Severus snaps. "At least he knows when to stop pestering and let a bloke sort things out!" Josh feels anger surge through him and grips Judd maybe just a bit too tight. He earns a squeak, which he quickly soothes with a gentle rub between the familiar's ears.

"My dad's dead," he reminds the other boy.

There's a weary tone in Severus's voice. "Yeah and so's my mum, what are you getting at here Hilliard?"

Glaring resolutely at Judd's back, he can almost make out the lighter brown spot among the darker brown of the rat's fur. "Josh," he grits, "I'm  _Josh_."

"Josh," Severus sighs and maybe for the first time in a long time, the boy thinks someone's more tired than he is.

"What happened Sev? Why do you hide away from us? Why don't you answer anyone's questions anymore?" Josh inquires so quietly, he almost bets the dark-haired youth didn't hear him at all.  **  
**

A mattress creaks and Josh thinks Severus has decided to ignore him and just go to sleep when a voice mumbles, "you loved your father."

Confused, Joshua sits down on his own bed, running his hand rhythmically up and down Judd's tail. "Of course I did-do, my mum, brother and sister too."

"That's why," Severus mutters.

Josh doesn't understand right away, but in that oddly calm bleak quiet, he begins to. Severus has little love for his own father, if anything, he bets he hates him. Joshua can understand that much. After all, he would hate his own father if he'd left his family all alone. (But he did leave us, Josh's traitorous mind whispers for a second. He left us when he died.)

Josh wonders if Snape even loves his mother at this point. She left him too, didn't she? He wonders...who  _does_ Severus love then? It dawns on the Ravenclaw slowly that maybe Severus doesn't love at all. Or maybe he does. Sometimes, sometimes when Severus looks at Lily his face almost reminds Josh of the warm feeling he gets when his mum says "I love you" in that sing-song tone of hers, or when his sister gives him the frosting from her cake because she knows it's what he likes best, or the way his older brother always plays a pick-up game of footie after he knocks him around in the yard and tells him he's lame...

Then there's Sirius. A boy who has no love either. A boy who understands Severus maybe better than Joshua can.

No wonder Severus's so angry at us all the time, Josh thinks, feeling guilty. We've been pressing him to abandon the only people who get him best. **  
**

The first step, the Ravenclaw thinks, will be to regain Severus's trust in the daylight. It has to be like before...like when he thought Severus was cool for knowing so much about potions and for being able to eat the cardboard flavor jelly bean without even flinching; he can't let anything between then and now get in the way...not if he ever wants to be friends with him again.

Snuggling the snuffling Judd beneath his chin, Joshua turns to his side and mumbles to himself, "I'll do better, I won't let it happen again."


	25. Doesn't Matter if it's Not our Day

The last day of the school before summer holiday seems to be a lot closer than it was a month ago now that they can go outside without their robes and loll around in the grass between classes. Thinking just of that, Sirius's eyes stay glued to the blue skies outside as he slips a note to Remus from Severus. The Ravenclaw wants to meet one last time in the secret room before school's over-probably to exchange addresses and such, well, Lily probably prompted him to. The bloke seems like the type that could disappear for a whole summer and return without even feeling the least bit guilty for not talking to anyone the entire break. The boy's mind else where and in his haste to get outside, Sirius doesn't catch James watching him and he certainly doesn't see him pick up the note before Remus notices it.

Whistling a cheery piece as he leaves the room, Sirius isn't there to see James skim the note and crumple it between his fingers-nor is he there to witness the absolutely livid gleam that comes to his eyes.

* * *

For the first time in months, Severus is willingly walking outside with a couple of Ravenclaw students to the Black lake south of Hogwarts. Chuckling as Xenophilius contributes a bit of odd humor to their conversation, Severus doesn't even notice the red streak coming rights towards him.

"SEVERUS!" Lily shouts, nearly toppling to the ground in her hurry as she rushes to get to her best friend. "SEVERUS!" She screams again, and this time, the boy turns his head towards her.

Both relieved and even more anxious than ever before, Lily nearly collides with the tiny group as she stops in front of them; catching her breath as quick as she can. Coughing, she manages to choke out "Sirius-" heaving for another breath, she finishes "Sirius and James are fighting! I-I think one of them might actually  _kill_ the other!"

Alert, Severus grabs Lily's hand. "Show me," he demands.

The girl nods her head, then her eyes look to the few with her best friend. "Come too if you want," she offers, tugging Severus into a run as they head back towards the castle.

A few minutes later, they get there just as professors are arriving. The crowd around the fight it is thick and full of yelling, normally, Severus would avoid this sort of thing; not today, though, not when Sirius is in there. Throwing his caution aside, the Ravenclaw works his way through the group. What he finds makes him gape.

Sirius and James are rolling on the ground, fighting with hands, feet and teeth as a few other Gryffindor's hold Remus back across from Severus. Jumping in, Severus tackles James off Sirius surprising not only said boy, but the ones holding Remus.

The shock of his captures giving the perfect opportunity to escape, the boy does so."Sirius! Sirius!" The fawn-haired youth yells, running to his bleeding friend's side. "Are you okay?" One of Black's eyes are already swelling and his forehead has a nasty gash, however, he nods.

From on top of James, Severus sees from the corner of his eyes the other Gryffindor first years stepping forward to pull him off the struggling first year; the Ravenclaws,  _his friends,_ stop the fool-hearty lot dead in their tracks with an uncommon show of bravery of stepping up to meet them-stride for stride. James, glasses smashed and face just as bruised and cut up as his yearmate's glares hatefully up at Severus.

"Who the bloody hell do you think you are,  _huh_? Stealing my friends right under my nose! You know what you are Snape? You're a  _traitor!_ Abandoning your house to steal from Gryffindor!"

Severus would have hit him then, but a hand (an  _adult_ hand) grabs him. Flinching violently, the dark-eyed youth wrenches himself from the hold so he is standing and can look on as McGonagall pulls James up.

A deep and furious scowl set on her features, the Scottish woman hisses. "What on  _earth_ has gotten into you children!?"

James, the dunderhead, points accusingly at Severus. "He's using dark magic to make people like him and his greasy hair!" He yells.

"Oh just shut up James!" Remus snaps from nearby, "He's done no such thing!" Helping up Sirius, the other boy frowns at James.

"He's not that bad James, I don't...why are you so set on hating him?" Sirius asks pleadingly, "I want to be friends with  _both_ of you!" _  
_

Stubborn as ever, James never lets his gaze waver from Severus. "I'll get you back for this Snape," he declares. His furious glare shifted to Remus, Sirius and Lily where they stood huddled together, "You too, you traitors!"

With a strong pull, the professor begins to drag James towards the school, snapping at Sirius and Remus to follow. Watching them go, Severus wonders if he should be fearing for his life. There's a quiet swish from behind, looking back, he sees Lily twisting her hands and his fellow Ravenclaws looking at him.

"Oh, what are you all hanging around for still?" He inquires distantly.

"Why's he hate you so much, Severus?" Josh questions.

Severus shrugs. "I don't know, I tend to rub people the wrong way...just ask Lily's sister-or any number of teachers, kids, and adults that I've met."

Lily gives a high-pitched laugh. "Severus, that's not an excuse for what James just said," she tells him.

The boy can only shrug. "It's the only reason I have," he whispers. He walks away then, not heading his friends calls and ignoring the few that try to follow. He needs to get away, he needs time to think...

* * *

Watching the scenery speed by, Severus barely takes notice of the people around him-or the awkward silence. A slim hand slips into his,

"Severus." Lily calls.

"Hm?" He mutter, looking away from the window and to the girl, then to the two boys across from them.

"You've been awfully quite these past few weeks..." She starts in a wavering tone.

The dark-eyed boy glances to the just as anxious boys across from him. "Well, a lot happened. I'd think you three would be more worried with the way your house is always glaring at you..." sighing, he finally admits. "I can't help but think it's my fault."

"It's not!" Sirius shouts. "It-it was mine...both times."

Remus shakes his head. "No more your fault than it's the rest of ours, we all had our parts, I suppose."

"Do you think it'll be better when school starts up again?" Lily inquires desperately.

"We can hope," Severus mutters.

"Oh please be more pessimistic you arse!" Sirius barks, "We already know it's bad! The very least you could do is not make it sound like it's only going to get worse!"

Scowling, Severus counters, "I'm being realistic! It could very well get worse!  _Especially_ since Potter has all summer to plot!"

The train below them begins to slow and Lily stares at them all with frightened eyes. "Pleas don't start fighting now, we only have a little while longer...we won't see either of you until next year! I couldn't stand for us to end on a bad note," she warbles.

Sirius exhales, slumping in his seat. " _I_ won't be seeing you three, Remus and you all can visit as much as you like...my parents, they aren't going to let me see a couple of half-bloods and a muggle-born. Can you _imagine_ the scandal it would cause?" Slapping his cheeks with mock shock, he says in exaggeratedly high-tones " _Did you hear! The Blacks let their children roll around in the dirt with half-bloods and oh-oh! I hear Sirius Black even **talked** with muggles, about the  **weather**! What is this world coming_  to?"

The group falls into laughter, a smirk rising up on Sirius's lips. It will have to sustain him until the next school year, no one back home's going to laugh at his jokes like this. The train stopping, they get up and gather their things. Reaching out and kissing both their cheeks, Lily tells them,

"We're going to miss you! Have a good summer okay?"

Watching the redhead and black-haired boy leave together, Sirius wishes he could leave with them, but if his parents saw...he shivers. Best not to think on it.

 


	26. All These Years (I have Dreamed of This)

"Severus! Lily! Children over here!" A woman's voice shouts over the crowds to the youths dragging trunks behind them.

Stopping, Severus snags Lily's sleeve as she takes another step forward and when she sends him a half-irritated, half-questioning look, the dark haired boy just jerks his head in the direction the voice came from. Her emerald eyes shift and appear to cut through the crowd and land on the one thing she had been seeking out. A smile blooms on her face and with a renewed vigor, swivels and pulls her trunk along so fast it makes a screech against the bricks that make up the floor.

Wincing, Severus trudges after stomach bubbling in that nervous way that is has on and off all day (all month, really). He eventually catches up to Lily and her happy parents, blinking when he realizes Petunia is hovering just a short distance away.

"Severus! How are you son?" Mr. Evans asks as he comes to stop in front of him.

Looking at the blond man, the boy bobs his head. "I am well, sir." He replies curtly.

The twinkle in his eye fades a little. "No one calls me sir at our house and since you'll be staying there for the summer...you can call me Paul, alright son?" It's on the tip of Severus's tongue to call him sir as he agrees to the terms, so the boy bites his tongue and nods instead. Mr. Evans smiles a little wider and leans in close, "I was thinking, since I've never had a son to take to any football games...we could go to a couple this summer? What do you think?" He inquires hopefully.

A little tense, but happily surprised by the offer, Severus nods once more. "I would like that," he answers.

Standing up straight once more, the man with shoulders proudly squared back says, "We should be going, I think," glancing to his wife and youngest daughter, he calls "Pet? Love where are you?"

"Right here daddy," the girl says from behind her father, a disgruntle tone to her reply. The man bends back and sees the adolescent frowning up at him, arms crossed.

"Wonderful!" He says, pulling her against him. "We can get going now;" looking to her, then Severus and his wife and Lily, he questions, "How does ice cream on the way home sound?"

"Yes please!" Lily cries, turning suddenly at the offer for a favorite sweet. Her eyes then rest on Petunia. "You came!" She exclaims happily.

"It's not like I wanted to come to this freak-fest! Mum and daddy  _made_ me!" She snaps viciously.

Lily gapes, shrinking back into herself; the joy of seeing her sister turned to confusion and anger. "You don't always have to be so mean!" Lily shouts back, fingers curling sharply into her mother's cardigan.

"Hush loves," Mrs. Evans both soothes and warns. "You know better than to make scenes in public," she chides.

Stubbornness overcomes their countenances, but with a jerky nod, Petunia agrees. "Of course mum," she says.

It's the catalyst that draws a grudging murmur of agreement from Lily, "Okay."

Petting her youngest daughter's mane of red, Mrs. Evans concludes with "Then let's go, hm?"

* * *

Licking the remnants of strawberry ice cream from his spoon, Severus follows his foster family thoughtlessly through their front door and up the stairs. "This way Sev! This is where you're staying!" Lily explains exuberantly leading him down the hall to the open door on the right. "Dad turned his study into a bedroom for you!"

Guilt pangs in Severus's chest. "He didn't have to do that..." he mumbles, the now clean spoon forgotten.

Lily giggles and shakes her head. "Oh Sev! They  _wanted_ to!" Snagging his elbow, she hurries him to the doorway where he digs his heels in the hall rug; staring into the bedroom.

It's narrow, walls beige with a blue strip running along the top-neither of which are his favorite colors-but...that's not what matters. No, the room has a bed with a painstakingly intricate quilt folded at the end ("mum made me a quilt with flowers stitched on it before I was born"), against the opposite wall is a dresser with two shelves above it; both liberally filled with books and on the dresser-on it is a small picture. It's him. But, not just him, it's him and Lily; crouched close to the ground, heads bent close as they examine something held in Lily's hands.

He remembers that day, it had rained earlier and when he came to Lily's home to see if she wanted to go to the park, she suggested playing in her backyard. Severus hadn't wanted to, embarrassed that he didn't have galoshes to splash in the puddles he knew to be behind her house-Lily gave him Petunia's old ones ("she doesn't wear them anymore-and they aren't covered in flowers like mine! Her's are red.") Severus had no choice but to agree then, they played back their nearly all afternoon when they stumbled across the frog. That was when Lily's mother must have caught them like that, so natural and open, both of them wearing faint smiles as they examined their catch.

"What do you think Sev? I told mum and dad what books you liked!" Lily imparts proudly.

Severus shakes his head. He doesn't have words to describe the gratitude he feels, or how  _happy_ he is! No one, not even mother, had done something that was purely for him. Turning, he drops his Styrofoam bowl and hugs Lily.

"This is better than I could have ever  _dreamed_!" He whispers.

Lily pats his back. "You're welcome then, I told you, my parents  _want_ you here just as much as me."

Sniffling, Severus lifts his gaze up from Lily's neck to see the Evans hovering at the edge of the staircase; Lily's and his trunks between them. Gazing at them, he lifts his mouth so it's not muffled by his friend's shoulder and says,

" _Thank you_."

 


	27. Where the Daylight Stretches Forever On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my beta Pysche_girl and to everyone else who left kudos, comments, to those who are following and have bookmarked The Story's Undone (to be Made Again) thus far!

 

 

The summer is happening so fast that Severus is having trouble saving everything to memory. Walking into the house wearing a new Manchester jersey and a cone of ice cream in hand, Severus feels quite pleased; it's fairly late in the evening, but the sunlight hasn't faded completely. He hears the door close behind him, and twisting around, he sees Mr. Evans - no,  _Paul -_ smiling down at him.

 

"Did you enjoy the game, Severus?"

 

Earnest and mind buzzing with more than a little sugar and adrenaline, he almost yells, "Yeah! Erm, it was really wicked si- _Paul_." 

 

The man reaches down and  _actually_ ruffles his hair, like in those commercials he sees on the Evans's television. "Splendid, maybe we'll have time for another game or two before you kids have to get back to school," he half-promises.

 

Severus grins behind his ice cream cone. "That'd be good."

 

The blond man smiles and waves him off. "Go on, I bet there's some dinner waiting in the kitchen for us." The boy looks to his ice cream with a bit of trepidation. Will Mrs. Evans feel insulted if she sees him eating this? Surprisingly, Mr. Evans picks up on his unease and says quietly, "Go on, she knew I was going to buy you some treats while we were at the game."

 

 

 

"Alright," the dark-haired youth relents, turning and walking to the kitchen. Upon stepping in, he finds not Mrs. Evans but Lily and Petunia glaring at each other from across the table.

 

Catching sight of him from the corners of their eyes, the girls heads turn. "Oh look, the charity case is back!" Petunia sneers.

 

Startled, Severus shrinks back. Whip-quick, Lily reaches across the table and actually  _slaps_ her older sister. "I hate you! I hate you!" Lily screams, "You're always so  _spiteful_!" Tears pooling in her eyes, Lily heaves in something a half-sob and half-shriek, "I sent you letters all school year, I gave you a Christmas present-I gave you the extra of Sev's gift to  _me_! You never wrote back! You never  _ever_ said thank you and whenever we do talk you're-you're  _horrible_!"

 

 

 

Severus shrinks back to the doorway just as Mrs. Evans comes into the dining room from the kitchen-steaming pot in hand. "What is going on in here?!" She demands, blue eyes molten as she darts her glare between her daughters.

 

Petunia, face oh so red, crosses her arms and frowns. "Lily started screaming for absolutely  _no_ reason," she hisses.

 

"That's not true!" Lily yells, hands hitting the table hard enough for it to shake, "She called Sev a charity case and-and-" the anger seems to leave her completely as she falls back into her chair sobbing her frustration and loss out of her in a gush of tears.

 

"Oh dear," Mrs. Evans sighs whipping out a dish cloth and putting it on the table before setting down the pot. Going to her youngest daughter's side, she hugs the child, swaying with her as she shushes her. "It's alright love, it's okay.." she soothes, peppering kisses to her temple and hair as Lily clings to her.

 

Eyes snapping to Petunia, Severus catches her eye. "This is your fault," she mouthes at him and in that moment, Severus thinks she can't be more right. If he hadn't told Lily what she was...if she could have found out like a  _normal_ muggleborn...not feeling all that hungry anymore, Severus walks into the kitchen where he dumps his ice cream cone before taking the stairs up to his room. 

 

Falling to his bed, Severus looks to the notebook-paper scattered around on the floor. ("We don't have any parchment, do you think your wizard-friends will mind?") He had been messing with spells earlier - he wanted to make one that he could use in public so he and Lily-or Sirius, or Remus, or Josh, or so on could talk privately even when surrounded. A little like a silencing spell, but  _not._ As he looked at the paper, now, though, he thought of writing to someone.

 

Maybe they'd be okay with him staying over for a night? Or two. Possibly most of the summer if he could swing it. Picking up his quill and a lined paper, he writes the address, "To Sirius," before he crumples it up. No, Sirius is out of the question; the boy can't even leave his own house to see them. Why would his parents allow him in? They wouldn't. He considers Remus...but the fawn-haired youth has an odd way of disappearing around the full moon...Severus really should ask him about that, shouldn't he? It's not like the headmaster would allow a real live werewolf in Hogwarts, would he? Maybe it was his father or mother who were inflicted with lycanthropy...His final option was Josh. But with Josh´s father dead and his mother newly widowed, he didn't think it would be fair to put the strain of another child on her mind.

 

 

 

Sighing, Severus rolls to his back and runs through his house roster; halfway through narrowing down his options, he hears a knock at his door. Lifting his head, he sees Mrs. Evans.

 

"Severus love? What are you doing up here?" She questions. "You haven't even had dinner."

 

Sitting up, the boy shrugs. "I'm not all that hungry," he half-lies.

 

The woman purses her lips and leans against the doorway. "Is it because of the girls? It's nothing love, all girls get a little emotional at that age." She explains.

 

 

 

Severus, who knows better, disagrees. "Petunia hates magic and she hates me."

 

Mrs. Evans lips flicker in a frown and a hand comes to her mouth. "Did you she say she hated you? I've told her that's not an appropriate thing to say..."

 

Voice wry, Severus mutters, "She doesn't have to  _say_ it to let me know."

 

Lily's mother's eyes sharpen as they land on him. "You listen-" strangely, she stops. Twisting around so her back is to Severus, the woman murmurs "Oh heavens, what has happened to my daughter?"

 

The boy bets he wasn't so supposed to hear her say that (or at the very least acknowledge it), yet..."She's jealous," Severus blurts. "She thinks you love Lily more for being magical."

 

The woman whips around, blue eyes wide. "Of course we don't!" She cries. "We love them just the same!" 

 

Hunkering down with his elbows on his knees and head in his hands, Severus coolly comments. "Maybe you should tell her that sometime."

 

Mrs. Evan's face turns a livid red and she grits, "If I wasn't so worried that Pet thinks I love Lily more, I'd put a bar of soap in your mouth for those smart remarks!" Severus blinks and the woman has left, but her voice carries as she shouts, "Petunia! Paul! Our bedroom now!"

 

He hears the clomping of feet, protests (from Petunia) and finally, the slam of a door. A few minutes later, Severus gets up and walks downstairs and to the dining room.

Lily's puffy eyes find him. "What happened?" She questions.

 

Smirking, Severus replies. "You're mother and I had a little chat-I think Petunia might be nicer to you after today."

 

Her green eyes glow and reaching to the middle of the table, she picks up the plate of cookies that are likely meant to be for after dinner. "Want one?"

 

Walking to her side, Severus takes one. "Thanks," he says. It tastes a little sweeter than he expected.

 


	28. Not so Lazy Days

Coming home was no great relief. Home almost two months and mother is  _still_ glaring at him from time to time! Is it really his fault he was sorted into Gryffindor? He tried to explain that he didn't choose his house (though, he kinda did); she wouldn't have it, though. No, it was all "You should have told the hat no, Sirius," and "Why didn't you request to be put in Slytherin, Sirius?" and okay, maybe he  _should_ have done that. At least in Slytherin he would have had his cousins to back him up when he caused mayhem...but,  _James, Remus_ and  _Peter_  they had all seemed like wicked blokes (Remus still is) and it was obvious even before he met them personally all of the  _fun_ people were in Gryffindor.

Now, two months into summer; Sirius is beginning to wonder if he shouldn't have let the hat put him where it thought he should have gone.

"Sirius?" A soft voice calls.

Twisting away the window of his bedroom, he scowls at the slight body in the middle of his room. "How many times do I have to tell you to stay out of my room, you little prat?"

The child shrinks back.

Sirius sighs, he's tired of this. "What do you want, you little bother?" He demands, sweeping towards the boy and making to sheppard him from his room.

His brother goes stock still and lifts his reflective eyes to meet his. "How do you get the hat to put you where you need to be?" He inquires in a single breath.

Sirius stops. "Why?" He asks, "Why do you need to know?"

The boy bites his lip and casts his eyes away. "I..." he swallows, "I don't want mum and dad to be mad at me if I..."

That stomach-curdling feeling back ten-fold, Sirius gives his brother a none too kind shove. "Trying to up-stage me, huh? Gonna steal that  _inheritance_ right out from beneath me by being the perfect, son, eh?"

"No!"

Stopping, Sirius crosses his arms. "Good, I don't  _want_ it anyway! It's all rubbish! Not working for what you have!" He declares, sneering at his brother.

The child's shoulders droop sadly. "I want to be with 'cissa and where mum and dad were...it'd be nice to be staying with people I know-mum and dad know."

"You're going to have to make yourself your own man someday," Sirius tells him, shaking his head in disgust. "What better time than to do it in Hogwarts? Huh? Let the hat put you where you're supposed to go!"

Smaller hands shoot out, gripping at his robe with strange strength. "I  _want_ to be a  _Black_!" Regulus cries, a light in his eyes. " _I'm_ going to make our name good again!" He proclaims, "Not like you, you  _traitor_!"

It's Sirius's turn to step back. The intensity of his brother scares him. Who knew the kid had such ideas floating around in his head? And why is he the traitor for putting himself in the house of chivalry and light? (Even if it doesn't feel like either of those things these days). He made a good step, didn't he? Putting himself out there for his brother to follow after...breaking tradition for generations of Blacks to come.

Sneering at Regulus, the older brother leans in close enough that their noses nearly bump each other as he hisses. "You know what? You don't  _get_ to choose-no matter what mother says! The hat'll put you wherever it damn well pleases!" Standing back up, he paces around the boy and in his best rendition of Bellatrix's scarily haughty tone, he remarks, "I bet with your spineless butt you'll end up in Hufflepuff!"

Regulus, drained of color and eyes deplorably wide; dashes from the room with little of the pureblood grace expected of him. Snorting, Sirius plods over to his room's window and mutters, "Gullible little brat."

* * *

Coming up stairs from dinner, Sirius feels his heart stutter at what he sees waiting at his window. It's an owl. He'll have to remind whoever sent it to be careful...if his parents were to see it, there's no telling what they'd do to it if they saw who the letter was from. Hurrying into his room, he closes his bedroom door silently and almost runs to the owl where he snatches the letter.

"Thanks," he tells the critter, rummaging his pocket for a dinner-roll that he knicked. Ripping it up a little, he offers a few of the crumbs to the bird who happily titters as it takes the treat. Once finished, the bird takes off; leaving Sirius-and the letter-alone.

_Dear Sirius,_

_How is your summer so far? Mine has been quite pleasant, we went to the shore a few days ago. I picked up some interesting seashells and took a picture of a starfish that I saw. I heard from Lily too, it sounds like her dad's really invested in giving Severus a football-filled summer! From the way you made it sound before we left school, I suspect your summer's been less than ideal..._ _I know you can't actually come and see anyone over holiday and we can't come to see you, but when it's time to get school supplies, do you want to set up a time we can "run it to each other"?_

_Your friend,_

_Remus_

Looking at the letter, Sirius feels like saving it. It's no masterpiece and it's no novel, but...it means something that Sirius feared was lost forever upon his mother clamping her hand on his shoulder. He has  _friends_ that do care about him. Friends that want to see him. Holding the letter between his fingers, he looks to the thin pile laid out of his covers; he has two from Lily, three from Remus (four, counting this one) and one from Severus. Furtively looking to his door, Sirius pushes the pile beneath his pillow. He'll have to find a box to put them in now. He saw Regulus poking in his books yesterday and it won't do for him to find the books he's been tucking these away in.

But, much too giddy at the chance of actually seeing one of his friends before school begins, the dark-haired youth waltzes over to his desk and picks up a quill and parchment where he begins to write.

Maybe, if he's lucky, he can see more than just Remus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos and comments guys!


	29. Let's Never Let Now End

"Here Severus, you got a letter." Julie says, handing off a little green envelope.

Putting aside his spoon, the boy takes it curiously and pries it open. It's a little card decorated with balloons and when he opens it, a folded up letter reveals itself; scanning it, Severus lifts his gaze to meet Mrs. Evans.

"It's an invitation to a birthday party," He tells her, "His address is in here if you want to see."

The woman's eyes twinkle as she takes it. "Thank you," she agrees. A moment later she hands it back, "That's about an hour away from here, but I think we can swing it for a special occasion like this one!"

Severus lets a smile overcome his face. "Thanks Julie," he mutters. Her eyes soften and she reaches out, fingers beginning to brush through his hair until-

"Mu-um! Lily's using my lipstick!" The cry resounds from the top of the stairs. Craning his neck, Severus see the upset blond pointing accusingly at her younger, redheaded sister who does, in fact, have artificially rouge-toned lips.

"I just wanted to see what I'd look like."

"You should save your own money for some them!"

"Girls!" Their mother snaps, drawing their attention. She gestures for them to come and they do, once they are side by side in front of her, she takes out a handkerchief and wipes Lily's mouth clean. "That wasn't very kind Lily," she scolds. Turning her gaze to Petunia, she asks, "And is it really worth yelling over love? I remember you playing with mine just a few years ago."

The blond's face reddens. "No..." she grumbles after a beat, "But-"

"No buts!" Mrs. Evans rebukes. A hand on her hip, she commands "Go eat, Pet."

Petunia huffs and there's certainly more clomp to her step as she comes to the table, however, she doesn't fight the dismissal. Once in her spot, her eyes find Severus's watching her.

"What are you looking at?" She sneers, but it's without much venom and for that, Severus is grateful.

"...What were you thinking Lily?"

"...I just wanted to try some on..."

"...You know to stay out of your sister's things..."

"...I'm sorry..."

"...I should hope so, if I catch you or Pet catches you using it again I'll make you buy her a new one!" The woman threatens. "Now, to the table!" She orders, swatting at her youngest daughter's behind as she goes.

Coming to the table, Lily notices the colorful card in front of Severus as she reaches for the batch of eggs in the middle of the table. "What's that?" The girl asks.

Lifting the letter for her to see better, Severus finishes his bite of toast and explains "It's an invitation to Josh's birthday part-do you want to come?"

Verdant eyes blink slowly. "Is that okay? Will he mind?"

Severus nods precisely as he gives the letter to her. "He said I could bring you with, he invited all of our year in Ravenclaw." Once the letter is in Lily's hand, Mrs. Evans finally comes and sits down.

"What do you two want to get for your friend?"

"A book."

"A book."

They say this simultaneously, which leads them both to giggling.

"Do you think he'd mind a muggle book?" Lily questions.

"No, he's half muggle."

"What do you think he'd like?"

"Tolkien?" Severus suggests with a little smile.

"Ha, ha, if we're going for the fantasy angle why don't we buy him  _The Wizard of Oz_?"

"Those books are silly, get him  _The Outsiders_." Petunia suggests, earning more than one curious stare. She shrinks back, blushing heavily. "It  _is_ good."

Mrs. Evans stares at her eldest daughter with a frown. "That's the one your father and I told you you couldn't read," she comments. Petunia glares defiantly at her breakfast.

The blue-eyed woman sighs. "Love, I'm not mad..."

"Then what are you?" The girl demands viciously.

"Disappointed, I suppose," Julie admits going back to her breakfast.

Severus and Lily hurry up and leave, letting Petunia and Lily's mom have the privacy they need to talk. There's no yelling and Severus doesn't know if that's a good thing or even worse.

* * *

"Severus!" Josh shouts, hurrying over to his friend. Grabbing his wrist to drag him over to the gift table, he says, "You and Lily are the first ones to arrive!"

Setting aside the gift, Severus nods. "How many people could make it?"

"Oh, just about everyone-Charity had to cancel 'cause she got the mumps." His gaze flickers to Lily, "Sorry you'll only have Greta and Marlene to talk to-they like to gossip."

The redhead smiles. "Oh don't worry about me!" Winking, she says "This is your day after all!"

"Thanks! I think this is the happiest my mum's been all summer-she likes planning things, you see." The brunette chuckles.

"Hey! What do you want us to do with your presents!" Robert Wood shouts walking in with Otto right behind him.

"The table over here!" His fellow Ravneclaw calls, gesturing to the table.

Slowly, the backyard fills with first years going on second years and a few adults and teenagers meander outside from inside the house too. Severus finds as he talks football with Josh and takes turns dancing with the girls as they sidle up to him and the other boys as music plays from a radio near the house that he's actually having a lot of fun. Here he is all of twelve years old and life already seems to be turning itself around; he's spent the summer with a couple who treat him more like a son than his own parents had (and he always feels guilty when he compares mum to Julie, because he knows it isn't  _fair_ ), with a girl who's more antagonistic than even the best antagonist-but she's been getting better, hasn't she? Or at least she knows to hold her tongue now. The best part, he's decided is that he's spent nearly everyday side by side with his best friend: Lily.

Her head bobs in time with the music as he sways side to side with her. "C'mon Sev! Here comes the crescendo, you'll spin me, won't you?" She demands with a impish light to her eyes.

Severus smirks. "Of course," and he does; earning peels of laughter from her pink-painted lips ("It looks better on me than red, don't you think?").

When he pulls the redhead back, she stumbles and falls into his chest. "Oops," she whisper; her so very green eyes staring into his.

"It's okay," he murmurs, the music dying out somewhere in the background as roars of laughter rise up from the adults of the party.

Pink lips jerk up, smashing into his for all of a second. Stunned, Severus can do nothing as Lily pulls away a grin on her face and her eyes hazy. "I hope you liked your first kiss, Sev." She flits away, leaving him in the middle of the lawn to return to the sides of the squealing-duo; Greta and Marlene.

Lifting a hand to his mouth, the dark-haired youth is surprised by how it tingles. Is that what kissing is supposed to do? A hand clamps down on his shoulder, causing him to jump. "So, how many times have you done that over the summer?" Robert questions jovially as him and the other twelve-year-old boys come to congregate at his side.

He shakes his head. " I-we haven't," he mutters; a light pink rising up on his face.

"D'you think they dared her?" Otto inquires, sending the trio of giggling girls a quizzical glance.

Mark, a frown a little too much like a scowl overcoming his features grunts "I wouldn't put it past them."

"Was she any good?" Josh asks.

"Josh!" Severus hisses, face burning red now.

"C'mon mate! We're just messing with you!" Robert laughs, giving him a light shake. And for once in his life, Severus believes that these boys mean no harm and are actually just teasing him.

Severus never wants the summer to end (he isn't the only one).

 


	30. Head Held High

It took a lot of plotting (and headaches), so much so in fact that Severus would have ripped up more than one of the letters if Lily hadn't been there to keep him from following through. As they bump and jostle through Diagon Alley, Severus thinks it might just end up being worth it, though. Coming to Flourish and Blotts; Lily waves to her parents,

"We're going to run in here to pick out our books, okay?"

Mr. Evans frowns at them. "What about lunch kids?" He shouts after them as Severus grabs the store's door handle.

"We'll eat when we get home!" With nothing left to say, Severus grabs Lily's elbow bringing her in with him.

Once past the threshold, the girl takes her arm back and frowns at the dark-haired boy. "Merlin! Dad's gonna be mad that he didn't get the last word!" She grumbles, coming to stand equally at his side.

Sending her a furtive look before return to his search for familiar faces among the animated throng of adults and children, Severus demanded, "He won't take a belt to us for it, will he?"

"Uh, no!" The redhead gasps, quite shocked by the candidness of the demand.

Spying a waving hand toward the back of the shop, Severus snagged Lily's sleeve and muttered, "Than there's nothing he can do to us." Leading them off to the Magical History section of the store (even grown wizards avoid the section). Coming over, he sees Remus propped up against one of the shelves studying a book about Lycanthropy and Sirius juggling a pile in his hands.

Grinning at them, the boy's eyes twinkle. "I thought you'd never show up!"

Lily can't help but blush as she explains "Mum and dad got distracted jabbering with a sales woman in Magical Menagerie when we stopped to take a quick look at the cats-I'm thinking of getting one for my birthday."

Sirius scoffs as Severus wanders about the isle, his fingers brushing over the titles of books he's never considered possible to have a history on. "You don't want some silly cat!" He argues, "Get an owl! They're way better; you can use 'em to deliver letters  _and_ you can teach 'em a trick or two!"

The remark seems to amuse the girl as she says, "I'll take that in to consideration, Sirius."

As Severus wanders within reach of Remus's arm, the fair-haired youth strikes-causing the slighter boy to startle. "How are you Severus?" The Gryffindor implores, closing the book and slipping it into his satchel.

Staring him down, Severus nods. "Good," he answers, "Lily and I went to a birthday party for Joshua Hilliard last week."

"Oh? That doesn't seem like your cup of tea..."

"It's not-usually," The dark-haired boy concedes, "But..." his eyes flicker to Lily. Easing himself criss-cross in front of Remus, the Ravenclaw goes on to explain, "I'm worried about Lily."

Not even having to feign interest, the werewolf leans forward. "Oh?" he murmured. "Whatever for? She's smart."

The boy averts his gaze, a blush playing out on his face. "It's not that..." he sighs, "Her roommates-" he halts mid-speech. "I don't think she has any girl-friends at Hogwarts."

Remus frowned. "I know Gryffindor was treating her like a pariah for a while, but...no friends?"

Giving a very resolute nod, Severus mutters, "I want her to be happy, I thought if she could meet the girls in Ravenclaw she would like them just as much as they liked her..."

"So they liked Lily?" Remus prods, trying to understand what Severus is telling him.

The dark-haired boy frowns. " _Everyone_ likes Lily when they meet her-even after, what happened with her roommates...I think it was on her part? She decided she couldn't be friends with them."

Remus kneads at his cheek with his knuckle. "That sounds confusing," he grumbled.

"It is," Severus agreed. "I just know she doesn't want to be friends with her roommates and I think she misses having girl-friends," his faces twists with a bit of resigned-disgust, "She had me helping her paint her nails this summer-'cause 'tuney wouldn't do it and I-"

The fair-haired child smirks. "And you have a soft spot for her!" He giggles.

The Ravenclaw lashes out ineffectually with his foot. "Shut it," he grumbles, "She wasn't pouting at  _you_!"

"Well, well, well!" A voice boomed, the kids turned there head and saw James and Peter looking smug at the end of the row of shelves. "What do we have here?" He sneered, approaching the boys and girl, he leaned in close to Sirius and hissed. "What would your parents say  _Black_ if I told 'em you are in the company of  _half-bloods_ and a  _muggleborn_?" _  
_

Sirius blanched, knowing very well what would happen if his parents heard of his rendezvous. A look of grim determination overcoming his countenance, the dark-haired youth gritted, "What do you want me to do?"

The bespectacled boy grinned. "I want you to  _grovel_ at my  _feet_ ," he smiled.

Sirius got down on his knees, putting his hands on either side of James's feet. "You  _can't_ be serious Sirius!" Lily cried, reaching down to pull him back up.

Normally, he would have found humor in the redhead's words; not today, though. The boy jerked away and snapped, "If I ever want to return to Hogwarts I am!" He meant it to, if his parents heard...He'd be in Durmstrang before he could launch any protest; this would be the straw that broke the camel's back.

And Sirius didn't want that. Not at all.

"James, be reasonable-" Remus tried to placate, but the said-boy's face flared red and he stamped his foot (nearly landing on Sirius's fingers in the process)

"No!" He shouted, "You're both a bunch of lousy traitors! We were gonna be somethin'! Somethin' Hogwarts would talk about hundreds of years to come! But-" he shut his mouth. Glare falling down on the other boy's crown. "Where's my grovelling?"

Suddenly rigid, Sirius started "Oh my-"

"Sirius!"

Everyone turned. There, at the end of isle was little Regulus Black. Scowling at his brother, the older Black growled. "Go away you pest!"

The boy didn't move, staring at his brother and then to James. "What's going on?" He whispered.

Grinning devilishly at the youth, the messy-haired boy replied, "You're brother's about to tell me how superior I am to him-if you want to watch."

The younger boy's lips quirked down. " _Toujurs pur*_ " Regulus murmured. Stepping towards them, the boy proclaimed, "If anyone should be grovelling it's you Potter! You're blood is filth in comparison to ours!"

The twelve-year-old was left speechless, but not the boy's brother who was up in an instant and after his brother. "What the bloody hell are you even saying you little drone!?" He hissed, pulling the younger child up to his height by his collar, "You  _fuckin'_ purest! You're going to be just like mum and dad! An arse who doesn't know a thing and because he's so rich so he can pretend to know stuff more even though he's just throwing money around to keep his status!"

Shaking his brother, Sirius screamed, "Get out of here! If you tell mum and dad about this I'll  _kill_ you!  _Kill you_! Got that?!" He spits, shoving the boy away. Pale and shaking badly, the younger Black runs.

Returning to James, Sirius dropped to his knees and inquired calmly, "Now, where were we?"

* * *

James stuck around to listen to Sirius's praise only for a couple of uncomfortable minutes before saying it was enough and walking away with a very nervous Peter trailing after him. Staring at Sirius in a new light, Severus thinks to question,

"You really would kill him, wouldn't you?"

Serenely the other boy smooths the wrinkles from his robe and nods. "I would," he concurs, "Regulus is just a puppet-hardly a person at all."

Lily for her part, looks quite livid. "How can you say that?!" She hisses, "He's your brother!"

Grey eyes unnaturally still, the Gryffindor counters "What about you Lily? What does your sister think of you?" He asks softly, "I bet she doesn't think much you, does she? I heard the way you talked about her, wrote about her, she absolutely  _hates_ you."

The girl goes speechless, lip wobbling and eyes watering. Severus steps in, protecting his friend. "She's getting better! She was almost nice yesterday when she watched the tellie with us!" He defended.

Sirius hummed. "I got to be going-can't have Regulus letting it slip, you know," he tells them before walking away leaving a trio behind.

"He's scary," the redhead whimpers.

Remus who appears so very shaken, tosses his head side to side in denial. "H-He was just-mad," he finishes lamely.

Severus, though, understands Sirius than either of them either can. That drive, that  _need_ to be something else...it's Slytherin, it's what they are even if they deny it and cloak themselves in blue and gold; nothing will ever dampen that smoldering ambition.

Glancing between Lily's teary eyes and Remus's white face, Severus knows he cannot give them the truth and so buoys the werewolf's excuse. "Remus is right, he was just mad Regulus saw him like that-you'll see, when we get back to school he'll be right as rain."

The smiles they give him affirm this belief and he feels both better for it and worse for it. Is lying to them good for them? The bitter taste on his tongue says it isn't...but the smirk that tugs easily at his mouth tells him otherwise.


	31. Summer's Gone and Past and Left us Behind

Lily's mother hugs them both. "Oh I'm going to miss you!" She exclaims in particular as she loudly kisses her youngest daughter's cheeks. "Be good, alright?" She begged, fixing the red hair that fell wildly around her baby's face. "And don't forget to write!" Her sharp gaze finds Severus, who waits with Paul's heavy hand on his shoulder (but it's not so heavy, he realizes, it's  _reassuring_ ) "You too young man!"

The boy bobbed his head. "Of course," he relented and sighed when Julie beamed at him.

"Are you going to say goodbye to your sister and friend Pet?" Mr. Evan prompts of his eldest daughter who stands crossed-arm, gaze drifting distastefully among the wizards and witches that buzz about them.

After a grudging pause, the girl stepped toward Lily and leaned in giving her a stiff hug. "Until holidays Lily," she muttered mechanically.

The younger clings to the blond. "You'll write me, won't you?" She pleads, emerald eyes yearning for her sister's answer.

The teenager's mouth opens-her lips curved in an ugly way, when her sharp shoulders drop. "Yes," she replied in monotone.

A brilliant smile lights Lily's face. "Thank you!" She squeals, jumping up to peck her sister's cheek. "Thank you 'tuney..."

Petunia blinked and rubbed absently at the spot Lily's lips touched her cheek. "Of course," she mumbled as she turned to Severus.

The Ravenclaw, though, was not fooled. He understood Petunia as she understood him-they were nothing to one another, people crossing in the night, if you will. "Goodbye Petunia," Severus says.

The elder hums quietly, "I assume you do not care if I write you?"

"I'll just read Lily's letters," he answers.

"Goodbye then," she finished, stepping back to sink into herself once more.

Paul comes forward kissing his baby's crown. "By lovely," she tells her; "Now, get on before the train leaves without you!"

"It won't!" The girl laughed, grabbing one end of her trunk and her best friend's hand. "Let's get going!" She chirped and hardly waiting for Severus's assenting nod, they are off.

* * *

Smoothing the wrinkles from his shirt even as he scowls, Sirius's mother sharply orders, "Watch out for your brother today, you hear me? If you don't..."

"He'll tattle on me, I get it," The Gryffindor grumbled as his mother frowned at him and Regulus clung shyly to their father's sleeve.

Mother tugged especially sharp at a lock of his hair as she ran a hand over it. "If you don't," she started, "Everyone will think you are an unkind brother."

"Why should I care what they think?" The boy argued, "He's a little sneak anyway!" He snapped, gaze smoldering as it finds the younger in question.

Father speaks this time. "Pleas Sirius," he murmurs, "Just listen this  _once_."

Crossing his arms, but relenting, the youth exhaled with great dramatics. " _Fine!_ " He grits.

Regulus casts as searching look between his mother and father. "Mother?" He prods.

The woman turned pulling her youngest to stand beside his brother. Almost fondly, her hands skim over Regulus's cheek before running once more down Sirius's uncontrollable hair. "We expect a letter from each of you after the sorting," she reminds them. "Now off with you!" She concluded, shooing them away.

Snagging his brother's robe, Sirius drags them off toward the train. "Come on," he mutters, hardly caring if the younger has his trunk in his grip as they go.

Somewhere in between getting on the train and leaving their family, Sirius feels something hit him and the hoot of laughter. Bringing a hand to his hair, he notes with both disgust and misery it is Hubbard's flavorever bubble gum. Leaving it be because he knows that attempting to take it out under these circumstances will only make it worse, the twelve-year-old steals himself and hurries faster for the safety of the train.

"Sirius?" His brother implores quietly.

Glaring at him, the older hisses, "Don't say  _anything_." The younger ducks his head and Sirius doesn't do anything until they are on the train and he knows his parents can't see them. Shoving him away, he sneers "Why don't you go find Narcissa, huh? I'm sure she'd love to  _coo_ about how cute you are!" And with that, leaves his stunned brother to find his friends.

It takes a few minutes, a bit of fumbling and dodging, but he manages to find Remus safely tucked away in an empty compartment with a book propped on his knees. Opening the door, he attempts to swagger in with a mischievous grin. "Long time no see!" He declares loudly, forcing that smile wider and wider even as he realizes that he must look an utter wash with the bags beneath his eyes and the gum in his hair.

Setting aside his book, the fair-haired youth takes in his friend's appearance. "You have gum in your hair," he remarks.

The apparent confidence that buoyed the Gryffindor's grin seems to leave him in a gush of air. "I know," he sighed.

Wriggling his fingers for him to come closer, Remus doesn't touch it as he inspects his friend's hair. "That's in there deep," he comments.

"I don't suppose you have any peanut butter?"

"No."

Flat eyes meet Remus's. "I guess I'll just have to cut it..."

"But-"

"There you guys are!" Lily happily greets bounding into the little room with Severus at her heels. "We've been looking all over!" She babbles, "We ran into your brother by the way, Sirius, he looked lost so-"

Severus takes a step aside and Regulus, hunched in and nervous, refuses to look in his brother's direction. Tense instantly, the older Black begins to thrum. "I thought I told you to get lost!" He snarls.

The younger opens his mouth and holds his hands out helplessly. "She insisted..."

"You should have  _refused._ " Sirius grumbled.

"Hey now," Remus rebukes, grabbing Sirius's sleeve.

The larger boy, though, does not heed his friend. "Do you realize what you're doing to yourself, huh?" He demands of the younger, "Do you realize that being with three Gryffindors and a Ravenclaw that you're setting yourself up to be a pariah? Just because the girls like you isn't going to help anymore, they aren't going to have any influence on your roommates." Glaring, he snorts. "You'd think someone who wants to be a Slytherin would know how to make the right connections, not the  _wrong_ ones!"

"Are you saying we're not going places?" Lily barks angrily. "Are you saying were worth less than a Slytherin?!" She demands, "Are you Sirius Black!"

"Lily..." Severus whispers, attempting to hold her back.

Taking up the argument, Sirius takes that step forward. "To the likes of him we are! We're nothing but trash to a little traditionalist like him!"

"STOP!" Remus roars unexpectedly. Coming between the hot-headed pair, he looks sharply between them and to the dark-haired boys that hover behind Lily. "You look ridiculous Sirius," he starts, "Fighting with Lily over something so trivial with  _bubble gum_ in your hair." Next pointing to Lily, he says, "And you! You've hardly been here two minutes and you're already arguing with Sirius!"

The girl pauses. "He shouldn't treat his brother like he does," she whispers, "It's not right."

"I'll treat him how I bloody well please!" The boy counters heatedly.

"Stop!" Remus snaps. "Everyone just stop!" His gaze finds Severus's, "Don't you agree?"

Clearing his throat, the Ravenclaw nods. "What house your brother wishes to be in does not matter," he mumbles and when the other opens his mouth to protest, the dark-eyed youth raises his voice and says "We both know that we were a hair's width from being in Slytherin ourselves..."

Face an angry red, the older Black splutters. "Speak for yourself!"

"I do," Severus follows. "I  _was_ nearly in Slytherin! I would have! I would have gone there and everything could be different right now! Mum might-" He stops. He's had a year, a  _whole_ year to think about all of the "what if..."s he doesn't know if it would have stopped her from doing what she did; he likes to think so, though. She would have been so  _proud_ if he had been in her old house...

Clenching his fists, Severus suggests, "Let's not fight." Looking to Lily and then the pink gum glaring in Sirius's hair, he says "Lily can get that out for you-she's done it enough times with her hair when we were learning to blow bubbles..." looking to Regulus who hovers just beside the door, he whispers "Be where you want to be, alright?"

The younger is slow, hesitant, but he eventually takes a seat next to where Remus's things are. Nodding his acceptance, Severus flicks his lips into a more pleasant expression and focuses his attention on Remus. "How was your last few days home?" He implores politely and soon, the compartment fills with soft conversation and the thrum of the train as it moves on to Hogwarts.

* * *

 


	32. What's Lost can't be Found

Fingers digging into the yielding wood as the hat slips over his eyes shielding him from the bright stares of his fellow students, Regulus feels his mouth go dry at the hat's whisper;

" _Another Black I see,_ " He wants to tell the hat he's not just any Black, that he's  _different_ but as the Sorting Hat begins to sort through his most inner-self Regulus finds himself utterly speechless and can do nothing when that hoarse voice whispered to him:

" _Yes...you'll do very well there..._ "

* * *

_"Ravenclaw!"_

Severus isn't quite surprised but he can't say he expected it either. Clapping along with the rest of his house, he watches the hat be lifted off Sirius's brother's face and sees the boy pale and wide-eyed take a shaky step towards their table. Evidently, the boy wasn't expecting to be sorted here either. As he comes closer lost eyes darting around for an empty spot, Severus nudges Joshua to move and gets up waving a hand to signal the first year his way.

He knows what it's like not to have anywhere to go.

In what could either be called humbleness or shock, the younger Black ducks his head as he falls in between Severus and Josh. His fellow second year pats Regulus's shoulder with a smile.

"Congratulations!" He half-exclaimed, half-whispered in deference to the next child's sorting.

Tears pooling quickly in his eyes, the first year shakes his head at them. "I didn't tell the hat no," he whimpered. Severus felt a pang of sympathies. "Mum and dad are you going to  _hate_ me!" He hiccups.

"No they won't!" Joshua gasped, eyes fluttering wide at the sentiment behind the young Black's words.

Severus, though, knew that it was a lie and so did Regulus. Instead of refuting Joshua's words, Severus instead glossed over them as he leaned in close enough that all the blue-gray would see are his own black. "You will make friends here-just as I, your brother, Lily and every other student of Hogwarts has and does; you will think of them as your family." He explained.

The older Ravenclaw sees something like hope ignite in the younger's eyes and with that, he pulls away to return his attention to the sorting. It's as he watches that he catches from the corner of his eye an intense stare from the Slytherin table. With further consideration and a well-time glance, he deduces it to be Sirius's and Regulus's cousin Narcissa. Why she looks his way is understandable. He's already revealed that he is friends with Sirius, it made sense to believe that the idiot's influence would turn his interactions toward Regulus spiteful.

Thankfully for Regulus, Narcissa and himself; he partook little interest in the gossip he heard and made a point of believing Regulus couldn't be nearly so awful as Sirius tried to make him out to be. Obviously, it paid off if the boy was in his house, sitting next to him as they watched the sorting. Daringly, as the sorting finishes, Severus meets Narcissa's stone gaze.

The blond's face is fierce for all of a second before she relaxes and instead quirks her lips at him as her eyes glitter like untarnished armor. He knows that he's passed some sort of test and he realizes it's only a matter of time before she, or a friend of hers, seeks him out to ask about Regulus and Sirius. So nodding his head at her in recognition, he accepts this fact and tunes into Dumbledore's speech.

* * *

As dinner finishes up and the younger years are ushered off to their dorms, Severus breaks away-taking Regulus with him to meet with Lily. The redhead greets them with a large smile.

"You're in Ravenclaw with Sev! Congratulations Regulus!" Lily oozes as they butt through the throngs of people to get to Remus and Sirius who already wait outside the stream.

Meeting them, the older Black sulkily steps forward to whack his brother on the back. "Didn't think you had it in you to deny dearest mummy and daddy, brat."

The younger's face crumples and he rubs desperately at his eyes. "The hat didn't let me  _talk_!" He wails.

Lily immediately begins to fret. "Oh no! Don't cry!" She pleads, taking one of his hands and enclosing it with her own. "It's okay! It's okay.." she soothes eventually taking him in a hug. It's an awkward thing, Regulus is already taller than Lily (just as Sirius is) and the younger boy's sobbing into her hair as his fingers clench at her robe as the second year Gryffindor attempts to sway with him like she would if it were a baby she held in her arms.

Sirius for his part looks befuddled as Severus falls into place beside him. "What's with the look, Sirius?" He asks.

"Why's he  _crying_? Mum and dad aren't going to be upset about him being in Ravenclaw! Mum's great aunt was a Ravenclaw and she always goes on about how respectable a lady she always was!" He explains in a huff.

Severus finds it ridiculous that Sirius should need this told to him, but he does it anyway. "Your brother-unlike you- _wants_ to please your parents, being in Ravenclaw won't do this, as far as he is concerned and unless someone can get that through his thick skull..."

"I can!" Sirius declares proudly, marching forward he whisks his brother away from Lily who's finally stopped  _hugging_ him and yells over his shoulder "We have to write a letter to my parents! See you guys later!"

Regulus casts them a fearful eye, however, Severus just smirks. Turning to his two remaining friends, he says "Any interesting new recruits for Gryffindor?" He's keen on hearing about any girls that Lily could make her friends. Unfortunately for her, there group seems to be only growing in males.

Remus shrugs. "A few boys, a few girls-Lily who was that one you talked to?"

"Oh? That Layman girl? She was just complimenting me on my necklace;" she answers, picking at the single pearl hanging from the gold chain.

Severus latches on to it. "Did she seem nice?" He inquires.

The redhead gives him a miffed look-then again, Severus rarely showed much interest in anyone. "I'd say so, but you know never judge a book by it's cover;" her lips lift and with twinkling eyes she continues with "I'm not setting you up with anyone, just so you know."

The Ravenclaw blushes. "That's not what I meant!" He growls as Remus lets out a hoot of laughter.

"W-What  _did_ you mean then?" The fair-haired boy inquired between snickering.

Severus opens his mouth and averts his eyes as his face heats more. "Just forget it!" He snaps, Lily doesn't want to hear about he's worried for her.

"Don't worry, I'll find out what her type is;" The girl teases as Severus buries his face in his hands.

"Please don't," he begs.

Poking his shoulder, Remus smirks; "Afraid she likes brawn over brains?" The Ravenclaw moans and tries to drawn out the rest of their good-nature jokes (because even if it isn't mean, it's still  _embarrassing_ ).


	33. Into the Night

"I can't wait to get the letter back from them! Just imagine what they'll write! It'll be great! They'll finally have to agree that Slytherin isn't  _the_ best 'cause neither of us are there!" Sirius prattled to his brother as he lead him up the West Tower.

Regulus, however, is subdue and doesn't respond to any of the chatter. Having reached the owlery, Sirius began to say something different; "There should be a shelf-ah! Here we are!" He exclaimed pulling out two sheets of parchment from a niche along with a quill and ink-well. "Should we just write one letter you think?"

The younger doesn't care and so he shrugs. Sirius smiles; "Yeah one letter should do," Regulus felt his lips pull down. It was good to know that he was still just a sounding board to his brother (at least this time he was finding agreement in his countenance). Tapping the almost bald feather on his chin, Sirius inquired; "How does this sound?  _Dear mother and father, sorry to disappoint you; but you now have two non-Slytherin sons. A Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. Though, that's not really a surprise, is it? We've always known winged creatures were better than dullards who slyther around on their stomachs."_

That impish twinkle that Regulus both dreads and hates is alight in Sirius's eyes. Glowering at his brother, the younger boy feels his face grow hot. "Don't write that!" He growls, "You'll just upset them!" And that's the last thing the Ravenclaw (not Slytherin, not what mother and father wanted- _he_ wanted _)_ wants to do.

His brother cocks his head. "Yeah?" He demands. "They'll know it's from me, so why should they be upset with anyone but me?"

"Just you?" The younger brother inquires suspiciously, why should Sirius not try to throw him in the fire? He's made it clear numerous times that he hates Regulus.

Sirius swoops forward, arm around his brother's shoulder. "Duh Reg!" He scoffs, "You aren't a slimy-Slytherin, why shouldn't I help you out from time to time? You  _are_ my brother after all."

"No," Regulus returns disgusted. "No," he shakes his head taking himself closer towards his escape. "You can't-" he frowns at the confusion welling on Sirius's features. "Just because I'm not Slytherin, doesn't mean that I am not with them in spirit!" Trembling with adrenaline and anger he roared; "I didn't want  _this_!" Hand waving at himself. "I wanted- _want_ to be an esteemed wizard! You may think you can strike out on your own, deny that the Blacks birthed you; but I  _know_ and  _everyone_ will always  _know_  that you are  _toujours pur_ and it is not something you can make disappear Sirius! There's nothing  _wrong_ with using our privilege, with following tradition. I mean, it works, doesn't it?"

The young Ravenclaw doesn't know what else he can possibly say to prove to his brother that being what they are  _isn't_ evil and in the murk of his stupefied appearance Regulus sees the sparking rage. Without a glance back, the boy runs down the steps of the tower. Getting lost will be the least of his problems if Sirius comes after him.

* * *

Lily and Remus and Severus spent quite a while together walking the halls of Hogwarts before curfew and when they felt it come upon them, Lily offered to walk with Severus back to his dorm ("You can't," he said. "You always walk me back," she told him. He had no argument after that). What she  _hadn't_ expected was for the second year Ravenclaw girls to jump on her.

She may not have expected it, but she enjoyed talking girls-things with other girls. She had missed it. Severus stayed faithfully at her her side for quite a while, but eventually with enough calling and prodding, he let himself be whisked off by his roommates. Lily was glad to see that see that his year mates wanted his company, she had feared a bit that he'd be just as much an outcast as she. Soon enough, older years are shuffling them off and one picks her out.

"Hey," she frowns. "What's a Gryffindor doing here?" She looks down her nose at Lily and the redhead dislikes it greatly.

"Saying goodnight to my  _friends,_ " she answers, stressing the end. "It's good to have all kinds-I wouldn't want to become a  _dullard,_ you know."

Mckinnon and Catchlove laugh as Burbage gasped. The older Ravenclaw flushes deeply, "You little-"

"It's alright!" Mckinnon grinned her blond hair mingling with Lily's in solidarity as she swung an arm around her shoulder. "My sister, Alice, she's in Lily's house! And her boyfriend's a prefect too! He'll be picking her up at the end of the hall in a couple minutes." She lied.

The older girl backs off, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "I should hope so," she sneered. "It's not proper to be inviting other houses into our dorm!" And with that, the girl walks off.

"You lied to her!" Charity squealed, eyes a doe-wide brown.

Putting a heavy hand on the other's shoulder, Greta's pudgy cheeks dimple with her grin. "Oh don't worry about that! Trelawney's so uppity!" Leaning in close, she beckoned them and whispers "Besides, I hear that she filches from the older years' stashes and goes to classes tipsy!"

The Ravenclaws and Gryffindor shriek at the remark, the audacity of it making it sensational to their youthful ears. Wiping the tears from her eyes, Marlene Mckinnon grabs Lily's sleeve. "C'mon, let's get you back to your dorm."

Lily bites her lip. "I-" she doesn't want to go back. "Okay," she relents.

Charity's mouth turns down. "What's wrong Lily?"

"Sorry that you won't be near your boyfriend!" Greta chimes in with a teasing lilt.

It draw a soft chuckle. "No," she admits. "I think Severus want someone a little  _younger,_ " and it makes her smirk at the private joke she, Remus and Severus share. Eyes flitting between the trio, she admits; "I actually am having so much  _fun_ with you guys! My roommates absolutely  _loath_ me after last year..."

"That's not alright," Marlene declared. "They shouldn't! From what the boys say, James was the prat!"

"Explain that to them," Lily grumbles.

Biting her lip, Charity offers quietly, "You could share my bed for the night."

"Or maybe the rest of the year;" Greta continues for her friend. "If things are like that in your dorm..." she rubs at her arms. "I don't know how we can send you back in good conscious."

Marlene chews on a blond lock. "Why don't I talk to my sister? She'll set them straight."

Lily doesn't want to get her hopes up, but it sounds like a  _wonderful_ plan. "Would you? And she? Your sister-she won't be bothered by sorting out a lower year issue?"

The taller girl waves a hand. "No she  _lives_ for helping others," a softness comes to her eyes. "That's Alice for you."

"Now come on," Greta presses. "Let's get up to bed-Lily I think something of Charity's will fit you."

"It might be a bit short," said girl continues, "But-you know a lengthening charm don't you Marlene?"

The other nods. "Mother has used it on all of the hammy-downs from Alice-I'm naturally taller!" And she preens a little, strutting and showing off her lithe, long limbs.

Greta looks on a little admiringly. "Always wished I wasn't so squat," she sighs wistfully.

"Oh no!" Charity groans. "Not this again!" Patting her stout friend's arm, she tells her "You're pretty as well! In a different way-like those old Renaissance paintings, in a few years you'll be just as bodacious!"

Watching the girls titter and compliment each other as she trailed after them to their dorm, Lily thought of Regulus's sorting. How much he wished to be in Slytherin. With an aching heart, she considered the possibility that the sorting hat isn't infallible. Maybe she belonged elsewhere. Just as Regulus believes he should be. Lily wonders if she wouldn't have done better in Ravenclaw. The girls are so kind...so accepting; everything she always hoped for in her friends from Hogwarts.

* * *

 


	34. I'm Fine with Changing Status Quo (but...)

"Good luck Severus!"

Lily shouts as she continues on to her Herbology class-leaving the Ravenclaw in front of the potion's room.

"Bye," he replies. Standing there in trepidation, he takes a breath to prepare himself. He can do this. He  _has_ to. Severus ducks his head as he walks into the room. He's a second year in a  _fourth year_ course. If that isn't worth staring at, he doesn't know what is.

"Hey firstie! You're in the wrong class!" Some boy hoots and the dark-haired youth rolls back his shoulders and continues his beeline to Slughorn's desk. Upon reaching it, he calls to the busy man;

"Professor..."

The portly teacher swerves around from the black board and grinned. "Ah Severus!" He exclaimed, coming around to put a hand on his shoulder. Tense and doing his best not to cringe at how close the adult is; the boy keeps his stare on his feet as his potion's professor searches the room.

"I think this is everyone," he murmurs. Taking himself back, he claps his hands several times as he raises his voice to be heard over the mild chatter of teenagers. "Welcome to another year of potions!" He greets, quieting the students. "Before I start in on what this year will consist of, I wish to introduce a new addition to our class!"

Everyone quiets.

Giving him a tiny nudge, Slughorn whispered; "Please tell them your name!"

Startled, the Ravenclaw knows he must look even younger than some of the first years as he peers around his hair and croaks; "I-I'm Severus Snape!"

There's laughter from the back, the Gryffindor boys a more likely candidate than the Slytherins on the opposing side. Feeling his cheeks burn in embarrassment, the dark-haired boy presses his mouth into a think line as the portly man sighed behind him.

"Severus is a second year who will be joining your class this year because of the aptitude he shows in potions!" He gushes this and the boy doesn't like it at all. No better way to be get on someone's bad side than to be a teacher's pet. "I think many of you could learn a thing or two from him as well!" The professor laughs a little at the end, but all of the students are silent. Another nervous sigh. "Mr. Snape will need a partner for this year, is there anyone will to pair up with him?"

"I will professor!" A girl calls.

Head snapping up, Severus sees Narcissa Black batting her eyelashes at him.

"Are you sure Ms. Black? Ms. Huntsman appears rather shocked."

The blond smiles with all her teeth. "Of course professor, Lydia-doll understands; don't you?"

The curly-haired girl shrugged and scooted over. "By all means," she mutters; gazing straight at the Ravenclaw.

"If you're sure..." and once the duo nod, Severus is pushed in their direction by the professor's hand.

Hurrying toward them, Severus falls into the seat waiting for him. Narcissa offers Severus a hand as Slughorn begins his spiel about what the year's curriculum will be about.

"Narcissa Black," she offers. "My cousin, Regulus, he sat by you yesterday at the Wecloming feast, didn't he?"

Taking the hand; Severus puts into practice the etiquette his mother had been teaching him before she died. "Pleasure," he replied; "And yes to your question."

"I also know you are friends with his brother? Sirius?"

"We are well acquainted, yes." He agreed carefully.

A spark came to the girl's eye. "You are very polite," she remarked. "Who is your mother? I'm not familiar with a Snape family."

"...Prince. She was Eileen Prince." He finally told her. "She married beneath her status and I have not had contact with any of her relations."

The teenager's gray eyes glimmer like silver. "A half-blood Prince! I will have to tell my aunt, she will be very pleased to know Regulus has been taken under your wing and she'll be even more pleased to know you are well-acquainted with Sirius. It will put her heart well at ease," she praised in a fashion Severus knew was to stroke his ego in all the right ways.

Instead, he was wondering if he made an ill-decision by telling the Black girl of his lineage. What if a teacher found out? They'd go snooping for relatives...

"Mr. Snape, Ms. Black; I would greatly appreciate if you left your chatter for after class;" Slughorn chides as he passes them by.

"Sorry professor," the two apologize.

A few minutes later, a piece of paper is pushed at him. Scanning it, the dark-haired boy reads;

_Meet me by the knight just down the hall after class, I'd like to speak to you a little longer...I think my boyfriend would be very interested in meeting you."_

Taking the scrap and folding it away, Severus begins to mindlessly scrawl what Slughorn has put on the blackboard. He can't ignore Narcissa's request, if it didn't make enemies for him, it would definitely raise suspicions. And that was the last thing Severus needed. He  _knows_ James Potter is watching him, waiting for the opportune moment to do  _something_.

Struggling to pay attention, Severus wonders if connecting with the Slytherins will cause more problems. It will definitely give Potter more fire. Not only that, but it'll upset Sirius who has made very clear from the beginning what he thinks of the house of snakes. Shoulders curling in, Severus thinks mournfully for the year to come.

Here he was hoping that he could have a nice, quiet year. Peaking a look at Narcissa who  _is_ paying attention to Slughorn-or doing a very good job of pretending to-the dark-haired boy knows with this teenager's agenda, along with James and his own; things will be chaos by Christmas Holiday if he's not careful.

 


	35. Feeling so Good

* * *

_Rubbing her arms, the blond girl keeps her eyes on him. "Think about it, okay? It's months away...but I know Lucius would like to have you there."_

_"Don't you think I should meet him first?"_

_Narcissa grins victorious, as if his question is an answer. "Of course!" She confirms; "I'll let you know when he can meet up for a little chat."_

_Severus bites his cheek. He's backed himself into a corner. There's no avoiding meeting this "Lucius" and likely there will be no possibility to avoid the visit over Christmas Holiday either. Sighing internally, the Ravenclaw nodded. "That will do."_

_The Slytherin gave his arm a quick pat. "You'll see Severus, you and Lucius will get on marvelously!" And with a little wink, she concluded with a pleased; "Adieu!_ _"_

"...Severus!"

"Severus!"

Dark eyes snap to the boy calling for him. "Yes Otto?"

The blue-green gaze on him intensifies. "Are you even paying attention anymore?"

"No," Severus answers bluntly. "As  _fascinating_ as toasters are...I have more important things to think about."

He hears some of the others laugh and Otto Bagman glowers at him. "Yeah?" He sneers. "What's so important? We haven't even been in school  _two full days_!"

The dark-haired boy sits a little straighter and considers the faces of his roommates. Most of them are only twelve. How much better could they possibly understand the tricky politics of house relations? Severus had had it explained to him several times over the years by his mother before she-

"I have been invited to spend a weekend at Lucius Malfoy's home over Christmas Holiday."

There's an appreciative whistle from Robert Wood as the brunette scoots closer to the edge of his bed. "Already? Wow, those Slytherin really  _are_ on top of things!"

"Yes, well," Severus grumbled shifting uncomfortably.

Otto's stare loses its fire and cools to something solemn. "They're an important family."

"I understand that," the black-eyed boy snips, "I'm not some  _muggleborn_!"

"Neither am I," Joshua breaks in; "But I still don't get why this Malfoy kid is such a big deal. What year is he in?"

"Fifth."

A chorus of voices answer.

"Severus, you did accept right?" Mark pressed; blowing his dirty blond fringe from his eyes as he spoke.

The other Ravenclaw hesitates. "I said I thought I should meet with him first," the dark-haired boy replies.

"Good stalling there," Robert compliments. "I hear Malfoy's father has gone around the bend in the past six or so years, he doesn't leave his house much; they say it's 'cause he lost a duel to Potter's father."

"Could someone tell me why the Malfoy's are important!" Josh burst.

Mark scoffed. "I  _know_ your dad was a wizard! Didn't he ever talk about the Sacred Twenty-Eight*?"

The thin boy gets up from his bed and comes to the area between all of theirs. "No, not really; before he was killed he was always complaining about how things were going amok here. Once in a while he'd say he wished we'd all been squibs so we wouldn't have to fuss with it when we get older."

"Talking like that was probably what got him killed," Mark mutters darkly as he flips a page in his Transfiguration book.

"Do you really think that?

Robert says his fellow pureblood an unhappy glance. "No," he argues, "He doesn't-it was a bad joke."

"I don't know about that," Otto contradicted. "Maybe he got killed for his choices, my mum and dad, they've been talking about those blokes in the paper...they kill a lot of muggleborns and half-bloods; sometimes the purebloods who marry muggles too." Hopping on his knees to stand taller, he declared. "But they aren't scared! And neither am I! My dad's an auror and he's on the case!"

Joshua is beginning to look tearful and Severus fears if this line of conversation goes on much longer they'll end up causing some kind of ruckus. Clearing his throat, the dark-haired boy inquired; "Can  _someone_ help me with Transfiguration? I didn't understand a bloody word McGonagall was saying today."

"Sure, I can help..." Everyone relaxes and they are regular twelve year olds with normal school problems once again.

* * *

Scribbling furiously, Lily ignores the laughter around her in the common room. So what if her dormmates still hate her? So what if James was hell bent on antagonizing Sirius and Remus to the point the two don't dare hang out anywhere near the common room before eight?  _So what_? She doesn't care. There's a babble of laughter and then a shadow looming over her.

Reluctantly looking up from her letter, the redhead is forced to wonder who the familiar girl standing in front of her is. "Can I help you?" Lily questions.

"You know my sister, Marlene, right?"

Skeptical, Lily echoes the upper year's question. "Marlene Mckinnon?"

Her brown eyes light up. "Ah wonderful! She was talking so much about you when I saw her in the library earlier...it seems she's worried you aren't having a comfortable time here."

"It's my fault," Lily sighs. "I made them hate me."

The older girl scowls. "Oh no," she disagrees. "That won't do! Where's that Gryffindor spirit love? C'mon, just because your roommates are a bunch of prats doesn't mean you can't make friends with some of us upper years!" And with a wide grin, the brown eyed girl whisked Lily from her lone armchair.

Too dazed, the redhead allows it. Soon, she's seated in a circle with several upper year girls and a boy or two; Marlene's sister puts her right in front of her and tells them all "This is Lily, she's a second year like my sister."

"Hi"

"Hello"

"Nice to meet you Lily"

And it's so  _nice_. It's been such a long time since she's felt wholly welcomed in her house and the girl has to blink back tears as she twists around to hug the other girl around the waist. "Thank you Marlene's sister!"

She laughs and pets the redhead's hair. "Name's Alice, love."

Pulling away, green meets brown and Lily says with all the solemnity a girl of twelve can muster "Thank you  _Alice_."

The older year blinks, seemingly surprised before pulling her to her left. "Why don't you tell us who your favorite teacher is Lily?"

"Yeah, okay!" She agrees with a smile. "It's..."

 


	36. Conspiracies are Blossoming as we Breath

"We're going to have to scrap our plan," James told Peter as they sat huddled near one another in their dorm. "I guess his brother wasn't as much a Slytherin as he thought."

The pudgy one reached out for one of the chocolate frogs that were seated between them. Biting off the head, he muttered; "He's still Ravenclaw."

James scowled and ran an aggravated hand through his hair. "That's all well and  _good_ Peter, but they still don't believe us about  _Snape_!" He growled back.

"D'you think they'll hang out? Sirius doesn't like him and well..." Peter shrugged uncomfortably as the other glowered.

"I saw them  _all_ together," he spat. "I bet by the end of the week they'll be hugging in public!" And he made a hurling noise, "I can already picture the teachers, " _Oh those Black brothers, don't they look like good lads? And there friends with that smart little Ravenclaw..._ ". It's ridiculous! It's like all our trouble will get us nothing!" James grumbled. "I  _know_ he's dark! If only everyone else knew too..."

There was silence between them. It was broken occasionally by Peter gnawing on a Chocolate Frog or James sighing; eventually, Peter whispered. "I saw him with another Black."

"Which one?" James perked up. "The teachers like that older one-Andromeda, she's not drama prone like the other Slytherin girls."

Grinning, the round face youth almost seemed proud as he announced; "No, he was with  _Narcissa_ Black."

"I hear she's going with the Malfoy!" James added happily. "You  _know_ he's heading for the wrong places, my dad always said they were a corrupt sort-especially his father."

Absently, Peter inquired; "He curse him, didn't he? I remember my parents talking about it..."

"Yeah, but he deserved it!" Jame argued, flushing.

A little smile on his lips, the pudgy boy agreed. "Of course he did James, he's a slimy bloke."

"That's right!" He declared while Peter ate through his fourth Chocolate Frog. Considering him, the bespectacled boy smiled softly. "I don't know what I'd do if you'd sided with Black and Lupin, Peter." And he clapped his friend's shoulder, smile absolutely genuine. "You're a good mate."

"You aren't half-bad yourself," Peter smiled as he preened from the praise.

* * *

"I just don't get it Remus!" Sirius whined as he kicked his feet beside the fire. "All he wanted to do when we wrote that letter home was  _apologize_ like ending up Ravenclaw was some sort mortal sin! Sev's in there. If Severus is there, it can't be that bad right?"

The tawny-haired boy put his book aside and leaned in on his elbows. "We've gone over this, he wanted to make your parents  _happy_."

"I don't see why," the other grunted. "They won't ever be happy with what we've done-mother and father, they'll always expect  _more_." And he sounded so very disgusted as he said this that it pulled some sympathy from Remus.

"They only want you to do your best..." He half-reasoned. "But, you have a point. It's not good to not be satisfied either." Remus thought of his own parents. The only thing they ever seemed to hope for these days was that someone would find a cure for his "little problem". He really couldn't disappoint them anymore.

"It' better than a "good point"!" Sirius roared. "It's all that matters! If I have a kid, I'd be happy just to have them! I wouldn't need them to fulfill a whole-whole  _wishlist_ of things to make me say "good job"!" Having jumped from his seat, he stared down the other Gryffindor. "Do you see what I'm saying Remy? Huh? My parents don't love us, they only have us so they can  _brag_ about how wonderful we are or in my case, complain about how  _awful_ we are."

It's such an terrible concept and it disagrees with everything that his instincts tell him, but the tawny-haired boy saw that this was what Sirius believed even in his core. It was not just a youthful idea or spouting of teenage fury. "Why would a couple have children if they didn't plan to love them?" He asked softly, uncertain.

"To carry on the family  _name_ ," Sirius growled. "That's all that matters to the Purists. There always have to be Blacks, Malfoys, Prewetts, Slughorns and Weasleys...if there's not, who's to put the muggleborn and half-blood in their places? No one, that's what! They all think if they didn't exist the Wizarding World would turn to anarchy or worse-! They'd  _expose_ themselves to the muggles who would wipe them out with another witch hunt!"

Thoroughly forced into meekness, Remus whispered; "I'm sorry that's how things are for you."

"Bloody right!" He agreed. "It's why I wanted to be in Gryffindor! I want to prove it  _doesn't_ have to be that way...I wanted James for a friend because his family's so-so  _new-minded_ but..." he bit his lip. "Obviously he wasn't as good a candidate for a best friend as I thought he'd be."

"Wait," Remus frowned. "You didn't become friends with him because you  _liked_ him? But because of what his family is?"

Sirius gave the skinny boy an odd look. "For the first ten minutes, maybe, but then we got to  _talking_ and I realized we actually enjoyed a lot of the same stuff and wanted to do the same sort of things, you know? If I had just wanted him because of what his family stood for, I'd have gone after Longbottom; his doesn't have nasty little secrets just beneath the surface."

"Secrets?"

"Yeah, you know," the dark-haired youth made some motions with his hands; it vaguely looked like a duel (or maybe just an attack). "They say he cursed Malfoy's father when he had his back turned. Not very chivalrous, you know."

Remus hadn't know. His family spent a lot of time moving and most of it in the muggle world. "Oh," he whispered. Swallowing he then asked; "But are you friends with me because I seem like I come from a good family or because you actually like me?"

Sirius grinned. "Aw Remy, do you not trust me anymore? Let me tell you, I was friends with you from the beginning because I liked you. It never had a thing to do with families. You're wicked smart, kind  _and_ know when to crack the perfect joke. How can I  _not_ call you my best mate?" _  
_

The other Gryffindor relaxed. Thoroughly relieved. "Thank you Sirius," he whispered; "That means a lot to me." He just hoped the other would be able to remember that when he found out about his "little problem".

 


	37. Attention, Boys and Girls

It took a bit of looking, asking and a brief moment of glaring; but he won entry into the Ravenclaw first year's dorm. Sweeping into the room, he saw Sirius's brother curled up in one of the beds and another firstie hovering close by. Looking at the pale child, the second year realized he had to get rid of him.

"Scram."

He opened his mouth.

"One, two-" He rose his wand, the boy was gone before he even could even take a breath.

Coming to the younger's side, he hesitated, but knew he had to and so he reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. "I hear you missed your first day of classes."

Regulus tensed. "So?" He demanded gruffly.

"I had your brother tell all of your teachers that you were under the weather so a letter wouldn't go home to your parents."

The Black brother rolled over, eyes squinted as if he was taking in the sight of Severus for the very first time. "You aren't  _really_ a Ravenclaw are you?"

"Of course I am, I got upped to your cousin's year for potions didn't I?" The dark haired boy chided. However, despite his remark, Severus felt his hear thud a little harder against his rib cage. He had to be careful he realized, this wasn't just any old first year he was talking to. This was a firstie that had been toeing the same line he had just the year before.

Sitting up, feet now swung over the edge so they just barely scrapped the stone floor; Regulus gazed up. "So what do you want?"

"You're going to go to classes today for one," he told the boy. "You will say hello to your brother if you see him in the halls, eat lunch with me and my yearmates, find yourself a potions partner and,  _and_ you will tell that damn cousin of yours to stop bothering me because I won't meet her boyfriend until  _I_ am ready."

Sirius's brother smirked. "That's quite the list," he said conversationally. "Does all of that have to be completed  _today_?" It's teasing, the second year notes and he hopes he can keep him in such a mood.

"Motivating your brother is worth twice that, I think you know;" he scoffed with an upward turn to his lips. A giggle. Wriggling his fingers in the boy's face, Severus smiled with all his teeth. "Come along Reg, if we hurry we can have breakfast today."

"Alright."

* * *

Trotting along side his brother's friend (and maybe his), Regulus looked up at the stolid face with wonder.

"How come you just thought you could walk in and tell me what to do?"

Severus glanced to him, but his expression stayed the same. There was quiet for a moment, then the older year imparted to Regulus "Because you are a sensible sort."

"Sensible?"

A nod. "Exactly. I knew you had to have realized that you couldn't lock yourself away in your dorm much longer without repercussion-you're much easier to work with than your brother in that way."

It was praise and comparison between him and Sirius. It reminded him of how his parents went about criticizing his brother, but it wasn't alike either. While his mother and father did such comparisons to spur action from Sirius, Severus simply said it to state fact. It was nice to know while he was still being compared, it wasn't with the same goal in mind. Severus actually wanted to know what  _he,_ Regulus, was like as a person. Not just as a foil to his older brother.

He was taken from his thoughts with an almost gentle jab to his ribs. "Hey," Severus mumbled. "Are you listening?"

The boy blushed. "Sorry," he muttered.

"Who was that kid in your dorm before? The one I had to shoo out."

"Oh that was Quirrell," he answered meeting the older year's gaze.

Severus nodded. "Josh was like that."

"Who?"

His brother's friend's eyes twinkled. "My friend, I think."

"So..so he Quirrell wants to be my friend?" And it feels quite novel to say such a thing. In Slytherin, the word "friend" was not used so liberally and with the same connotation.

Severus considered him with a simmering look. Like he wasn't sure if he should say something winded or keep it precise. Eventually, the dark haired boy remarked "If he sticks around when you're moping before he's hardly known you a couple days, I'd say he's a good sort. The kind that will stand by you."

"Okay," and Regulus smiled. It wasn't a decisive answer, but how could he expect it to be? The upper year did not read minds and could only gauge him an answer from what little he witnessed of this boy he did not know.

"We're coming to the Great Hall, be ready to wave at your brother."

"Do I have to?" Regulus whined.

Severus raised an eyebrow. "He's your brother."

The boy let his stare fall. "That's something father would say."

"Really?" The dark eyed boy drawled. "Maybe they aren't as nasty as Sirius would have us believe." Shifting his eyes, he jerked him by his sleeve. "Now, come on." A moment later they slipped into the hall and Severus lifted a hand. Looking that way, he saw he was responding to his brother and his friend's waving. Hesitant, Regulus did the same.

(Sirius smiled. Sirius  _grinned.)_

"Go on," Severus said, nudging him toward his yearmates. "Check in with me at lunch."

"Oh okay," and Regulus drifted off toward the kids in his year. Coming over, he cleared his throat and it was Quirrell who looked up.

Scooting over a little, he smiled. "Hello."

"Hi."

Taking a spoonful of his porridge, Stebbins frowned at him. "Finally think your good enough for us, do you?"

"No!" Regulus scowled, turning red. "The last couple days have had nothing to do with you!" And he means it. The last couple days had been him mourning and adjusting to the fact that he'd never be the Syltherin his parents had wanted.

The boy scoffed, but it was a girl who flicked a grape at him that took his ire away. "Don't be a prat Steven," she hissed. "His parents are probably the kind that want to up hold "family tradition" like mine. My mom said I shouldn't bother coming home if I wasn't in Ravenclaw." Her auburn strands drifted into her face as she bowed her head. "She said she was joking-and maybe she was, but she also meant it too."

"Sorry," Steven muttered, ears a deep red.

"You should be!" The girl sniffed. She looked to Regulus then. "Sit down!" She half-barked, half-exclaimed.

Scurrying to follow direction, he fell into the spot between Quirrell and Stebbins. "Uh, hi nice to meet you. What's your name?" He inquired holding out a hand for her.

She laughed, cheeks dimpling. "I'm Daisy Hookum!"

"You're grandpa was the muggle studies teacher, wasn't he?"

She nodded. "Up until a couple years ago when he had that fall."

"I see," Regulus mumbled realizing he had nothing else to say. Luckily, or maybe out of pity, Quirrell saved him.

"You missed yesterday," the pale boy commented. "Why don't we fill you in?"

Grateful, the Black boy felt his shoulders slump in relief. "That would be nice, thanks."

"Alright then!" Daisy declared with a clap of her hands. "Let's start with Herbology..."

 


	38. In another Universe They...

"Narcissa!" Someone called; interrupting the girl's interrogation of Severus. However, the dark-haired boy's relief was short lived because she twirled around so quick with open arms to welcome the larger,  _male,_ body that the second year knew he was trapped.

The teenager accepted the hug and all his attention focused on the blond girl in his arms for a moment; "Hello 'cissa, how was potions?"

Kissing his cheek, the grinning fourth year answered; "Splendid." Twisting around she separated herself and waved her hand at Severus. "Lucius darling, this is Severus."

Looking at him, the fifth year frowned. " _This_ is the little prodigy? He's so...scrawny."

"And you are effeminate!"

Narcissa blinked and Lucius blinked. Suddenly, the older boy began to chuckle; a hand resting on his sweetheart's shoulder. "Aren't you something?" He mused with a smile. "In another year that could be a real barb."

Severus scoffed and crossed his arms. It was a barb  _now_ as far as he was concerned; looking around, he wondered if Lily would have the instinct to pass him on if she saw him with the fifth and fourth year. Still with smile toying on his lips, Lucius inquired of him "Would you care to take a bit of a stroll with 'cissa and I?"

"N-"

"Severus!" A familiar, bubbly voice shouted. "Severus!" And with tense shoulders, the dark-haired boy turned to see his redhead friend approaching. Weakly, the boy attempted to tell her to go away with wide eyes and a hand up for stop; but she didn't notice or didn't care and instead came to him and clutched his arm. "How was potions? Are you learning anything neat? Herbology was, well,  _plants._ "

Her addition appeared to throw off the blond couple; Lucius's mouth moved and Narcissa's eyes darted, but neither really gave one definitive sign to what they thought of the girl now hanging on to Severus's arm. Clearing his throat, Severus sent the duo a smirk. "It was-hey, the three of us were just about to go on a stroll! Want to join us?" He implored in his most fake, most innocent tone.

Lily scrunched her nose like she knew something was up, but agreed without issue. "Yeah I'll come."

"Wicked," Severus finished; taking her hand without much notice.

Coming to his side with an arm around Narcissa's waist, Lucius rose an eyebrow at him. "Are we going then?"

"Okay," Severus said and together the two girl and two boys strolled out of the building and into the cooling Autumn air. There first few minutes were awkward, stiff from agitation on both sides; but Lily, being the friendly girl she was, asked "Are you the boy that wants Severus to visit him during Christmas break?"

Lucius's face pulled into a scowl and Severus readied for attack when Narcissa spoke over the top of him. "Yes," she answered. "Lu is."

"That's nice of you!" The redhead enthused. "I get worried sometimes, being in an older year's potion class can't all be fun-especially when you're the  _youngest_. I remember when 'tuney, my sister, got bumped up a year in maths. All the boys were mean to her and would steal her pencils and copy her homework and the girls..." She shook her head. If 'tuney hadn't managed to get the blackmail she did on the popular ones...I think she'd be a lot worse off." _  
_

Surprised, Severus demanded; "When did this happen? I don't remember you talking about it ever."

"She was eleven, so the school year before we came friends I think!"

Narcissa smiled at the younger girl. "You're sister sounds quite slytherin. A pity she isn't a witch, isn't it?"

"It is," Lily agreed glumly. "She really wanted to come to Hogwarts too..."

Lucius, face calculating, remarked; "Maybe after Severus visits I, Narcissa and I could pay you and your family a visit...? For a day?"

"Oh yes!" The redhead concurred. "I think 'tuney and you guys would have a lot to talk about!"

"Lily!" Severus hissed; "I haven't even  _agreed_ to go his home over holidays!"

She blinked. "Why not Sev?"

"Yes," Lucius mimicked. "Why not Sev?"

Frowning, Severus stopped their stroll to snap "Only she can call me Sev!"

"Touchy," Narcissa hummed as she crossed around to Lily's side. "Lily dear, have you ever thought about putting your hair up in a knotted bun? I think you would look absolutely fetching."

"Um.."

Putting an arm around the twelve year old, Narcissa offered to the girl; "Here, why don't I do your hair under that tree there..." Pointing out at a drooping canopy and thick truck a good ten or eleven feet away. "While the boys discuss things?"

"Sev?" Lily questioned.

He sighed. "Go Lils," she grinned blindingly at him and the two went off; tinkling laughter filling the air between them in a matter of a few whispers.

"'cissa likes her, you know," Lucius commented from beside the Ravenclaw.

The boy looked up at the Slytherin's slim jaw. "Everyone likes Lily."

"It's no wonder," the blond murmured; "She has such a-" he twirled his hand in a circular motion. " _Presence_."

It was good to know he recognized it too. Maybe it meant he liked her just as much as everyone else did, maybe it meant she'd be safe even if he wouldn't be when he messed up this interest the fifth year had in him. Taking his dark gaze, he met the gray of the teenagers. "Why are you so insistent I visit over holidays?"

"My father," the other whispered looking just a little sad. "He's-well, not  _good_ and he wants to meet you."

The dark-haired boy lifted an eyebrow. "Why?"

"I can't explain it, but he's been talking about you; 'Keep an eye out for a boy named Severus Snape, Lucius' and 'Have you seen Severus Snape yet Lucius?'." Bringing a hand up, he rubbed at his smooth chin. "I asked once, you know, why he cared so much about you; all he said was you were related to a girl he knew."

"Mother?" Severus perked up. "Mother was a Slytherin at Hogwarts."

Lucius looked away, his eyes going to his sweetheart and Lily. "Possibly," he agreed. "But truly, I don't know;" he admitted unhappily. "Father refuses to say much besides the intensity of his wish to see you."

"I guess if he wants to see me..." The Ravenclaw trailed off, "I'll see him." Maybe he could tell him what mother was like in school. Why he married his father. Why she stayed with him even after he stopped being a good man. He jolted at the feel of a pair of hands taking his hand.

"Thank you," The Slytherin breathed. "Thank you," a small, real smile on his mouth he said "I owe you one, alright?"

Nodding at the teenager, Severus moved away. "Sure," he assented; "Shall we go sit with the girls?"

"Let's," Lucius replied with a quirk of his lips.

As they approached, Lily waved and Severus waved back. Maybe he'd been wrong to want to avoid Lucius and other Slytherins, just because they had a bad reputation didn't mean they were bad people. He of all people should have been more scrutinizing of stereotypes; especially since he'd been judged by them enough times in his life. Glancing at Lucius and then at Narcissa, Severus etched in his mind a simple declaration;

_Always hear a Slytherin-no, **every** house student out before writing them off as typical Syltherins, Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws or Gryffindors._

 


	39. No Defeat, No Victory

"Did you see that?" James awed at Peter from where the stood near the school.

Peter, from beside him, nodded. "He's smiling with  _Lucius Malfoy_!"

"I guess he's a lot closer to Slytherin than we knew..." the bespectacled boy smirked. "Just  _wait_ until Sirius and the rest of Gryffindor hears about this! Oh he's going to go  _ballistic_! Everyone knows he hates those slimy snakes!"

Eager, the pudgy youth brought his hands together. "When are we going to tell them?"

"After dinner? Almost everyone will be hanging out in the common room then." James suggested as he squinted out at the group.

Grinning, Peter complimented his friend. "Great idea James, that's so smart!"

"I know," he murmured in reply.

His eyes stayed on the four. Snape and Malfoy talking with their far too serious faces and Lily, smiling blithely as the Black girl did her hair. The redhead laughed at something open-mouthed, cheeks flushing a pretty pink. James swallowed. She might be talking with the Black, but it was easy to tell who her true focus was. The greasy, broody,  _Severus Snape;_ not once, since he and Peter had spied the group, had Lily's green gaze left the Ravenclaw.

Clenching his fists, James hated his dark-haired rival all the more.

* * *

Strolling into the Gryffindor commons, James grinned at what he saw; students, first to seventh, spread out and lounging on couches and armchairs, talking, laughing, playing exploding snaps and doing homework. This was the  _perfect_ time to tell them what happened. They would hear and then they would  _see_ ; they'd know once and for all that Snape was the wrong sort and when they heard Lily, one of their own, was giggling with _Narcissa Black_ they'd see that Snape was a pied piper of wrong choices and bad paths. Finally they'd be backing him up and not just sitting idly by as their own were lead away one by one to the dark lord's side. _  
_

"Hey!" He shouted out, gathering a number of peoples' attention.

One boy, an older year named Hank Bell yelled "What is it now you troublemaker?!"

Scowling, James's eyes searched out his target. Spotting Lily with Alice Mckinnon and Amelia Bones, he grinned wickedly. "I saw Lily Evans and Severus Snape with  _Narcissa Black_ and  _Lucius Malfoy!_ " The girls beside Lily gasped and the redhead herself frowned. Putting his hands on his sides, the bespectacled boy with a smug smirk asked "What do you have to say about  _that_?"

Fretting with her robe, a sullen and determined gleam lit up her emerald eyes. "They were  _nice_ ," she grit. "Lucius wanted to talk to Sev and Narcissa offered to do my hair while we waited..." her fingers went to the braided up-do that she wore. "Just because they're Slytherins doesn't mean they are  _bad,_ Potter."

"Lily..." Alice started. Her own hand went to the younger's hair. "The Slytherins have a-reputation-and..."

Jerking away Lily insisted. "They were  _nice_."

James bent over with laughter, Peter quickly joining him along with a few other Gryffindors. Alice, for her part, glared at all of them and drew her young friend close. "I believe you when you say they were nice," she told Lily; "But sometimes, sometimes Slytherins are nice because they  _want_ something." Looking her in the eyes, she warned the redhead. "Be  _careful_ , okay? It's well known for Slytherins to have hidden motives and no one wants to see you hurt."

Amelia and several other upper year girls murmured their agreement and James's fellow second year nodded. "I will be."

Sufficiently please with how the girls handled Lily, the dark-haired boy turned on Sirius. He smirked smugly at the pale-face boy. "I guess your friends aren't as great as you thought, huh? Hanging out with people like _Lucius Malfoy_. Everyone knows what his dad did!"

Sirius was up in an instant. "And everyone knows what  _your_ dad did to  _his_ dad!" He roared back.

"My dad didn't do anything that wasn't necessary!" James snapped back. "His bloody father would have done a lot worse to our government if he'd gotten the chance!"

Stepping up to meet his ex-friend, Sirius shoved the bespectacled boy. "You're dad's a psycho!"

"Your whole family's crazy!" James countered, throwing a swing.

Remus and Peter rush forward, pulling at their friends as a Prefect took a step toward them. "Hey! Hey! Calm down.." Remus muttered to Sirius as he patted him on the back and turned him away from Potter. "You need to calm down..."

Sirius tugged away from his friend and pushed back his hair. "I need a walk," he declared as he headed for the door.

"Sirius!" The fawn-haired Gryffindor called, but it was too late. The other had already gone. Turning on James, he growled; "I hope you're happy."

The other gave a wide smile. "I  _am_ ," he replied.

"You disgust me." Remus hissed and then he returned to his and Sirius's spot. Resolving to speak no more.

* * *

"Severus. Severus!" Sirius whispered loudly at his sleeping friend. There was no movement, he reached out and poked the Ravenclaw. "Severus!"

A hand grabbed his wrist and the boy fell back with a yelp as Severus glared at him. "What the hell are you doing in here!?" He demanded as he gave the Gryffindor a good shake. "Are you bloody  _insane_?"

Jerking back, the dark-haired boy answered with a sulky tone; "No."

Sighing, Severus got out of his bed and lead him out of the dorm room. "How did you even get in here?" He asked as they settled in the commons.

"Solved the riddle."

The boy raised an eyebrow at his Gryffindor friend. "How long did  _that_ take you?"

Sirius shifted a bit on the couch. "...an hour."

"Bravo," Severus smirked as he began a slow clap. "I was guessing a few more hours than that."

The Gryffindor scowled. "I'm not  _stupid_."

"I know, you're  _challenged_."

Sirius gave the other boy a friendly swat to the arm. "Shut up you jerk."

Crossing his arms, Severus smirked. "So, what  _did_ bring you here?"

The other stilled. A serious demeanor overtaking him. "I heard you were talking with Lucius Malfoy and Narcissa Black."

"So?" The dark-eyed boy quipped.

Sirius jumped up from where he'd sat. " _So_?  _So?!_ " His eyes flashed with anger. "They're dark-"

"No they're not."

The Gryffindor gaped. "You're  _joking_!"

Severus shook his head. "What are you?  _James Potter_? That's something  _he_ would think! Just because they're in Slytherin doesn't mean they are  _bad._ " He turned his head then. "Besides, as much as you deny it, the two of us were just a wrong thought from Slytherin ourselves."

Looking miserable, Sirius slumped back into the couch. "You don't  _know_ them like I do."

"Maybe not," The dark-eyed boy agreed. "But I do think judgement should be reserved until I actually have evidence that they are dark, don't you agree?"

Sirius could see that this was an argument that he would not win tonight (or tomorrow night, for that matter). So with a great heaving sigh, he got up and told Severus. "Fine. Believe what you want, but when they try and induct you into the Dark Lord's circle don't come crying to me!" And he began to leave.

"Sirius!"

The other paused. "Yeah?"

"Are you mad at me?" Severus inquired in a gentler tone.

He turned his head and grinned. "No," Sirius answered. "I just want thing clear between us."

A tentative smile came to the Ravenclaw's lips. "Thanks," he whispered and with no more to say, allowed the Gryffindor to go.

* * *

"Sirius!" Lily said as she jumped up from the couch. Looking once to Remus who was dozing on the arm, she went to their friend. "Where'd you go so long?"

Yawning into his hand, Sirius replied; "Like I said, I just went on a walk."

She gave him a dubious stare. "You're lying."

"Maybe a little," he chuckled. "I just went to talk with Severus," he explained. "Alright?"

Biting her lip, the redhead asked; "Are you mad at us?"

The dark-haired boy shook his head. "No," he looked away. "Not really."

"They  _were_ nice, you know," Lily said.

Sirius frowned. "You can't trust them Lils, they seem nice but...it's an act!" Beginning to pace he let Lily in on modern wizard history. "Back about six or so years ago, Lucius Malfoy's father somehow got the Minister to resign and put in one that was more  _conservative_ if you will. He's a bigot. Believes all that crap about keeping pureblood lines clean of muggle blood and not allowing half-bloods and muggleborns into our world."

Looking at the girl to see if she was understanding what he's saying, he continued on; "Now, James's dad. He's not backwards like that, but he  _is_ the sort of guy who thinks he's the only right one and if you get in the way of his plans...he'll make you regret it. It was about the same time Lucius's dad made the minister resign that James's dad shot a spell on him and the guys hasn't been seen much in public since." He licked his lips. "They say it's 'cause the spell's gone and made him looney."

A hand hovering by her mouth, Lily shook her head. "You all are worse than the muggle world! Hurting each other as you do!"

"We're in a bad spot here is all," Sirius defended. "Give it a few more years, it'll work itself out."

"I sure hope so!" The redhead frowned. "I can't imagine living here or even working here when I'm grown up if I have to worry about getting killed around every corner!"

Sirius pinched the bridge of his nose. "I gave you the wrong idea," he grumbled. "That was a one time thing." He came forward and took her hand. "Look, I'm not saying don't talk to him, I'm  _saying_ be cautious. You never know what Lucius might do."

"He likes Severus," Lily warbled. "He won't do anything to  _me_."

Sirius smiled grimly. "That's what you think." Patting her shoulder, he concluded; "Don't get too worked up, alright? Chances are the guy's just interested because our dear Severus is a right potions genius. Now, if you'll excuse me...I have to get Remus and myself up to our dorm."

Swallowing thickly, Lily murmured; "Goodnight Sirius," and left them alone.

* * *

Crawling beneath her sheets, her mind dancing with horrors and fears, Lily resolved that in the morning she would have a  _very_ serious talk with Severus about what Lucius wanted and how much they could trust him and trust a world like the one they were living in right now.


	40. And Maybe we can be Okay

Walking into the Ravenclaw commons, Severus had a particular mission in mind. Now, if it could be complete was the question...searching the room, he spotted who he wanted. It was Regulus squished close by that Quirrell boy. The upper year found himself nodding at what he saw; it was good that Regulus was settling in to their house. He didn't want to have to worry about integrating him into his own house on top of getting Sirius to stop being an arse with the emotional understanding of a gnat.

Stopping in front of the duo, Severus noted that they were working on transfiguration. He crinkled his nose. The second year certainly hoped they were good at it, because  _he_ wasn't going to try and teach that drivel. Noting his shadow, Quirrel's pale face and the finer double of Sirius's face, Regulus, looked up at him. A bit of a frown tugging at his features, the Black brother asked;

"What do you want Severus?"

The dark-haired youth raised and eyebrow at the younger boys, "I need you to come with me." He told him.

Scowling, Regulus dropped his quill and grumbled; "You're always telling me what to do."

"Yeah, yeah," Severus half-agreed, half-muttered complacently as he pulled the other boy up by his hand. "Hey, Quirrel? I'll have him back by dawn alright?"

It was supposed to be a joke, but the pale face simply kept its appearance of unease as he lowered his stare back to their homework. "I'll put your homework on your bed, okay Regulus?"

"Thanks!" The Black brother exclaimed as Severus began to drag him off.

Walking through the castle's halls to their pre-planned destination, Severus gave his friend's brother a once over. "What's wrong with that friend of yours?"

"Quirrel?" The boy beside him bleated. "Oh nothing, he's always quiet."

Something about him and the way he acted didn't sit well with Severus, but he couldn't pigeon hole it. It just made him feel scared to even look at him. Like the younger boy's own fear was rubbing off on him. "I don't like it," the dark-haired Ravenclaw finally voiced. "I don't think it's  _him,_ but..."

"Whatever," Sirius's brother huffed. "You  _said_ he could be my friend..." and Regulus did look quite hurt at Severus's judgement.

Hesitantly, the older year patted the boy's arm. "No. You're right, I told you he would make a good friend."

"You never did say where we were going."

Severus grinned then. "You'll see," he told Regulus. "It's the kind of place all of us hang out in or only one of us." Tugging him along then, he ordered the younger along. "Hurry up!"

* * *

"There you guys are!" Sirius exclaimed bouncing out in front of the pair. Slinging an arm around his brother, he asked; "How ya doin' Reg?"

The older Ravenclaw watched the younger's demeanor change, the curiosity had disappeared to be replaced with unease. Leaning as far away from his brother as he could, Regulus answered, "fine."

"Why don't we head in?" Severus implored pushing on the door of the Secret Room.

Lily smiled with Remus nodding beside her. "D'you think it's updated itself? You know, now that there's another Ravenclaw you'd think it could put in more of your colors..."

Shaking his head, the dark-haired boy pushed open the door and  _was_ quite pleased to see the room was a much more satisfactory mix of Ravenclaw and Gryffindor. The blue and red were complimentary and the extra wall of books was nice too.

"I guess you got your wish Lily," Severus remarked with a smile.

Peaking in with wide eyes, Regulus questioned them, "What do you guys do in here?"

Remus answered for the group of second years. "Hang out. Hide. Study."

"So...it's your own private common room?"

Sirius beamed at his brother. "Exactly!"

Looking at them all, the first year gave them a bashful smile. "So...you guys and me are the only ones that know about this place?"

"Yeah, you're one of  _us_ now Reg," Sirius told the Ravenclaw.

Severus watched the glimmer in Sirius's brother's eye change. No longer was it wary. Now it was almost...hopeful. Like he thought it would only be a short time longer and they could be the brothers Regulus had likely always wanted. Watching them interact for the better part of the evening as they talked about classes and complained about professors, Severus began to hope Sirius could be the older brother the younger Ravenclaw needed.

* * *

As they are leaving for their dorms, Severus pulled Lily aside. The girl blinked and with a miffed smirk asked; "What is it Sev?"

"Are you doing alright? I heard...I heard that Gryffindor knows you were with Narcissa Black and Lucius Malfoy."

The redhead shook her head and squeezed the Ravenclaw's shoulder. "It's  _fine_." She cocked her head, as if considering what she'd just said. "In fact,  _I'm_ fine. Alice and her friends weren't happy about it, but they also aren't telling me to not talk to them ever again."

"That's-" he frowned. "Good."

Lily bit her lip then. "There is something I want to talk to you about though..."

Curious, Severus asked "What?"

"Not now," she replied looking to Remus, Sirius and Regulus. "Meet me tomorrow? Out here at about eleven?"

The dark-haired boy raised an eyebrow. "I didn't think you'd be the one to become the rule-breaker."

"Oh shut up!" Lily giggled, giving him a bit of a shove. "So will you?"

"Yeah," he answered.

Looking very much relieved, the redhead waved goodbye. "See you later Sev!" and with Remus and Sirius on either side of her, the Gryffindors began the walk to their dorms.

Turning his attention to Regulus, the older Ravenclaw jerked his head in the direction of their house. "Let's go." Regulus doesn't argue and as they walk back, Severus only had one question for him. "Did you enjoy yourself?"

He nodded and Severus was satisfied.


	41. Two Sides of the Moon

Coming down the hall, Severus saw Lily propped against Hogwarts's wall reading a book she had propped against her stomach. She was twisting a strand of her red hair with one finger as she mouthed along to the book. She shifted, one foot scratching at her leg. It was stupid and kind of embarrassing, but he liked seeing her all alone. He liked that she was waiting for  _him_ and he was even more excited by the idea of her looking away from her book to smile at Severus when he called her name. From what he'd read from Petunia's teen magazines and heard whispered in the halls of school, Severus was pretty sure the feelings he held for Lily could be categorized as a crush.

Severus didn't know if that was good or bad yet, so he was keeping it to himself. It wouldn't do to make a fool of himself by admitting it if he didn't know his friend felt the same way (and something told him she probably didn't - not yet, anyway). Stopping a little ways away, the Ravenclaw called out "Hey Lily!"

Her eyes came away from her book and she grinned at him with simple happiness. "Hey Sev," she greeted as she closed her magical history text. So that's what she was skipping, Severus thought. Well, it wasn't like she'd be missing much. He on the other hand...he thought of the glare McGonagall was going to give him later when he walked into lunch in the Great Hall.

"So what did you want to talk about Lily?"

Her features became somber and she beckoned to him. "Let's talk about it in our room."

"Sure," he agreed his heart stuttering with some trepidation as they stepped through the door.

* * *

"I don't know why I ever chose to take divination," Narcissa grumbled to Lucius as they lay beside one another on the desks of an unused classroom. Her sweetheart's lips quirked as he took her hand.

"I think you know perfectly well 'cissa," he teased. "You thought it'd help you find your true love."

The girl lifted her head to put a kiss of Lucius's cheek. "Oh but I've already found him."

"Who is he?" Lucius asked with mock jealousy.

Giggling beneath her breath, Narcissa pushed herself up on her elbows and rolled over so she could rest them on her sweetheart's chest and gaze at his wincing face. He'd told her once that her elbows were much too sharp. And she'd told him he was a baby. It was fun having someone you could tease without having to worry about repercussions. "Oh this very handsome fifth year; he's smart, he's going places and-" she kissed his lips. "He knows how to make a girl feel like she's the only one who matters."

"Is that so?" Lucius murmured bringing his arms around her. "Does he take divination too?"

Narcissa laughed a little louder. "If he did, don't you think I'd be in class right now?" Petting his cheek, she murmured; "You know, I think I'm looking at him right now."

The boy made a little noise of surprise. "Me? I'm you're true love?"

"Of course silly." The girl grinned. "I wouldn't let just any boy kiss me as you do."

He kissed her lips and gently pushed her down so she rested fully against him. "I really do hope you and I are true loves..."

"We are," Narcissa insisted. "I've never felt so safe and happy with anyone before."

Smiling at her with half-lidded eyes, the boy whispered; "Neither have I."

"Now, what did you  _really_ want to talk about love?" Narcissa inquired of her sweetheart as she rested her head upon his chest.

She felt him sigh. "It's about that kid, Severus and his little crush." Lucius explained.

"Well," the girl said carefully, "Start talking."

* * *

"Sirius said we couldn't trust them." Lily told Severus as they took a seat across from one another.

Cocking his head, Severus looked at her with some confusion. "Couldn't trust  _who_  Lils?"

"Lucius. Narcissa. "She blurted after a moment of panic. "They hate me -  _us_  - because we come from the muggleworld."

Severus frowned. He had hoped to keep her knowledge of the pureblood bigotry to a minimum for a while longer...

( _"Some people in Slytherin will spit on you if they know you're father was muggle, Severus, so just talk about the Princes, alright?"_ )

The Ravenclaw swallowed thickly. He hadn't thought about his mum in a long time, now he was going to have to remember all that she told him so he could explain to Lily the nuances of this world they now lived in.

"Lily, how'd you come to that conclusion?" Because yeah,  _he_ knew the Malfoy's were known for their belief in pureblood supremacy, but how much did Lily know?

The girl's eyes flashed with irritation. "Sirius explained to me what happened to his dad and why."

Severus slumped a little in his chair. "Just because his dad was like that doesn't mean he is, you know? He could be a lot more open-minded."

"Why do you think he would be?" Lily asked sounding a little hopeful and doubtful.

The boy rubbed at his chin. "I don't," he admitted. "But...he will be, okay? I'm not going to be friendly with him if he's not."

* * *

"I think I might actually like him."

Narcissa hummed and played with a lock of Lucius's blond hair. "Severus? Well, he  _is_ your sort. Smart, sarcastic and he's quite cunning."

"That little stunt he pulled by bringing the mudblood along  _was_ impressive," Lucius agreed with a snort.

His sweetheart's head left his chest and her big eyes looked at him, troubled. "You can't call her that. Or Severus. Not  _ever_."

"Okay," Lucius sighed. "I get it, it's just...Mr. Riddle always talks about muggle-borns and half-bloods like that, you know?"

Narcissa felt her heartbeat pick up, she had never liked Mr. Riddle. Her parents met with him from time to time too and now days, she only ever seemed to see her oldest sister when he was around. Curling her fingers in Lucius's hair, the girl bit her lip. "I know." Narcissa whispered.

"He's been so helpful these last couple years, dad's not getting any better, you know." Lucius told her sounding almost fond of "Mr. Riddle", looking to her, he smiled a little. "He's saying in another year or two I can join his group. The people in it are getting a leg-up in their careers paths, Mr. Riddle has some real clout!" Chuckling, her sweetheart joked "Even more than that fool Slughorn!"

Narcissa swallowed back some tears. "I'm happy for you," she whispered; not knowing what else she could say. She'd hate to put a damper on the one thing that seemed to being going well for him this year.

"And when we marry," he whispered into her ear, "I'll already be a governor for Hogwarts. And you know our Apothecary will keep us in luxury." Lucius kissed her cheek then. "We'll be so happy and  _everyone_ will envy us!"

It did sound quite nice, Narcissa decided, but she still worried about Mr. Riddle and the plans he had for her sweetheart. Maybe...maybe she could persuade him away from the man? If she could keep young Severus and his friend Lily close to them, Narcissa hoped it would keep Lucius out of Mr. Riddle's circle. Their families's friend had always made his distaste of anything less than pure obvious; maybe Narcissa's family agreed with him, maybe Lucius agreed with him right now, but she  _didn't._ The girl could see what he'd done to her sister - she wasn't nearly so good at hiding her insanity as Mr. Riddle was. In a few years time, she was sure some very scary things would be happening and Narcissa wanted  _no part._

Pulling away so she could kiss Lucius fully on the lips she mumbled; "Let's wait and see, hm? I'd be happy just to call you my husband, if you were without connections or money I wouldn't care because I  _love_ you."

His eyes widened and with a sudden smile he hugged her tightly. "I love you too 'cissa."

* * *

Lily frowned at him. "How come you're so willing to trust him?"

"Because," Severus answered. "I'm not going to believe anyone else's opinion, I'm going to make my own."

The girl ran her her finger over the sateen fabric of her chair. "But what if he's using you Sev?"

"He's not using me anymore than I'm using him," The boy told her.

"So...you know he's using you?" She asked unhappily. "How can you want to be around him!" Lily yelled jumping up from her chair.

Calmly, Severus crossed his legs. "You don't get it," he grumbled. "He's using me to make his dad happy and I'm using him to figure out what his dad knows about my mum's family."

The girl shook her head at him. "Sometimes I don't understand how you think at all," she remarked.

Severus looked away. "I could have been Slytherin," he whispered.

"Slytherin?" Lily repeated in disbelief. "But you're too ni-"

Severus got up and scoffed. "Lily, you sound like Potter. Just because they have a bad reputation doesn't mean they actually are all bad!"

Lily paled. "You think I sound like Potter?"

"There's more than one type of bigot, Lily," Severus grumbled sourly. "Maybe Lucius is a blood one, but Potter and maybe  _you_ are house ones!" Now Angry as he began to pace the length of their little room, Severus spat; "At least Sirius is letting me make up my own mind about things! He doesn't like it anymore than you do, but you know what? He  _trusts_ me to know whatever happens is my choice and he said won't hate me or respect me any less for how things go!"

Trembling where she stood, Lily whimpered. "Oh Sev," she warbled, "I'm sorry! I don't-I mean-I  _trust_  you!" She cried. Falling back into her chair, she buried her face in her hands. "But I'm just so  _scared_! You know your friend Josh's dad was likely killed by bigots and I don't want either of us to end up like that! And if Lucius is like that then-then-" Her speech was lost to sobs.

Severus felt badly then. Going to his friend's side, he took her in his arms and hugged her. "I'm sorry," he mumbled. "I didn't mean to make you cry..." and here he'd thought she's been doubting him. Instead, Lily had only been worried for him.

Sometimes, Severus thought he the ill of people closest to him too much. They weren't all going to be like his mum or da, they weren't all going to hate him or leave him.

"It's okay Lily..."

 


	42. October Crow

"Happy Halloween!" Charity Burbage greeted her fellow second years as she sat down at the Ravenclaw table for breakfast. For the most part, all that she got in reply were grunts and a sparse number of intelligent 'hellos' and 'good mornings'. Frowning at their lackluster behavior, she puffed out her cheeks and demanded; "Why isn't anyone excited? It's  _Halloween_!"

"Halloween is stupid," Robert grumbled as he took a bite of his toast.

Face flushing red, Charity snapped; "Is  _not_! My cousin Hazel throws the best Halloween parties! We used to all dress up and whoever was best dressed got a prize, we'd play ghost in the graveyard in the woods behind her house and watch the Halloween specials on the telly!"

The round-faced girl got a few blank stares in return, eventually one of Ravenclaws muttered; "...telly?"

"You guys are  _so_ uninformed," she grumbled in disgust. Before she could begin a quiet rant about pureblood witches and wizards not knowing nearly enough about their companion world, two boys took a seat on either side of her.

"Hi," Josh mumbled as he reached for the juice pitcher.

Plonking some of the ham on his plate, Severus grunted "Morning."

"Hello!" Charity smiled, "Are either of  _you_ excited for Halloween?"

Joshua blinked at her. "Not really," he admitted. "It was more fun when I was little. Me, my brother and sister used to dress up and go to our school's party - they'd turn the gymnasium into a scary house;" a little smile playing on his face, he sighed. "The show the ghosts put on last Halloween was nice, but it's not the same."

Severus concurred. "I thought  _that_ was juvenile. A few tricks and a slapstick comedy might be a hoot for Gryffindors, but I'd have preferred if they'd put on a murder mystery."

"What did you used to do when you were little Severus?" Charity inquired.

Severus hummed and looked away. Truth be told, his family hadn't been the celebrating type. He'd watched other kids trick-or-treat, though. The only thing he'd done was go to a graveyard with Lily and her sister when they were ten. The girls (and him) had scared themselves silly there telling ghost stories and eventually holding a seance as Petunia had learned how to do from her school friends.

Suffice to say, they ended up running back to Lily's home and spent the rest of the night in the living room with the lights on listening to the cheeriest music her parents owned.

"My family didn't really celebrate," he told her. "But once Lily, her sister and I held a seance in a graveyard."

Mark crinkled his nose from across the table. "Isn't that kind of redundant? You  _were_ in a graveyard." _  
_

"That's just how muggles do things," Severus replied as he ate a bite of his breakfast. "It might seem silly to _you_ , but to 'tuney and Lily it was just how they'd learned to do stuff."

"And what about you?" Greta spoke up as she lifted her gaze from her herbology notes. "Don't you think you should have taught them better?"

Severus scowled. "No," he sneered. "I had no interest in trying to commune with the other side - besides, that's  _illegal_."

"Why is that you think?" Joshua mused. "It seems-" he yawned. "-seems to me people should get to know how their family is doing in death."

Freckled-face stern, Marlene cut in. "To have a seance, the spirit of the departed has to take over a living host to commune with the group and you don't actually  _know_ who will come to the seance. You can want to see a specific person, even ask for them, but if a bad spirit wants...they get to take over and there's no telling if they'll give up the body they've taken over when it's all said in done." Waggling her fork at Josh, she declared; "Essentially, you could be murdering someone if you get the wrong spirit!"'

Beside Marlene, Mark grinned. "Hey I have an idea," he said to them all; "Why don't we meet up after tonight's feast and go to one of the unused classrooms and contact the spirit world? One of you girls has to have a ring we can tie to a string and with a bit of chalk, we can probably get a spirit on the other side to answer some yes or no questions..."

Otto Bagman objected immediately, aquamarine eyes flashing; "That's almost dark magic itself!"

"We can do it the muggle way then!" Charity countered. "My cousins Heather and Hazel sent me their old ouija board last week - they said I should have a fun Halloween with my friends...I didn't think I'd get to use it, but now!" Her face was eager and her smile bubbly. "Don't you guys think that could be fun?"

A hearty round of agreement rose up then. Doing it the "muggle" way made the danger negligible ten more times interesting as everyone besides, Charity, Josh and Severus had little knowledge of the muggle world. Severus hesitated, though, because he had already planned to help Sirius with his Halloween prank (how he got roped into it, he wasn't quite sure).

"What's with that look on your face Severus?" Josh questioned around Charity.

He sighed. "I already said I'd hang out with Sirius tonight," he answered. Severus actually felt badly about it too, this sounded like it would be quite interesting...

From his spot, Mark scowled. "You're  _always_ with him or that Lily girl - someone could think you don't  _like_ your house!" _  
_

"Oh hush!" Greta barked in defense of her friend. "Lily's fun. She always has something nice to say and shares the cookies her mother sent her when we hang out."

Giggling, Marlene said; "You  _would_ say that! Everyone knows you have that sweet-tooth!"

"There's nothing wrong with that!" Greta yelped, face an indignant pink.

Patting her back kindly, the blond nodded. "Oh I'm just teasing you Greta!" Marlene chuckled. "No, she's right. Don't talk like that Mark. Severus's friends are  _our_ friends."

Otto agreed. "Yeah, your friends are our friends. So instead of skipping out on us, bring him along!"

" _Just_ him," Mark sulked; his dish-water blond fringe flopping into his face as he let his head droop.

Severus gave a miffed shake of his head. He didn't quite understand why Mark thought his Gryffindor friends would be a bad addition, but he was willing to give his fellow Ravenclaw a benefit of a doubt and go with it was some other factor that was making him behave like an arse.

"Sure. Just him."

And the dark-haired boy hoped that Sirius hadn't thought to pester Remus or Regulus into his midnight plan.

 


	43. Terrifyingly Wonderful

Meeting Sirius in the library, Severus can see he's nearly bouncing with his excitement for tonight; sighing, he went forward catching the other's eye.

"Severus!" He cried happily.

Looking around quickly, the Ravenclaw noted the glaring librarian and so he hurried forward and shoved a hand over Sirius's mouth. "Shut up you idiot!" He hissed. "You'll get us kicked out for a week this time!" The last time his Gryffindor friend had gotten excited and come to the library Madam Rousseau had chased them out and barred Sirius, Severus and Remus from her library for three days. Severus was not interested in repeat session, it had been embarrassing enough the first time to have to ask Lily and Josh to get the books he needed for his assignments.

Not bothered by the Ravenclaw's sharpness, Sirius babbled; "Tonight's going to be  _so_ much fun! Just wait until you hear what I have-"

"Sirius!" Severus snapped, eyes darting to see if the librarian had heard him.

The boy paused. "What is it?" He asked, tilting his head fretfully.

"I can't do the prank."

Crestfallen, the Gryffindor cried; " _What_?!"

A shadow loomed over them and Severus's eyes went to the large woman glaring down at them from above. He opened his mouth, "Sor-" but his apology was cut short by her jabbing a beefy finger at the door.

"OUT!"

The boys scattered.

* * *

"A month! A month Sirius! Do you know what that  _means_?!" Severus ranted as they sat outside the library's doors.

Sulking, the other boy just crossed his arms and sniped; "Yeah, well, you're the one who always wants to  _study_! If we could meet up like  _normal_ people outside or in the Great Hall or something we wouldn't  _have_ this problem!"

"You-" Severus bit back a curse. He wanted to hex the idiot to kingdom come for this! "You didn't even wait to listen to  _why_ before you started yelling!" He argued.

Stopping to pout at him, Sirius muttered; "Well you can tell me  _now_."

"I had something better," the Ravenclaw sighed. "And you would get to join as well..."

Looking a little apologetic, the Gryffindor looked at his feet. "Yeah? And what is that?"

"The Ravenclaws are holding a session with a muggle Ouija Board; I thought you'd enjoy it."

Having perked up, Sirius grinned. "Wow! Really?! Those are supposed to contact the dead, right?"

"Yes," Severus answered.

Clapping his hands, the boy laughed. "Oh wait until I tell Reg! He's going to  _freak_!"

"Did...did you invite him to help with the prank too?" Severus questioned; he was beginning to curse himself for having not thought of that. Of  _course_ Sirius would have invited along his brother and likely Remus too for his prank.

The Gryffindor nodded. "Yeah," he agreed. "And he wanted to bring along his little Ravenclaw friend and I said okay 'cause Remus said  _no_."

"I said no too!" Severus declared. And he had, for the first twenty times anyway.

Nodding, Sirius replied sagely; "But he has more patience than you. He didn't break and agree after I asked him for the thirtieth time."

Severus knew that wasn't exactly fair, but..."Just him and his friend then?"

"Yeah."

Thinking on it, Severus remarked; "That should be fine, Mark wasn't keen on having  _you_ there, but a couple more Ravenclaws isn't really something he can complain about, is it?"

"He didn't want me there?" Sirius frowned.

Waving off his friend's doubt, Severus said; "Oh don't worry about that. Everyone else agreed he was being an arse."

"Oh.." a small smile eclipsed his face. "That's nice."

Nodding, Severus told the Gryffindor; "You'll meet up with me after the feast, alright? We're going to go there together in small groups so none of the teachers get suspicious."

"Alright!"

* * *

"Severus!" Mark complained. "I thought we all agreed on  _just_ Sirius!" He scowled as Charity set up the board on a desk.

Looking to the first years and then at Sirius, he countered with; "Their Ravenclaws just like us! Besides, you should have known if you agreed to Sirius you were agreeing to a gaggle more!"

Mark he balled his hands. "You little-"

"He's right, you know," Marlene interrupted. "I thought we  _all_ knew that!" And a murmur of agreement followed her declaration making the blond look quite stupid.

Flushing, he quieted quickly and fell into a chair with a low sigh. Waving in the three, Severus said; "Hurry up! Let's get this started."

"Are you sure this is safe..?" Otto asked as they sat down around the Ouija Board.

Charity smiled, "Of course it is Otto! My cousins played with it all the time!" And she reached out and put her hand on the moving piece. "Now what do you think we should ask first guys?"

Greta hopped up from her seat. "I know! Let's ask if there's anyone from the other side who wants to talk to us!"

Leaning in close to him, Sirius whispered to Severus. "A  _prank_ would have been so much cooler!"

"Shut up!" He growled back, giving the Gryffindor an elbow to the side.

Suddenly, the girls squealed and when Severus looked to the board he saw that the triangle was now pointing at "yes". "Ask it something else! Ask it something else!" Marlene demanded as everyone leaned in close.

"What's your name?" Regulus inquired for everyone.

The triangle began to move again, "E..." Otto muttered absently as it moved on to the next letter; "I" soon, all of the children had joined in; "L-L-E-E-N!"

While everyone else grew more excited, Severus felt his stomach turn into a pit. It couldn't be...could it? It was a silly muggle toy! Surely one of them had to be messing with him, but why? It couldn't be about Sirius, they'd  _agreed_ he should be allowed to join in.

He was snapped back to attention as Charity fussed. "Sorry? Sorry about what Eileen?"

The piece beneath the girl's hand moved and Severus watched with rapt attention. Soon, it was had all been spelled out and Otto read it off from the paper he'd copied the letters to. "Sorry for leaving my son alone."

Turning to her fellow Ravenclaws and Sirius, Charity wondered; "How do you think she died? Is that appropriate to ask?"

"Of course it is!" Mark answered just as Severus said;

"No!"

The blond and black-haired boys looked at each other. Smirking, Mark teased the other boy; "Are you getting scared Severus?"

"I'm not scared!" Severus roared back and Charity screamed; the triangle was moving without being asked and it was moving quickly too.

"D-"

"O-"

"N-"

"T-"

"F-"

"I-"

"G-"

"H-"

"T-"

Regulus and Otto read together, but it was Marlene who registered it the quickest. "Don't fight! Guys stop upsetting Eileen!" She scolded as the triangle slowed down to rest on "s".

Weary, Severus inquired; "Can't you just tell her that her son's okay?"

"We can't do that!" Charity gasped scandalized. "We don't know where her son  _is_." _  
_

The Quirrell boy spoke for the first time that night. "I think we do," he whispered.

Everyone's gaze went to him. "What do you mean kid?" Robert demanded.

"Um.." His pale face was nervous and he kept glancing at Severus; eventually, they began to catch on.

"Severus! This isn't-"

He shrugged. "I don't know, she  _could_ be..."

The triangle moved to yes.

Hesitant, Severus implored; "Mum?"

The piece moved back only to point at yes for a second time. Taking a deep breath, he asked; "Are you-are you upset with me? You k-died so soon after I came to school last year, I thought-"

The triangle moved around like a storm on the Oujia Board before it settled on no. Sighing a little, he inquired; "Is there anything important you need to tell me?"

Eileen moved the piece under Charity's hand much slower this time and Severus took up a quill and used the sheet of parchment Otto had lent him to spell out the message. Once done, he read the message;

" _I love you Severus and it wasn't your fault, be careful now, your father will try and find you eventually and there's danger in contacting what's left of the Prince line."_

Looking up from the paper, he said to the board; "Goodbye mum," and the triangle moved to goodbye.

"So it really was her?" Josh inquired gently.

The boy nodded. "That was my mum," he agreed.

"Are you...okay?" Charity questioned as she moved away from the board.

Severus sighed. "As okay as I can be," looking at them all, he told them; "You can keep playing with it if you like, but I'm done."

Sirius perked up. "We still have time for a little prank if you want to," he offered.

"Sirius!" Regulus hissed, punching his brother.

Wincing, he glared at the younger. "I'm going to get you back!" He snapped.

Ignoring them, Severus looked to the Quirrell child. "How did you know?" He asked.

"My dad was on the Gobstone team with her," he explained softly. "Said she was the best player they had."

Narrowing his eyes, the older Ravenclaw murmured; "And you knew Eileen was my mum because...?"

"Dad keeps a picture on the mantle, you look a lot like she does." Blushing then, the Quirrell boy added, "my dad also said she married a muggle named Snape and he'd gone to her wedding - where he met  _my_ mum."

That made some sense, Severus admitted. "Who's your mum?"

"Edna Quirrell-or, well, her maiden name was Snape too. I'm pretty sure she's the daughter of your dad's dad's brother."

"Huh."

And that really was all that Severus could think to say. Who knew he'd meet a relation of his father that he'd like in  _Hogwarts_ of all places? Maybe the night wasn't all for naught after all.

* * *

 


	44. Encroaching Green and Red

The month of November brought with it a sharp snap from brisk to downright freezing, more schoolwork, the beginnings of holiday talk and a smattering of whispers about the masked and darkly-robed wizards and witches who attacked unsuspecting souls with increasing frequency. But most of all, it came and went in what Severus had learned was peace (or damn near it, anyway). He got to know his cousin Quirinus, who was smart as a Ravenclaw should be, but painfully shy. He stuttered under the gaze of professors and if it weren't for Regulus who happily took to being Quirinus's best friend, Severus feared he may have become isolated among his own house and year.

His fellow Ravenclaws asked him a little more about his mother, which he refused to speak of. Sirius planned pranks with a zealous and once or twice Severus got roped into them (facing the consequences even when Sirius used him and his potions skills to give McGonagall cat ears). Remus was just as patient with everyone and everything as ever and did his usual disappearance about the time of the full moon, while Regulus continued to adjust to his house and built a tentative friendship with his brother. Plus upon Severus's urging, he sent a few letters to his parents about his worries. Thankfully, as the older Ravenclaw had hoped, they reassured Regulus that Ravenclaw was a fine house to be in and that they wanted to see him  _and_ Sirius for Christmas.

Lily and he continued their friendship, writing letters to her parents and exchanging the ones they received in return. He invited her to a Slugclub party (which she loved and he hated) and together, they continued to get to know the mysterious Narcissa Black and uppity Lucius Malfoy. Narcissa was a worthy partner for potions, showing an adeptness he admired and a strange fondness for Lily that made him leery. Lucius continued to press and threaten for a visit over holidays while simultaneously teaching him everything he knew about pureblood history.

When Severus asked him once why he thought he of all people needed to know about purebloods, the teenager had said with mild disgust "because you are to meet my  _father_ and friend or not, I will not have you embarrass me when you are introduced!"

It had been kind of nice to hear him say they were friends, Severus hated to admit. Lucius had said it with such a candidness that Severus knew he meant it.

What had worried him about November, though, was Potter. The bespectacled boy had at first picked arguments with him, but once he lost a handful of house points, he'd begun to glare and now he was smirking like he knew something - or maybe he was plotting. Whatever it was, Severus worried for what was to come and had told Sirius, Remus and Lily to be on guard seeing as they saw him twice as much as Severus did.

"Hi Severus."

Taken away from his thoughts, the young Ravenclaw looked up to see Josh smiling at him. Offering his own closed-mouth smile, Severus waved to the library chair next to him. "Hello Josh."

Falling into the seat, the dark-haired boy asked "Are you ready to start writing our defense paper?"

"Yeah," Severus sighed. "I found every book that mentioned our topic...unfortunately it's little more than a paragraph in this one-" he held up a red book. "And this one is quite thin." He told Josh whilst point at the other.

Frowning, Josh cried "Oh no!" Flipping through the pages of the thinner he shook his head. "Maybe we should have picked a broader topic."

"I like ours though," Severus grumbled.

Biting his lip as he scanned the introduction of the book, Severus's fellow Ravenclaw said "We could see if the professor has any recommendations tomorrow."

"I guess..." he agreed as he ran a hand through his hair.

A clatter came from the front of the library, which was then followed by a heavy bellow of "Severus!"

"Not here..." Severus moaned. Sirius was going to get him kicked out again. He didn't want to even think of how long this time would be.

Eyes going wide, the Ravenclaw looked up to see Sirius running toward him with Remus not far behind. Reaching their table, Sirius shouted "Come quick! Your cousin and my brother are fighting!"

"What?" Severus gaped, looking to Josh then he said "You can stay or come, I don't care, but we need to sort this out." Turning back to Sirius as he grabbed up his bag he demanded to know "Why'd you leave the two alone!? Surely you could have just sent Remus."

"Lily's there!" Sirius yelled over his shoulder.

Rolling his eyes in worry, the two hurried along to find the pair standing sulkily on either side of Professor Hooch with Lily hewing her nails in front of the professor just around the corner from the library. Slightly out of breath, Severus let the woman continue her scolding before he questioned Quirinus.

"What happened?"

"They-"

He glared at Hooch. "Not  _you_."

"I never!" She sniffed, "I should take points from you for your impudence!"

"Fine, okay," he agreed with gritted teeth. "Now Quirinus?"

Pale face unusually colorful, he pointed his finger at Regulus and screamed "He said if Death-Eaters got my parents it would be justified!"

"That's  _not_ what I said!" Sirius's brother sputtered. "His father knew what people were going to think when he married a muggle and should be prepared if they try and hurt them!"

Fighting against Hooch's hold, Quirinus screamed "That's the same thing! You're saying we  _deserve_ it!"

"Who was in charge of teaching Regulus tact?" Severus asked his friends.

They shared several looks and finally, Lily said "I think that might of been your job Sev, Remus has his work cut out with Sirius."

"Great," Severus grumbled. Looking to professor who appeared more bemused than anything, he inquired "are you taking them to the headmaster?"

Professor Hooch looked between the boys. "Can you kids promise not to kill each other if I let you go?"

"Yes!"

"Yes."

They agreed with completely opposite inflections. Releasing Regulus and Quirinus, the woman scolded all of them. "You two young men should know better than to brawl like little morons in the halls and  _you_ ," she hissed at Severus. "Watch that mouth! I am a professor and I want  _respect_!"

Everyone nodded even though it was probably only Josh, Remus and Lily who actually listened. With no more to say, Hooch declared "Twenty points from Ravenclaw!" And then left them to sort out what had to be done.

Looking between them, Severus told Quirinus "Don't ever take Regulus too seriously - he's puts his foot in his mouth just like his brother."

"And Regulus, be more  _sensitive_." He spat.

Lily open-mouthed, cried "Is that all you have to say to them?"

"Yes?" Severus answered uncertain.

"Are you two still mad at each other?" Lily inquired.

"Yes!"

"No!"

Giving a heaving sigh, the redhead proclaimed "I'll fix this!" And fix it Lily did, by the end both boys looked much more repentant and even apologized to one another. Satisfied after the apologies, Lily turned and grinned at her yearmates. "So, what should we all do? It's Saturday after all."

"We should-"

"Josh is here," Severus cut in.

Squinting, Sirius hummed. "He's trustworthy isn't he?"

"I'd say so."

"Then he can come with!" Sirius decided. "If that's alright with everyone..."

"Fine by me," Remus shrugged.

Lily nodded. "The more the merrier!"

"Then let's go," Severus said and the group moved on.

Looking back at the first years a couple times as they moved down the hall, Josh questioned Severus and his friends. "Is it a good idea to leave the two alone? And where are we going exactly?"

"Oh they're fine now!" Lily giggled. "And you'll see, it's a lot of fun!"

"Severus..." Josh begged unhappily.

Smirking, dark eyes twinkled at the Ravenclaw. "Trust us Josh. It's fine." He whispered.

Seeing there was no other option, Josh did.

 


	45. A Lonely Christmas

Passing through droves of students on their way out of Hogwarts, Severus and Lily discuss the quintessential things all children talk about before christmas; family, presents and traditions.

"Dad said we'd all go get a christmas tree together," Lily said to Severus as she swung her satchel around.

Nodding along, Severus fought against the dominating instinct that told him he forgot something; something  _very_ important for that matter. "Mh..." he muttered.

"Did you ever get a tree with your dad?" The girl asked as they came closer and closer to their destination before departure.

Severus paused long enough in his fretting to tell her "Once."

Possibly too excited about the coming holidays to notice his odd behavior, Lily continued to babble at her distracted friend. "Well, I bet you'll like it just as much if not  _more_ ; it's really fun with my family you see, 'tuney and I run around looking for the best tree and then present it to our dad and he decides who's is the best and we buy it! Usually Petunia wins, but I bet you could this year Sev." _  
_

"Uh-" He stopped.

_Petunia's present!_

He'd forgotten the one gift he was sure would be the most important. This was one of the few chances he had to put him and Lily's sister on respectable terms; if Severus didn't give Petunia her gift she'd put it in her tallies and the rift between them would only grow. Severus didn't want that. Not anymore. The Evans had been so  _kind_ to give him all that they had and he didn't think having a rivalry with their elder daughter was a good way to repay them.

"I forgot something!" Severus burst as he ripped off his satchel. "Lily take this won't you? I need to get it!"

Green eyes wide, the girl didn't fight the satchel being dropped in her arms; but she did cry after his running body "Severus!"

"I'll be back! Save a seat for me on the train if I don't find you before we leave Hogwarts!" The boy shouted over his shoulder.

"Sev!" Lily yelled once more in exasperation. But with a mild feeling of foreboding, Lily turned her back on her friend and followed the students moving toward their meeting spot.

Running through all but deserted halls, Severus begins to picture exactly where Petunia's gift is. Jut beneath his bed, tucked nicely in a green and blue painted box Lucius had given him in his attempt to "woo" him into being friends. The inside, with help from Marlene's sister, he'd charmed the upper part of the lid to show a picture of Hogwarts - and it would reflect the weather, state and time of day at the castle for her to see always.

She'd wanted to go to Hogwarts, which was impossible, but at least now she could see it with her own eyes.

Whilst running through Hogwart's high-vaulted halls, Severus felt his knees give. Falling face first into the floor, his nose began to throb and the familiar trickle of hot blood spilling down his face overwhelmed him. Pushing himself up, he heard snickers behind him and whipping his head around Severus saw the grinning face of Potter.

Growling in his throat, he forced himself up on his shaking legs and ran after the prat. Completely in control of his own legs, Potter lead Severus on an awfully long run and soon they were somewhere in the middle of Hogwarts and the other had disappeared once more from sight.

"Where in the bloody hell did he go?" Severus muttered to himself as he looked around. A door in front of him swung open and too startled to jump out of the way, Severus was thrown off balance on his still wobbly legs and then shoved into the room beyond the door.

As soon as he landed in a bucket, the boy knew exactly what type of room he was in - a closet. "H-!" He started, but the door slammed shut and he was forced into darkness.

"Have a nice holiday Snape!" Potter shouted before his galloping feet took him away.

A couple minutes of trying to open the door later, Severus began to panic. "Hey!" He screamed. "Hey!" and he yelled and yelled until he felt his voice going hoarse. At that point, he started to kick and bang the door keeping him in Hogwarts. But soon enough, both his body and voice were too worn to do anything but lay among the cleaning supplies.

When he realized that everyone had probably left, he felt his throat get hot with snot. Curling into a ball, Severus closed his eyes and gave up.

* * *

The door opened and the abrupt change of light caused Severus to shield his eyes with a hiss. Eventually when he could look into the light without tears sprouting in the corners of his eyes, Severus made out a distinctly familiar heart-shaped face framed by a black bob. Sabrina Lewis.

"What are you doing here?" The boy demanded.

Unflinching, almond eyes stared at him as she said "James told me to come open this door after dinner."

Getting up, Severus snarked "Well, at least I can sleep easily knowing he didn't want to  _kill_ me."

"You know," Sabrina started, "whatever reason he decided to lock you in here for you probably deserved."

Coming out to stand towering over the petite Asian girl, the boy drawled "Did I?"

"Yes," she replied with narrowed eyes. "You turned Lily against us - Remus and Sirius too!"

Smoothing the wrinkles from his robe, Severus resisted the urge to slap her. She was a girl after all and he had no interest in being like his father. "I turned no one against anyone," he argued. "If Lily stopped being friends with you it's no one's fault but yours."

With no more to say to a girl that hated him, Severus brushed past.

"Hey!" Sabrina shouted after him. "Hey I'm talking to you!"

The boy ignored her and hurried on.

* * *

Walking into the Ravenclaw dorm, several faces looked at him in confusion.

"Didn't you leave?" One of the upper year girls asked from beside a boy she was holding hands with.

Hurrying past, he shook his head. "No," and then he took the stairs two at a time to his dorm.

Inside it, Mark was laying on his bed with an arm over his eyes. Alone. Going to his own bed, Severus pulled out 'tuney's gift with the plan to mail it to her in mind. Grabbing it, he went to his fellow Ravenclaw's side and gave him a shake.

Mark jolted.

"What are you doing here!?" He demanded.

Biting back a sigh, Severus answered "I decided to stay."

"For  _real_?" The dishwater blond gaped, disbelief and disgust clear.

Rolling his eyes, he nodded. "Yes."

" _Why_!?"

Severus scowled. "Because!" He snapped, "now do you want to come mail a gift with me or not?"

"I'll come, I'll come," he grumbled as he rushed to put on his robe and tie his shoes.

Going toward the dorm door, Severus yelled "Hurry!" And bitterly thought at least Mark would be a sympathetic ear.

 


	46. Just in Time

So, uh, what are you going to do then?"

Sending the school owl out with Petunia's gift, Severus didn't turn to face Mark right away. Instead, he glared after the owl's tail-feathers. What could he do? Tell a professor? Yes but that would be so... _embarrassing._ Surely no child had gotten left behind do to being locked in a closet before.

"Well?" Mark demanded, his foot tapping filling the room with an impatient air.

Severus scowled and spun around to snap; "I don't know!"

Rolling his eyes, the other Ravenclaw waved him over. "C'mon," he sighed. "Just because your being a sissy shouldn't mean you have to stay here for the holidays..."

"I'm not a sissy!" Severus cried.

Mark only smirked and said; "Let's go find a teacher, I'm betting they are looking for you anyway."

Reluctantly following his yearmate's lead, they took the winding stairs down to the main level of Hogwarts and Severus asked "Why would a professor be looking for me?"

Mark gave him a look. "You're not being serious, are you?" He questioned; but upon further inspection of his fellow Ravelcaw's face, the it dawned on the boy that his companion was. "Oh  _my_ ," he exclaimed. "You  _are_!"

Self-conscious, Severus crossed his arms and sneered at Mark. "Why are you so shocked? Of  _course_ I am!"

"I just-" he shook his head. "What were your mum and dad like, Severus?"

Eyeing the other, Severus gave an elusive answer; "okay."

"Did  _they_  not care if you didn't come home like you said you were going to?"

So what if that was mostly true? Severus sure as wasn't going to admit it. "Of course they did!" He huffed. "I got scars to prove it!"

"Oh?" Mark muttered, not sounding nearly as amused any more.

Severus flushed a little and ducked his head. He'd let his emotions get the better of him ( _again_ ) and Mark knew stuff he probably shouldn't and oh no, what if he  _told_ someone then wha-

"Mr. Snape!"

Both boys turned to see McGonagall staring at them.

Severus considered running. Mark shoved him toward the headmistress.

Stumbling forward at his companion's prompting, Severus ended up looking through his hair at the woman and whispered "yes ma'am?"

"We've been looking for you," she remarked as she took his arm - causing him to flinch. McGonagall paused at his reaction and studied him closely. "Are you alright Mr. Snape?"

Mark, from behind the two, piped up. "Of course not professor! He's been locked in a closet for  _hours_ and he missed dinner!"

Severus could have hit him.

However, McGonagall's stern face turned to one of abject horror and sympathy. "Is this true Mr. Snape?" She questioned.

"I-" he choked as his face began to burn with a hot red. "I hid a present in one of the closets and then...I'm not very good at unlocking charms ma'am."

"That's not-!" Mark began, but Severus sent him a vicious glare that conveyed what would happen to him if he disagreed.

The professor raised an eyebrow at the other child, but silenced with terror, Mark looked to his feet instead.

Sighing, the headmistress put a guiding hand on Severus and told him "The Evans will be very pleased to know you are unhurt and doubly so to take you home."

Despite telling himself for hours that the Evans wouldn't blame him for missing the train, Severus was still stunned to hear that they wanted him home for Christmas. "They still want me?" He blurted.

"Yes," McGonagall replied with concern, "They do."

He found himself smiling and relief and with a quick wave to Mark, allowed the Headmistress to take him to the headmaster's office.

* * *

"Severus!" Mrs. Evans shouted at the sight of him.

Getting up from her chair along with Mr. Evans, the adults took Severus into their arms and hugged him.

Touching him all over as if to make sure he was hale and whole, Mrs. Evans smiled at the Ravenclaw. "Oh thank the lord!" She exhaled. "You're alright!"

"Hey now," Mr. Evans chided his wife. "Don't crowd the boy."

Coloring, she let him go with a sheepish smile. "Oh, you're right Paul."

Meeting his gaze, Lily's father asked; "How are you son?"

"I-" Severus didn't quite know what to say. They didn't  _seem_ mad, but he'd seen parents who acted all nice in front of strangers and then they'd go home after their kid had done something naughty and you could hear the children crying from their homes as their fathers or mothers whipped them.

So, with this in mind, he asked; "Are you mad at me?"

"No!" Lily's mum denied.

However, a man of a different breed, Paul nodded. "Just a mite, son," he told him. "But if you can tell us what happened..."

Severus felt his heart flutter in his ribcage. If he told his lie, would Mr. Evans not be angry with him at all? Or would they be able to tell he wasn't being truthful and become even angrier at him?

"Go on Mr. Snape," McGonagall encouraged.

Looking once to her, and then to Mrs. and Mr. Evans respectively; he took a breath. "I h-hid Petunia's gift in a closet and when I went to get it, the door locked behind me and I'm-" he ducked his head. "I'm not very good at unlocking charms..."

"Oh love!" Mrs. Evans exclaimed taking him into her arms. "Oh thank goodness you got out at  _all_..."

Clearing his throat from behind them, Dumbledore, eyes sharp met Severus's. "How  _did_ you get out, Mr. Snape?"

Severus didn't like how the headmaster was looking at him. He felt like he was in his mind and that wasn't- "Mark!" He told the old man, "Mark found me."

"I see," Dumbledore murmured as he brought his hands together. "Minerva," he started; "Would you please assist the Evans and Mr. Snape home?"

The headmistress nodded. "Of course," she agreed.

* * *

Once safely in the Evan's living room, Severus was tackled to the ground by a surprising force.

"SEV!" Lily screamed.

Wincing, he gave her a quick hug back. "Lily," he sighed.

Amused, McGonagall remarked; "I will take me leave."

"Thank you," Mr. Evans said. "For everything."

She waved it off. "It was my pleasure," and with that apparated herself away; leaving the Evans and Severus to have their Christmas.

Stilling clinging to Lily, Severus asked "Are you mad at me still sir?"

The man blinked. "Of course not," he answered. "It's not as if you were at fault for being left behind."

"I-" he looked to the floor. "Of course."

Ruffling his hair, Mr. Evans offered "Why don't you come and have some dinner? Lily, you and Petunia ate didn't you?"

"Yes daddy," she agreed.

Helping her off Severus, he gave her a light swat and said "Then off to bed with you! It's late and you've gotten to see Severus."

"Aw!"

Mrs. Evans, on the same side as Mr. Evans, agreed with a sharp rebuke. "You've stayed up much later than you should have already! Off to bed!"

Pouting, Lily stomped toward and up the stairs.

On any other day, Severus would have chased after her, but he  _was_ hungry and the Evans were looking at him expectantly.

"Goodnight Lily!" He called after her.

Stopping in her displeasure, she turned and smiled at him from half-way up the stairs. "See you in the morning, Sev!"

He smiled.

Things seemed like they would be alright after all.

 


	47. Holiday Wonders

Christmas came to the Evans home with a great, tremendous crash and the tinkling of breaking ornaments. Rushing to the living room, they'd found Lily's gift, a cat, had figured out how to get out of his carrier and climbed the tree at five in the morning and knocked it down once it climbed too high.

"The tree!" Mrs. Evans and Petunia had bemoaned as Lily took her new cat and cradled it in her arms like it was her first baby doll.

Not the least bit upset about the tree, Severus had helped Mr. Evans right the evergreen and clean up the mess. Thankfully, none of the presents suffered much more than cosmetic damages to their wrappings. Divvying them up into piles for the mother, father and daughters; Severus was surprised by the generous amount that was in his own pile.

He counted them and then counted Lily's and Petunia's. They each had five presents between them. The boy had to swallow back his lump of gratefulness because crying felt like a silly thing to do when he should be happy and because, well, boys weren't supposed to cry about such trivial things.

"Alright Severus, seeing as you already organized the presents, why don't you hand them out today?" Mr. Evans called from where he'd flopped down on the couch with Lily curled into his side.

He blinked. "We're opening them now?"

The man smirked. "You kids are awake, we're awake, might as well get on with it."

"Yessir," Severus agreed then, taking the stacks and handing them off to the four before carefully shuffling his pile into his own lap as he sat down on the coffee table.

Mrs. Evans, tired but now smiling, gave her eldest daughter a gentle prod. "Seeing as Lily's already gotten to one of her gifts, why don't you open one Pet?"

"Yes mummy," the teenager agreed as she ripped the colorful silver and blue from her package. Holding it up, she nodded her approval. "What a pretty sweater, thank you mummy and daddy."

Petting her daughter's hair, Lily's mother looked very proud. "You're welcome my love, I'm sure you will be beautiful in it!"

"Now it's your turn Severus," Mr. Evans called as Petunia folded the garment back up and laid it in it's box.

He hesitated. Which one should he open first? Inspecting them for a moment, he picked up one wrapped in red and green and held it with both hands. It was light. A sweater? Pants maybe?

"Go on Sev!" Lily urged, her new cat gurgling in agreement to her wish.

Peeling the paper back, Severus opened the box beneath it to find a pair of simple plaid slippers. "Thank you Paul and Julie," he told them as he turned them over in his hands. They were nice. Warm looking too.

Running her fingers over one of her own presents, Julie said "Lily mentioned Hogwarts floors are cold in the winter and I didn't think you'd have a pair."

"I don't," he answered as he slipped them on to his feet.

Sitting up and letting her cat go, Lily exclaimed "My turn!"

And they filtered through everyone, Severus getting some candy, books, a button up and a picture frame with he, Lily and Paul leaning against the car from last summer. After opening those presents, Severus and Lily dashed up to get their presents for each other and the rest of her family.

It was easy giving his presents to Lily, Mr. Evans and Mrs. Evans; Severus  _liked_ them. But..after a bit of shuffling, he gave the box to Petunia who took it with a raised eyebrow.

"Happy christmas 'tuney," he mumbled as he went to take his spot back.

Lily's mum cleared her throat and the oldest Evans daughter grumbled "thanks," as she tore back the newspaper. Upon seeing the box, she gave it a curious turn over and then opened it only to gasp at what she saw.

Feeling a little nervous, Severus remarked; "It's Hogwarts. I know you probably won't ever get to see it in person, so I thought you might being able to see it this way. The picture will change to match the seasons and weather and such, so you always know how it is there."

Clutching the little box in her hands, Petunia looked at him with wide, shocked eyes. "I-" she shook her head. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he replied.

Standing up then, Petunia picked up all her presents and said "I'm going to put them in my room now." And left for her bedroom, leaving Severus, Lily and her parents behind to finish.

Lily, opening his present to her a moment later exclaimed with much more visible joy than her sister. "Oh  _Sev_! What a pretty hair clasp!" Leaning over she hugged him. "Thank you!"

He nodded. "I like the scarf you gave me too, it will go nicely with the gloves from last year," he replied.

As they continued to talk, Lily's parents smiled more and more and they looked so happy just to be watching them that Severus wondered just what it was that made them so joyful. Maybe they just liked Christmas? Or maybe they enjoyed that all of them were behaving civilly to one another. He knew they weren't always so good at that. Because if Lily and Petunia weren't bickering, Petunia was being snide to Severus, who was vicious in return. And sometimes, he and Lily fought over stupid things. Like what to do. Or what to watch on the telly.

Hoping this would be as good a time as any, Severus asked "Would it be okay if a couple friends of mine came over for boxing day tomorrow? One of them want me to visit him for the weekend and I thought you might like to meet him."

Mr. Evans frowned for a moment. "You're only asking now?"

The boy shrugged. "Is there a better time to ask?" He inquired with true interest. It wasn't as if his da or mum had ever cared what he did or who he went with, as long as he let his mum know he was going out for the day that morning, she was satisfied and only expected him to return sometime later that day.

Mrs. Evans touched Lily's father's arm. "Yes love," she started, "There is. A couple days notice is always a nice thing to have - especially since we don't know these friends. Who are they? Were they at the party you went to last summer?"

He shook his head. "His name is Lucius and he was hoping to bring Narcissa - she's friends with Lily too."

The girls' parents looked at her and she looked away from her presents and cat to smile. "They're wicked! Narcissa knows all sorts of neat hair and makeup tricks!"

"How old are they?" Mr. Evans asked then.

"Fifteen and fourteen."

Lily's mum paused. "Are they in your house?"

"Both are in Slytherin, but I'm partners with Narcissa in potions..." He answered not quite knowing where this was going.

The two exchanged looks. "They can come over, but we aren't going to say yes to the weekend until we've met Lucius and Narcissa; alright?"

Severus didn't know why they were agreeing to one part and not the other, but he would accept it for now. "Alright," he agreed. "Let me go write him."

And he got up, Lily calling after "Ask Lucius if they're allergic to cats!"

"I will!" Severus shouted back.

Looking between themselves, Lily's mum took her youngest daughter's chin and made her look at her. "You two have a lot of older friends, don't you? You said that in your house the upper years were more your friends than your roommates the last time you wrote me. Is something wrong Lily? What's wrong with your yearmates."

The girl rolled her eyes. "Nothing mum! Sev's smart. He likes older kids better. The girls in my year are  _boring_ but Alice and her friends are fun! It's simple, really. And you're being silly, we're friends with Sirius and Remus and all of Severus's Ravenclaw yearmates!"

She leaned back. "I guess you're right my love, I just worry that you two might be trying to grow up a little too quickly..."

Lily laughed. "Well, we aren't mum! It just happened and really, they  _are_ nice. You'll see tomorrow!"

"We will, won't we?" Mr. Evans sighed as he rubbed his forehead.

 


	48. Boxing Day Greetings

"Narcissa!" Lily exclaimed as she swung open the door of her home to the sight of the older girl and her boyfriend.

Smiling, the blond reached forward and touched the younger's new hair clasp. "Good afternoon Lily, how pretty you look today."

"Thanks," Lily whispered as she toyed with the clasp. "It was a gift from Severus."

Pulling back her hair, Narcissa showed off a pretty set of dangling pearl earings. "From Lucius," she told the girl.

"They look expensive..." The redhead murmured as she glanced back to the now blushing Lucius.

Coming so he was half-in and half-out of the house now, Lucius cleared his throat and remarked "Yes, well, if Severus is as smart as he leads us to believe, he'll be able to give you the same by next year!"

"Why next year?" Lily inquired and before Lucius would have to find a way out of the hole he was digging, Severus interrupted them.

"Because he has plans for me to use my brains for the purpose of tutoring and potions." Narrowing his eyes then, the boy ushered them all in fully and remarked "But as you know very well Lucius, I'm not interested in helping dunderheads!"

The girls gave delighted laughter and Lucius took it in stride. He'd brought it on himself in a way, after all.

"My mum's got biscuits for us in the kitchen!" Lily told them as she closed the front door. "We can have some and talk before we go out ice skating!"

Leading them into the kitchen, Severus came between Narcissa and Lucius and mumbled beneath Lily's chatter; "They want to get to  _know_ you before they let me come to your home this Saturday."

"Right," Lucius nodded. He understood very well what his young friend was saying, he needed to be charming and perfectly polite or Severus would not meet his father this Christmas, which potentially meant  _never._

Entering the kitchen, they all took note that Lily's father was not there, but that Petunia was helping Mrs. Evans put out the fresh biscuits beside a pot of tea and milk.

Lifting her gaze, Petunia took a step back and went to hover behind her mother; her discomfort among so many wizards and witches clear. As for Lily's mother, she had none of the same fear of magic and so smiled at the group. "Hello!" She greeted. "You must be Lucius and Narcissa!''

"Ah, yes," Lucius agreed as he gave her his hand to shake. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

She smiled some at this and even more so when Narcissa repeated the action.

"Sit! Sit!" She ordered then, "Have something to eat! I had Paul run out to get some eggs, you see, so it will be a little bit before you all can leave for ice skating."

Slowly, they all sit down and begin taking the treats for themselves. Noticing how her sister stood awkwardly by the sink, Lily asked her, "Are you having any 'tuney?"

She frowned. "I-"

"Yes Pet, come have some! You helped after all." Mrs. Evans said to her older daughter.

Begrudgingly, the girl trudged forward and took the open chair beside her mother.

Narcissa, after taking a sip of her tea, looked to both Lily's mother and sister and asked "How was your Christmas?"

"Very well, thank you," Mrs. Evans smiled at the teenager.

Nodding, the blond moved on to Petunia who shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Seeing that she was not so forthcoming, Narcissa in friendly spirit, attempted to wrangle something out of her. "From what I understand, Severus charmed a box for you?"

Severus gave Lucius's sweetheart a nasty glower. He had in fact  _not_ told her about that and so wondered just who she was getting this information from. Did any of the girls or his dorm mates have siblings in Slytherin? He'd have to find out once he went back to Hogwarts.

"He did," Petunia answered though, surprised to hear that Severus had mentioned  _her_ (or rather her gift) of all things to such an elite looking youth. "I like it very much." Fiddling with her tea cup, she mentioned "Hogwarts looks very pretty when it's under a fresh layer of snow."

"It does!" Narcissa agreed and soon the two moved into further small talk and with her eldest daughter occupied by Severus's potions partner, Mrs. Evans turned to Lucius who seemed to be a bit lost between his sweetheart and her older daughter's chatter and Lily and Severus's rather childish contest of downing milk with the most soggy biscuits in it.

Leaning forward to catch the young man's attention, she smiled at him in what she hoped seemed a warm way. "You invited Severus to your home, isn't that right?"

"Yes ma'am," he agreed.

Making sure he kept eye contact with her, Lily's mother asked "Why is that? Surely a little boy like him can't be interesting for that long."

"You are quite wrong," Lucius told her. And if the distaste pulling at the corners of his mouth was anything to go buy, he did not like her line of questioning. "He's highly intelligent - even more so than some of my roommates. I'm sure we will have a great many things to do."

"We haven't told him he can go yet, I want you to know."

He gave her a curious look. "Are you truly in the position to tell him 'no'? It is not as if your his parents." He reminded her in a mild tone. But she felt the barb still, he was testing to see just how far she would go in claiming this boy. The one that he so obviously wanted as well.

"For all intents and purposes, Mr. Evans and I  _are_ his parents. And that brings up another question for me, Lucius, what about your parents? Are they alright with you bringing a boy like Severus to your home?" She demanded.

The teenager's eyes clouded. "My mother is many years dead. As for my father..." he shrugged. "He doesn't mind."

Mrs. Evans could smell the lie, but she didn't know how to call him out without garnering the attention of the rest of the other children. "Alright," she replied. "I feel that I should be fair and let you know that Mr. Evans and I won't be letting Severus know if he can go to your house until after today. "

Lucius relaxed and smiled a winning grin. "Of course Mrs. Evans," he consented.

Turning into herself as the young man reached over to talk to Severus, Julie wondered just who had won.

She suspected it wasn't her.

"Hey kids!" Paul boomed as he walked into the home. "Are you ready to go!?" He asked as he came into the kitchen with the groceries.

Already up from their seats, Lily was nearly bouncing with her excitement. "We are daddy!" She answered her father, taking Severus by the hand she looked to the older children and said. "Let's go to the car! Dad can meet us there."

Her daughter then proceeded to lead her friends and sister out of the kitchen and then the home which was finalized by the opening and shutting of the front door. Looking to her afterwards, Paul inquired "How'd it go love?"

Accepting the kiss as it was put on her cheek, Julie could only shake her head. "You know, I'm not quite sure. Narcissa is undoubtedly a polite girl and supportive of whatever it is Lucius is trying to do...but what I'm not sure of is  _what_ Lucius is trying to do."

Hugging her, the man swayed with his wife in his arms and thought on it. "I suspect whatever it is, we will be the last to know."

"I hate to think like that," Julie muttered. "If it were... _dangerous_ you'd think Severus or Lily would say something, wouldn't you?

Leaning in so he can kiss his wife, Paul replied. "We have to trust they know what they're doing and I feel the best we can do is know that they can come to us if anything ever becomes too much to handle."

"Sometimes I feel that they  _don't_ know that. Severus especially...he feels very grown up sometimes, you know? Like a little man in a boy's body."

Realizing his wife's doubts were much the same as his own, Paul could only hold her and sigh "I love that our Lily is so  _special_ , but sometimes I think she had been a normal little girl like Petunia we wouldn't fret so much."

"Where would that leave Severus then?" Julie questioned. "That poor boy! All those awful things he went through last year...what if Lily hadn't been there for him?"

Feeling too many possibilities were being opened up for them, Paul shook his head and kissed his daughters's mother one last time. "Let's not think about the 'what if's we'll drive ourselves mad. Instead, let's just focus on making sure the children know how much we care about them and that they can come to us about anything and everything, hm?"

"You're right," Julie agreed. "I just hope they remember that when they get back to school..."

 


	49. Startings and Endings

Gray eyes oddly nervous, Lucius gave Severus's robe a tug and said "Curl your hair behind your ears, would you? It's so stringy!"

"Last month you told me  _not_ to put my hair back because I look like a girl then!" Severus grumbled as he did as instructed. Lucius was going to take the Ravenclaw to see his father and he had no interest in messing this up. Not when Lucius's father might know something about mum.

Scowling, Lucius did it for him and even went a step further by putting it in a ponytail. "I don't care if you look effeminate," the older boy hissed; "All I want is for you to look presentable!"

Stepping away from the fussing hands, Severus crossed his arms and declared "I will leave if you don't take me to see your father now!"

Lucius opened his mouth, but said nothing and closed it instead to give the younger a furious, nasty glare. Shooting forward, he grabbed the Ravenclaw by his arm and dragged him the rest of the distance down the opulent hall to one grand door just a room shy of the end of the corridor. "He might be sleeping," the blond warned Severus, "I will go in first."

And the teenager did. A couple minutes of antsy waiting later, Lucius opened the door for the boy and said "You may come in now." Stepping in, he saw a man that looked very much like a skeletal version of Lucius. His hair was the same white-blond, his eyes a pink-rimmed gray and his smirk haughty despite his frail health.

"You must be Severus," the man remarked with a hoarse voice.

Severus gave a mute nod and took a step forward.

A bit of a true smile coming to his lips, Lucius's father, Abraxas, motioned for the Ravenclaw to come closer. "Let me get a look at you," he said.

Doing so, until he was just shy of a half a foot from the man's bedside, Severus met the gray eyes with a dour face. "Hello sir," he said.

"You look very much like your mother," Abraxas commented. He reached up then and took a weak hold on Severus to bring him even nearer. "Right down to the nose," he chuckled.

Severus felt the need to object. "Maybe. But my hair's my dad's and so is my chin."

The man cocked his head and seemed to consider him, next Lucius's father looked to his son. "I bet you think Lucius is my reflection, don't you?"

"Yeah, I guess."

This brought another smile to the sick man's face. "When I look at my son, I do not see myself so much as I see my late wife. His grin is just as hers once was, as is the shape of his face and his hands! Mine were never so long and thin. Never as elegant...but Cynthia's were. They were so beautiful, sometimes, when she and I were young I could just hold her hand for hours and marvel at how prettily they fit in mine. And even as a little babe, Lucius's hands reminded me of hers. It was a great comfort to gaze at how strongly they gripped my fingers after her passing-"

"Dad," Lucius broke in.

The father looked to his son.

"Dad, I don't think Severus wants to hear about  _my_ mother."

Abraxas chuckled, but it sounded more like a hacking cough. "I'm sorry, my son's right," he apologized.

Severus shrugged his shoulders. It was obvious that Lucius's father had both adored and loved his wife. In truth, the Ravenclaw had enjoyed hearing how this love had transcended her death and been carried on through her son.

"I'm sure you're curious to know why you are here," The sick man stated.

Severus gave a small nod. "A little," he agreed.

Another sickly chortle later, Lucius's father brought out from a robe pocket a small piece of paper. Leaning forward, Severus saw it was a picture of himself at possibly a month or so old. The glare he was giving the camera was unmistakable.

"You're mother sent me this shortly after you were born. You see, when we were young, she was absolutely horrid at charms and I tutored her...for a very long time we were quite close. Once, I even felt that I loved her. But then I met Cynthia and..." he shook his head. "Your grandfather died the summer before you came to Hogwarts, he was the last true Prince and he gave me this-"

He pulled out a ring. On it was the Prince family crest.

"To obtain your fortune, you will need to present this at Gringrotts."

Taking the little thing and tucking it close to himself, Severus pressed "Why'd he leave it to you? Why not seek out my mother or me himself?"

Abraxas gave a sad sigh. "He was a terribly stubborn man. He disowned your mother and refused to keep tabs on her once she ran off to the muggle world. Once I got the picture from your mother though...he became interested in a small way. If you visit Gringrotts and prove you are a wizard by the time you are seventeen the entire Prince fortune will go to you. If you don't, it goes to your closest cousins - the Crabbes. Your grandfather hated them more than he hated muggles. He felt they were horribly uncouth and left me with this ring and story when he realized he was dying two years ago."

Then, with a deprecating smile, the man remarked "Though, I fair little better than he at this point and if my dear Lucius had failed to find you this year I may have died without ever seeing you! And I am very pleased that I have, you are very much like your mother and I am glad. You will do the Prince line proud."

"Thanks," Severus mumbled.

"Severus," Lucius called softly. "Let us leave my father to rest now."

He gave one last look to the sick man. He winked at Severus. "Okay..." the Ravenclaw reluctantly agreed.

"I'll check on you later, dad," The older boy said as he went to his father's side and accepted the kiss that was put to his cheek.

Once out of the bedroom and the door closed behind them, Severus looked at Lucius. "What's he sick with exactly? He seems quite..."

"Tired? Shaky? Thank Potter's father for that!" He spat with sudden venom. "When I was small, Potter senior cursed my father. The spell was called  _Dolore Opprimo_ *. It's meant to kill a man in a similar way that a  _crucio_ can, but it's slower. When you use  _dolore opprimo_ , you want a man not just to hurt but to  _suffer_ and you want to  _degrade_ him to the point that he gives up!"

Severus listened carefully as Lucius ranted on.

"Potter's father wanted to ruin my dad, but he didn't-hasn't! He lives and he is still a man ten times better even as he suffers! He smiles and loves and cares even when he should be selfish and only want to make the hurt stop! My father is  _good_ , do you understand!? He's a better human being than what Potter and his dear  _light_ cause would lead you to believe! My dad's a good man! He could have ruined Potter senior for what he did - what he's done is basically murder, after all, but my daddy knows what would happen if he did. James would have no father. Just as I will soon. He did not want such a thing to happen. He's told me time and time again a boy needs a father and that to rip Potter away from James would be a blow to him, not his father."

Face a bright, bright red and tears slipping down his cheeks; Lucius hissed "My father is a caring man and  _that_ is why a murderer walks free! He cares about others who only deserved to be spit on! He wants to help our world - even if means all he can do now is ensure that another boy will not become fatherless!"

Reaching out to take the older's wrist, Severus found a well of sympathy for Lucius that he was sure would never exist. "I understand," he whispered to the older boy. "He's not a bad man and he loves you and so many more people - even ones he shouldn't. And you," he paused, making the gray meet his own black. "And you are trying to make sure he can pass on to the next world with as much peace as he possibly can."

Taking a deep, stuttering breath, Lucius nodded. "Yes," he agreed.

"Yes," Severus repeated as he gazed into sorrowful metal-gray eyes.

Lucius was not using Severus for any nefarious or selfish purposes right now and maybe, with the help of Lily and Narcissa, he could ensure Lucius would never try to.

 


	50. Closing Winter

Coming back to Hogwarts was like returning home and going to a foreign land all mixed in one. Severus had missed his Ravenclaw friends, his cousin, Sirius and Regulus as well as Remus plus the comforting burble of potions in cauldrons from his potions class and the smell of dusty books on shelves from the library. But after spending nearly two weeks without magic, it was odd to be back in a place where all it took was a thought for something he wanted to be to come true. If he wished for his quill to do the writing, he could have it, if he wanted another roll after lunch all he had to deal was put a duplicating spell on one he took from the great hall.

It was... _liberating_ to be able to do so much for himself after having to rely on the Evans for almost everything he needed in the muggle world.

Returning to Hogwarts was not all joys, though, James Potter was somewhere in the shadows with his crony - waiting to strike and it was by the morning after the returning feast he learned from Narcissa that Lucius's father had passed. Severus had gone to give condolences, but the blond did not want or wish for them - it seemed he'd taken the same route as Severus had in his first year. A select few knew that his father was dead. But unlike Severus who'd done it out of fear of the unknown, Lucius did it out of fear of the known. If anyone knew of his father's passing before his seventeenth year, Lucius would be thrust into a fight with distant relatives from all over England and beyond for the Malfoy fortune.

That wasn't something Lucius wanted. Not now.

Deciding after checking in with the older boy that he needed space for a while, he went to his younger cousin. Quirinus was happy to talk to Severus, chatting about the gifts he got for Christmas and his trip to London with his parents to see the Museum of Science. Mistakenly, Severus asked if he saw any of his Hogwarts friends over holidays - or more particularly, Regulus. The younger had clammed right up and refused to speak to Severus any more about holidays.

Moving on to Sirius and Remus, he joked about with them for a while on how their holidays went and Sirius told several amusing anecdotes about his time with his brother and parents from the time they'd spent in India. Severus was pleased that his friend was getting on with his parents and brother and thought to ask about Regulus and what his thoughts on Quirinus were. Quite eagerly, the other admitted that Regulus was sorry about what he said and that he very much wanted to talk to Severus's cousin and be good friends again.

He had not felt he could make promises to his friend (or Regulus), but swore to do his best to ensure the two could talk to each other at some point in the next week.

Curiously, or maybe not so curiously, Lily became quite scarce. Spending ninety percent of her time with her upper year girlfriends and giggling about private things in the smattering of moments they spent together - just the two of them. Severus had asked her once,

"What's got you so bouncy?"

A glimmer to her emerald-cut eyes, she'd said "I'm helping Amelia with her operation 'Hook-up A.M. and F.L.'!"

Severus had felt better at knowing this small fact. She was not angry with him, or bored, simply busy with her other friends and he felt he couldn't complain about it. She'd gone so much of last year without girlfriends to restrict her now seemed cruel and unfair.

His first potions class, Narcissa had been completely absent. The second one too. On the third, she showed up but was highly distracted and could have blown up their potion if Severus hadn't monitored it so carefully. After that lesson, he confronted her in the hall.

"What was that all about, Narcissa? You're usually just as much a perfectionist as I!"

The blond, pale and eyes darting, had crumpled in front of him and began to weep into her hands. Worried, Severus crouched beside her and awkwardly placed a hand on her shoulder. This wasn't Lily, nor was it Sirius. This was Narcissa,  _girlfriend_ of Lucius.

"H-Hey," he stuttered.

Still crying even as she attempted to blot the tears with the sleeve of her robe, Narcissa forced a shaky smile. "I'm sorry Severus! I don't mean to get so weepy, it's just-"

She sucked in a breath.

" _Lucius_! Oh the dear! He's hardly spoken more than a few words since we've come back from Holiday. And when I asked him what he planned to do if they wanted an adult to speak to, he said  _Uncle Riddle_. I doubt you understand given your up-bringing, but Riddle runs a  _very_ select social group and the things they do-" Narcissa shuddered.

"What do they do?" Severus questioned.

She gave a little sob. "My sister is apart of his group! She hasn't been the same since she joined. And it-it- it's  _frightening_. What they say and do and stand for frightens me. I don't  _want_ Lucius to take any part!"

A frown twitching at his lips, Severus asked "Have you told him this?"

Narcissa shook her head. "No," she admitted. "He rather adores Mr. Riddle, the man's been nothing but sympathetic since his father's health took a turn for the worse. That doesn't even begin to take into account that Mr. Malfoy and Mr. Riddle were good friends since their school days."

"You should," the boy told her. "Tell him. He needs to know."

Her eyes big and glassy, the girl reached out and touched Severus's face. "I wish it was that easy, Severus."

"It  _is,_ " Severus asserted. "If you say nothing he will know nothing and then he will join this Mr. Riddle's group and you will still be unhappy!"

Narcissa gave a small chortle and finished drying her eyes. "I'll think about, okay? I don't want him to think I'm not supportive of him."

"But you  _aren't_ ," he pointed out.

"Just about Mr. Riddle. I support him in everything else," Narcissa corrected with a sudden hardness to her tone.

A smirk coming to his face, Severus said "And  _that's_ what you're going to tell him!"

The blond blinked. Then she laughed and took the smaller into a brief hug. "Thank you," she whispered. "I really did need someone I could trust to talk to."

"You're welcome, I guess," Severus replied, blushing.

So few people had ever said they trusted him and to know this, pretty, well-to-do girl did made him feel especially proud.

 


	51. Of Pies and Fingers

Coming up the hall from her last class of the day, Lily wondered what she'd do wit her afternoon. Study for Herbology? Do her Charms homework? Or maybe she'd go and see what the boys were up to. However, her pondering was interrupted when-

"Lily!" One of the upper year girls called as she walked into the Gryffindor common room.

Looking in the direction of said girl, she saw it was Samantha Lawson who shouted, but she was with Amelia Bones and a few of the others girls as well. Grinning, Lily walked to the group and took the spot they offered for her. Looking at all their eager faces, the redhead asked "What's up?"

"F admitted he had a crush on  _someone_ today," Amelia smirked. "He told Kim so."

The younger girl brought her hands to her mouth as she gasped. Looking over all their flushed faces she wondered "Did he say who?"

"No," Kim Spinnet admitted with a plump-lip pout. Then, with a sudden spark to her lavender-gray eyes she whispered "But we were in Runes, you know, and  _A_ was there too and when he said it he looked at her! He _looked_ at  _her_!"

Getting their attention with a jerk of her bracelet clad wrist, Samantha called their attention back and said "And we  _all_ know what  _that_ means."

Lily gave a fervent nod. "What about A? Is she still being coy?"

Amelia grinned. "Yeah, but I saw her writing their names side by side in her notebook. She  _so_ fancies him."

All of them giggling then, Lily realized this was actually a lot of fun. Gossiping and watching love grow. She grinned broader and was happy knowing Hogwarts finally felt like a second home again.

* * *

Lucius held Narcissa's hand as they strolled the melting walkways of Hogwart's grounds. The air was crisp and smelled of mud and growing grass. Spring was coming faster and faster and usually, he'd find elation in this. But not today. Not this year. Things were difficult for him these days and he wanted just to walk the waking world with Narcissa in silence; but...

"We need to talk, Lucius," his sweetheart said with a tired roughness to her voice.

The blond brought Narcissa's hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. "Must we?" He pleaded.

"Yes," the teenager replied. "I've been quiet long enough and I fear if we wait much longer I will lose the nerve to say anything at all."

He sighed. "Alright," he relented. "What do you want to talk about 'cissa?"

She had them pause in their stroll and met his gaze with large, pupil-dilated eyes. "You might not be happy with me," she admitted. "But I want you to hear me, okay?"

He kissed her cheek. "Of course I'll listen," he whispered.

A smile flickered on her lips, but then she bowed her head and took a step back. "I don't like how much you trust Mr. Riddle," she declared.

"Wh-"

"Listen!"

Lucius bit his tongue.

Glaring at him, Narcissa continued on with a sharp tone that refused to be rebuked. "I don't like it! My mother, my father trusted him and gave my sister to his inner-circle when she was just shy of the age you are now and she is not the same person I remember from when I was small! Bella was so much more lively when we were children, she was capricious, yes, but she knew how to laugh at more than other's misfortunes and pain. Once she could take me by the hand and tell me she loved me without asking for anything in return..."

Coming forward, Narcissa took Lucius's hand. "She's cold now. Cruel. Biting. I don't know what Mr. Riddle did, but I do not like and I  _cannot_ sit and watch him do the same to you my love."

Lucius did not want to believe her. Not about the man who was there for him after father died. Looking at his sweetheart, he shook his head and said "I think I'm going back into the castle. Alone."

Turning heel, Lucius all but ran from the truth Narcissa had laid on him.

* * *

Coming back to the Ravenclaw dorms following a study session in the library, Regulus perked up at the sight of Qurinius coming down the corridor from the opposite direction. Nervous, but pleased, he jogged over and greeted the pale boy with a soft "hey."

The other gave him a critical glare, but gave his own murmured "hi."

"We haven't talked in quite a while," Regulus commented.

The white-blond boy raised an eyebrow and grunted "And there's a reason for that."

"Listen," the dark-haired boy said. "I get what I said I said badly to you, but, I also don't want to lie and tell you I was in the wrong. I believe it."

Quirinus scowled and started to turn away, but the other Ravenclaw raised his voice and all but shouted "But that's okay! We can think different stuff and be friends! Please Quirinus? I  _like_ you. A lot. You're smart and I don't want us not to be friends just because we have some different opinions."

Standing still for a long time, the white-blond youth said nothing. Then, he sighed and gave Regulus a smile with his baby-blue eyes "I was just going to put my stuff away and then go to dinner, want to come?" The other boy asked Regulus.

Grinning in relief, he nodded. "Definitely! Hey, did you get Charms today? Because I didn't..." And the two were off. A fragile whole made out two contrasting pieces. One dark, one light.

* * *

Seated around a roaring fire in their secret hideaway, three boys chatted idly and seriously in equals halves. "Oh come on Sev," Sirius grumbled after a moment. "You get the Evans to take you to Gringotts and you get to claim your fortune! What are fretting so much about?"

Glaring at the Gryffindor from his armchair, Severus looked to Remus. "Surely  _you_ understand Remus?"

Smiling a hesitant, white-tooth grin, the fair-haired boy nodded. "Mostly. You're afraid about your cousins and what they may do, right?"

"Exactly," Severus agreed with satisfaction. "What do you have to say to that Sirius?" He demanded then as he glared at the boy lounging on the sofa not even a yard from him.

Tossing a cricket ball in the air and catching it twice over, the boy said nothing until he turned on his side causing the evening shadows to swim across his features until they settled in a less than pleasing way. " _I_ say you overthink!" He declared. "If you don't claim it, they get it. If you do, it's  _yours_ and they can't do anything about it! Why would you worry about them? It's not like they can fight you over something that's rightfully yours. Half-blood or not, you're  _directly_ related to the Prince line where they are two - if not three or four times removed."

"Okay, but what if they use  _me_ to get to the money? Huh? The Evans might have custody right now, but they're  _blood_ and we all know how obsessed this whole world is about  _that._ "

Sirius frowned. "When I grow up, I'm going to change the world."

"Oh?" Severus murmured with peaked interest. "What do you mean?"

"It's like you said, we're all too obsessed about status and blood and stuff. Muggles aren't like that, are they?"

Remus spoke for both of them. "Not in the same way. Blood and names and things matter very little these days unless you're  _very_ rich, but for the most part people judge you on who you associate with and what you wear and what you do."

"See! At least those things tell someone what kind of person you are!" Sirius declared. "When I grow up, I'm going to put the Black fortune toward fixing our world instead of making more strife."

Severus and Remus share a look. Not quite knowing what to say to their friend as he prattle on about everything that he planned to do. Neither knew how strong Sirius's conviction was and both were afraid to know what lengths he would go to to make this new world he described.

* * *

"No one's believing us anymore about Snape!" James grumbled.

Peter patted his friend's shoulder. "Maybe we need to try a new tactic?" He suggested carefully.

The bespectacled boy studied his chubby companion before saying slowly "What do you have in mind Peter?"

"If no one wants to believe us about Snape, why don't we enlighten people about Evans or Black or Lupin."

A smirk not so kind coming to his face, James hooked his arm around his friend's neck and praise Peter. "Wow! That's a brilliant idea! Now, I already have some ideas about what we should tell people, but maybe you can help make 'em better?"

Face flushed with pride, Peter nodded, "Sure, tell me a couple..."


	52. The Greater and the Small

Taking the seat she usually does beside Remus in History of Magic, Lily smiled at them as she let her satchel slip to the stone floors beneath their desks. "Hey guys," she greeted her fellow Gryffindors. "How was your morning so far?"

"Alright, I guess," Remus answered around a yawn. "I didn't see you at breakfast Lils, where were you?"

Sending a look over her shoulder to her roommates, Lily sat down and scooted her seat in so her knees were flush with the wood of the desk before she whispered, "Sabrina and Mary were especially nasty today, they hid my, erm-" she blushed and looked to her desk.

"What'd they hide?" Sirius inquired just a tad too loud.

Shushing him with her face a true Gryffindor crimson, Lily could only close her eyes as she heard the two start to giggle deviously. Remus's hand was gentle and soft where he touched the crook of her elbow, peaking through her lashes, the second year slumped in her seat and murmured, "They hid all my underwear."

"Why?" Sirius sputtered with his face an equally embarrassed pink.

Lily shook her head. She didn't know, not really, anyway. Were they just now getting back at her for being friends with the upper year girls...? It seemed silly to be doing it now of all times, but what did Lily know? Maybe there was a reason they'd pick now over earlier to do it.

Sighing, she replied to her friends, "I don't know. They just started being all mean again yesterday. I had hoped we'd come sort of agreement of zero acknowledgement, but I guess not..."

"Huh," Remus mumbled as he scratched his chin. "You know what else was funny? Yesterday one of our roommates - not James or Peter - tripped Sirius on his way into the bathroom last night."

Leaning in anxiously, Lily demanded, "What do you think is going on?"

A scowl on his face, Sirius declared, "Whatever it is, I don't like it!"

"Hopefully we can figure it out before it escalates like it did before, hm?" Remus offered with mild worry.

"Yeah."

"You're right," the other two agreed on a nearly simultaneous beat.

If the trio hadn't been so worried, they may have noticed the smirking duo sharing a high-five behind them.

* * *

Waiting outside the divination classroom for his sweetheart, Lucius fiddled with his wand to relieve some of his anxiety. A couple minutes later, students filtered out at an easy gallop - it was close to lunch time, most probably wanted to get to the Great Hall before the best seats were taken at the tables. Eyes moving from face to face, Lucius's worries began to double when he feared Narcissa skipped the class today when-

"'cissa!" He exclaimed in a voice just too loud to be proper.

The younger looked his way and gave him a timid smile. Breaking away from her friend, she joined him and took his hand with the ease of all who are deeply in love. "How do you do Lucius?" She asked him kindly.

"I-" he stopped and stared into her eyes, hoping she would see how sorry he was for running away like that last week and then ignoring her until now.

Smile never wavering, she reached up and pushed his hair back. "I hope you've been sleeping well, you're quite pale."

"Love you," Lucius sighed into her neck as he brought her in for a tight embrace.

Returning the hug, Narcissa kissed his cheek. "I know, my love," she whispered.

They clung to one another for some time and it was only when Lucius let go that Narcissa did also. Keeping her fingers wrapped around his hand, she asked "so, have you anything to say about what we talked about?"

He averted his gaze and swallowed. "You have to understand, 'cissa, he's been good to me.  _Very good_."

"I do, Lucius, he was good to my sister and family as well," the younger replied.

Beginning to walk, Lucius and Narcissa travelled the corridor in near silence before he said, "I trust you - truly. But..."

Narcissa felt her face burn with shame and loss. "You are going to be his puppet and allow him to just - just -  _manipulate_ you like some marionette!"

Spinning her around, the elder gripped her far too hard and raged "No! I am no one's puppet! No one's fool! I am  _Lucius Malfoy_!"

"Is that so?" Narcissa sneered, "because all I see is another  _dog_ of Riddle in front of me!" And too furious and sad for anything else, she began to walk away to walk away with her boots clicking sharply against the stone.

Lucius didn't run after her. Didn't even call. But when she strained her ears against all hope, she heard a choked breath and stilled for all of a half-second; she knew she couldn't stop and go back to comfort him, he needed to know what was going to happen if he sided with Riddle.

If her love wanted to be Tom Riddle's dog, Narcissa would not submit to it like his bitch.

* * *

Regulus was like his brother, he put his foot in his mouth. But,  _unlike_ Sirius, he knew how to read people. He knew instantly when he messed up and all he ever wanted to do in those moments was apologize over and over until the offended party saw he meant it and accepted his apology with a smile or "it's fine." However, Regulus was beginning to learn not everyone operated like his mum or his dad. **  
**

Quirinus was different. He got mad and he _stayed_ mad. It had taken him so long to just accept the apology, but Regulus could feel that in no way was that mistake behind them. It colored all their interactions from what they talked about at breakfast to where they sat in Herbology to the way Quirinus clenched his fists when he thought Regulus wasn't paying attention.

He'd thought to ask Severus once why his cousin was so good at holding grudges even after apology after apology when he seemed to be the exact opposite. (He'd heard in passing that Severus had forgiven his brother for revealing Severus's parentless status and that was a lot worse than saying your dad deserved whatever he got for marrying someone below him, right?) The older boy had shrugged at Regulus and told him quite shortly:

"I don't know, he was raised different or something. Look, I'm not the best one to ask, okay? I got enough problems as it is, I don't pay attention to what's going on with him."

It was blunt and Regulus didn't quite believe it because  _everyone_ was supposed to want to know everything about everyone else. That's how you figured out what they could do for you and what they couldn't do for you. Then again...this  _was_ Raveclaw, not Slytherin. They liked learning and having knowledge, but it didn't mean they were trying to claw their way to the top of the social pyramid.

Flopping over on his bed, Regulus scrutinized his pale, fair-haired friend and asked, "Do you hate me?"

"What?" Quirinus frowned.

Resting his chin on his arms, the boy explained Slytherin concepts to a boy who'd probably thought little of them, "Even if someone made me so mad that I wanted to hurt them, I would still be friends with them if they apologized enough because it's easier than waiting for them to figure out we can never be friends again. That's because you don't know how long - or if ever - they'll figure that out."

Studying Qurinius's face, Regulus repeated "So, do you hate me?"

"No!" The pale boy snapped. "Merlin Regulus! Just because you're a stupid pureblood rights supporter doesn't mean I'm just friends with you because it's easier than  _not_ being friends with you!"

Regulus wasn't willing to give up on this just yet. "Why'd you finally accept my apology?"

"Severus said to, he told me what Sirius did to him and I figured you couldn't be all that much different," Quirinus explained.

Deflating, the boy was sorry to hear once again he was just another half of his brother and not himself. "You figure that me and Sirius are the same, huh?" He mumbled as he shifted away. "I guess that's a good reason," he whispered.

"I figured you suffered enough with your guilt, you know? I saw you weren't thinking, but I couldn't be help being mad for a while and I still am - a little anyway. But if Severus thought your brother had redeemable qualities after what he did, it feels to me you should too - and I do see them. You care, like a lot, about everything and you're good at reading people when you're paying attention and then you can make me laugh sometimes. You really are funny, you know? Not in an over-the-top way, but in the backhanded, catty way. It's fun." Quirinus grinned then at Regulus, "Is that a good enough explanation?"

Regulus felt it probably was. Or at least as good a one as he was going to get. Quirinus forgave him because Severus forgave his brother with good results, so why should Regulus be any different? After all, he and Sirius were the  _same_ person.

"Thanks," he told his roommate as he began to tug at the curtains of his bed. "I'm going to go to sleep, okay?"

Returning to his book, the pale boy replied, "see you in the morning."

"Yeah," and as Regulus curled beneath his sheets, he wondered when his life wouldn't always be a comparison to that of his brother's.

 


	53. Emotional Commotion

Glancing back to Lily's roommates, Severus swore he saw them smirking before their eyes glazed over and faces morphed into something bored as Binns droned on in the background. Suspicious, he leaned close to Lily and hissed, "Is there a reason your roommates keep smirking at us like the know something?"

"Hm?" The redhead mumbled as she sat up a little straighter. The Ravenclaw realized then she hadn't even known - likely because she'd been napping instead of paying attention to their teacher like she should have been. Sighing, Severus repeated himself, "Is there a reason why your roommates are smirking at us?"

"Probably just hid my jim jams," she answered as she slumped forward with her chin coming to land on her desk. "They always think they're so clever when they do stuff like that - little do they know it gives me a reason to snoop through their things without feeling guilty!" And her voice rose just enough at the end that Severus was sure the two girls heard Lily. This was proven to be true when he looked back to see both Mary and Sabrina wearing scandalized looks.

Silently snickering behind the heal of his hand, Severus caught Lily grinning back at him and thought once again how he wouldn't mind being more than friends with her. However, just because  _he_ thought so didn't mean she did too. The Ravenclaw wasn't going to ask for more from Lily at this point either, he was too dependent on their friendship to want to push it in a different direction where the outcome could lead to ruin.

Suddenly, the redhead gave a yelp and jumped from her seat. Turning his head, Severus saw Sabrina with her wand pointed at them. Blood thrumming in his ears, Severus drew his and sent back one of the hexes he himself had been creating on the sly. The girl gave a shriek as she toppled over; toenails shredding her shoes as they burst out and continued their rapid growth.

"Severus!" Lily cried as she grabbed at his arm. "Stop that spell! Stop it!"

Looking at her, the Ravenclaw didn't understand. Why did she want it stopped? Had Sabrina  _not_ just cast a stinging hex on her?

Slapping him, the redhead yelled, "Stop it  _now_!"

Opened mouth and astonished, he did so. A moment later, he heard the girl sobbing as his pulse died down.

"It's okay Sabrina, it's okay..." Mary was whispering to her friend as Severus stood dumbly while Lily clambered over to apologize. Why was she apologizing? Her roommates were the ones who started it!

A hand touched his arm. "Sev, what  _was_ that?"

"A spell I've been working on," he replied distantly to Remus's question as Mary and Sabrina clung to one another.

Had the spell hurt the girl? It shouldn't have. Severus almost went to ask, but a very furious and very grave voice called from the front of the room. "Mr. Snape, please come  _here_."

Turning his head, he saw it was the Headmaster standing there with Binns floating beside him.

Obeying the command, Severus wasn't at all surprised by how he was whisked away from the class and taken to the Headmaster's office where he was told to take a seat as Dumbledore went behind his desk. Lacing his fingers together, the old man asked, "What curse was that, young man?"

"It was a hex, sir," the Ravenclaw murmured. "It should have been harmless - it makes your toenails grow at an accelerated speed."

Eyes burrowing into his, the Headmaster then asked, "What book did you find that in?"

"I didn't, sir, I made it up."

This caused Dumbledore to raise an eyebrow. Like he didn't  _believe_ Severus and that just wasn't fair because Severus worked  _hard_ on what he did and to think this man was going to question  _him-_

"On your own?" The old man demanded.

He gave a short nod of his head. "Yessir," he answered.

Dumbledore was silent for a long stretch, then, almost absently like he really wasn't interested, he inquired, "What did miss Lewis do to deserve such a frightening spell?"

"She hexed Lily," Severus whispered. "I was just settling things - tit for tat, sir."

"You will be given a weeks worth of detention - starting tonight. You will report to Professor Flitwick for it after dinner."

Severus jumped up. "A week! What about-"

"Sit down!" Dumbledore bellowed. "This is not something you can negotiate yourself out of young man!"

Shaking with his fury, Severus sat down and did not listen at all as the Headmaster droned on about something called 'restraint' and 'not testing spells on fellow students' before he was let go to report to his next class.

Seeing as he was much to upset to think straight - let alone learn - Severus disregarded his upcoming flying lesson in favor of hiding away in a cranny of Hogwarts to brood. It wasn't hard to find a place to hide in the lower recesses of the school - the dungeons. Students gone for classes, he easily found a little corner to hide himself away in and mutter to himself about the unfairness of his life.

First, he defended Lily.

Second, Lily told him to stop it.

Third, Dumbledore punished  _him_ and  _only_ him.

Fourth, he had detention with Flitwick!

Severus was looking forward to that about as much as he was looking forward to a trip to the muggle dentists. Flitwick had made it quite clear the year before he did not understand Severus and thought he was wrong in someway for making his fellow students think he wanted to be a dark wizard (which was utter rot! Potter had spread that rumor like a disease and when someone did something like that, it was hard for it  _not_ to linger for a while).

As he grumbled to himself and scribbled in his book of spells, he barely noticed when an icy hand closed around the back of his neck. Jumping, Severus twisted out of the hand to see Lucius staring down at him with glassy eyes.

"Are you sick?" He inquired of the older boy.

Swaying just a smidge, the older year replied, "The word you're looking for is inebriated."

"You're  _pissed_?" Severus gasped with horror.

"No!" Lucius snarled. "I just took enough to take the edge off!"

"...edge of  _what_ off?" The Ravenclaw pressed.

Squeezing in beside Severus, the elder slumped forward with his elbows on his knees. "'cissa doesn't want to be with me."

"Why?" Severus questioned as he began to forget his own troubles. "Did you say something idiotic?"

Looking at him, the gray eyes of his friend seemed to lose a bit of their life. "She doesn't like my friend's social group, she thinks it turned her sister into a  _bitch_."

Frowning, the Ravenclaw had to wonder just how much Lucius had been drinking. He seemed quite plastered..."If you love her, why are you even hanging out with that friend?"

"Because he's been good to me!" Lucius snapped.

Severus looked up at the ceiling and imparted to his elder, "Lily stopped being friends with her roommates because they said she shouldn't of hit James for being an arse; they'd been alright to her beforehand, but she still stopped being their friends." Brow furrowing, he went on and said, "Today, one of them hexed her. I hexed that girl back, but Lily was upset about it. I think...I think it's because even if she doesn't want to be friends with them anymore, she still wants to be on okay terms. She doesn't want to be their nemesis. To not be friends, she's gone and distanced herself, but they don't like that and are mean. But she doesn't want to be mean back and-"

Meeting Lucius's confused face, Severus back tracked and tried impress upon him an idea that was only beginning to dawn on him in a different way to the blond. "Narcissa is sort of like Lily; she likes you, but she's not going to be with you if you're going to be friends with that other person. What you got to do is draw a line and decide who matters more. If it's Narcissa, you just tell your friend nicely you can't be in his circle and if he gets mean, don't be mean back because-because-"

The boy shrugged. "That's the part I don't really get, actually. If they're going to be mean, I don't understand why she doesn't give as good as she gets. I don't think they plan to stop being arses anytime soon."

"That's what people call being the better man," Lucius explained. "If you're the better man, you end up looking like the good one to everyone else. If it's just them being petty, they look like the dolts - not you. In fact, others might even defend you then. After all, you're so  _nice_ not to retaliate."

Shaking his head, Severus grumbled, "I don't get it. Wouldn't you rather be even over taking the abuse?"

"It depends on the person, I guess," The elder mumbled. "Getting even is all well in good, but then there's a saying for that sort of thing 'an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind'. Where does it stop? Where do you draw the line? By not being vengeful, there's usually an end. Either the other gives up or someone steps in and ends it for you."

Pondering that for a while, the Ravenclaw commented. "I don't think that's going to help you much with Narcissa."

"No," Lucius agreed. "But you are right about one thing - I have to decide who's more important. The man who's been like a father to me or the girl that I someday want to marry." Turning his head, he asked Severus very seriously, "If you had to pick, what would you choose? Love or-"

"Love," Severus broke in without hesitation. Thinking of Lily, he said, "When you have someone you love that much, you should never give them up; that's because you might not find that love again and people only have one soulmate."

Giving him a little shove, Lucius teased, "Who knew you were such a romantic?"

"Belt up!" Severus said, but he wasn't really angry. It seemed that Lucius might have actually figured something out with the younger's help if his teasing was anything to go by. For Narcissa's sake, he hoped the elder picked love.


	54. Double-Cross the Heart

It wasn't hard to find Narcissa at breakfast the next day, though, Lucius did find it difficult to convince her to come with him.

"Please Narcissa," he asked, "I've made up my mind and I just want to talk."

Narcissa twirled her fork on her plate and gazed up at him with grave eyes. "If you've made up your mind, why can't you just tell me now?"

Lucius said nothing. Instead, the teenager thinned his lips until they were without color and gave the blonde a long look of distaste. Sighing, Narcissa dropped her fork and stood up.

"Okay," she grumbled. "We can go to out to the corridor,  _but_ I will go no further with you unless I have a straight answer!"

Lucius's features smoothed into something calmer, maybe even a tad gleeful with his win. Weaving their way out through incoming students, Lucius couldn't resist grabbing Narcissa's slim fingers as they passed the Great Hall's threshold.

The girl attempted to steal them back, but the boy didn't let her as he spun her around and brought them close to one of Hogwart's many walls so they could avoid curious eyes and ears.

"I made up my mind," he started, fingers squeezing Narcissa's, "I want  _you,_ Narcissa, I love you and can't picture not being without you."

Mouth falling open, Narcissa couldn't stop the way her eyes misted over. "Lucius!" She cried. "Oh love..." she mumbled into his neck; her arms having come to wrap around him.

Clutching her with the same intensity, Lucius murmured, "I'm sorry it took me so long to choose."

"It's alright, I'm just so  _happy_ that you didn't pick-" she stopped. Laughing once, Narcissa wiped the tears in her eyes away and thanked Lucius. "I'm so grateful Lucius, to have you, I don't know what I'd have done if you told me you chose Mr. Riddle. So, thank you."

Lips flickering in a smile that didn't seem quite... _sincere,_ Lucius bent down and pressed a quick kiss to the corner of her mouth. "To celebrate, will you go on a date with me to Hogsmeade?"

Grinning, Narcissa bobbed her head. "Of course! It would be a pleasure!"

"Great," Lucius smirked.

Prompting her sweetheart with a tug at his fingers, Narcissa said, "Let us go have breakfast."

He nodded in response and together, a couple once more, the two walked to the Slytherin house table to eat.

* * *

"C'mon Severus! You look nicer when you have your hair pulled back!" Lily insisted as she attempted to get her friend to cooperate with her all the while waving a dark hair ribbon in the air for the boy to see.

Jaw set in a stubborn set, Severus took a step back from Lily. "I'm not letting you put my hair up! I'll look like a  _girl_!"

"Lucius doesn't look like a girl when he ties his hair back," the girl argued as she swiftly took a step forward and got around behind him.

Groaning as the redhead tugged his hair back and tied it up, Severus complained, "That's because he's a  _Malfoy_ and they never look ridiculous!"

"Well, as a Snape, neither do you," Lily muttered as she straightened out the bow and came around to smile at her handiwork. "You look nice, you really have such dashing features! Hiding them like you do just makes you look sulky," she told the boy.

Raising an eyebrow, Severus declared, "You've been spending too much time with your older friends! You only talk about people like that when you spend too much time with them."

"Oh stop! You know why I've been with them all week instead of you or the Ravenclaw girls."

Face souring very quickly, the boy scuffed at the floor and grumbled beneath his breath, "The  _operation._ "

Pleased by how he remembered, Lily gave an excited clap of her hands. "You  _were_ paying attention! Now, do you remember why Frank's coming along?"

"Of  _course_  I do! You've only told me thirty times, Lily," Severus sneered in ill humor. "I'm supposed to be utterly juvenile and not like the idea of hanging out with all girls because it's so  _gross."_

Laughing, the redhead threw her arms around the boy. "You really are a wicked friend!"

"I don't even want to do this!" Severus complained.

Shushing him suddenly with a hand, Lily hissed, "Here they come!" Scurrying forward, she waved at a duo and called, "Alice! Frank! Here we are!"

Walking over, the older boy gives them both a smile. "It's too bad you two are a little young for Hogsmeade, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is," Lily agreed empathetically. "But we can still have a nice time playing exploding snaps under one of the trees!"

"Right you are, Lily!" Alice agreed with a jovial lilt to her voice. "It's only better that you two have agreed to bet money on the winners and losers!"

Severus frowned at them. "When did we agree to that-"

"Sh!" The redhead shushed as she grabbed Severus's hand to lead the group out of Hogwarts and onto it's green grounds. "You're right Alice, money will make it doubly exciting!"

Leaning in close as they traipsed across the landscape, Severus demanded, "How long are we keeping up this charade?"

"Thirty minutes? An Hour?" Lily offered breezily. "Oh! Oh look that's a lovely spot, don't you agree?" She asked pointing to a tree set on a slow incline.

Frank gave her an appraising smile. "That is a delightful spot, don't you agree, Alice?"

The girl flushed. "Ah, erm, it is!"

Sighing with defeat, Severus crossed his arms and muttered, "Sirius better not catch wind of this!"

"What's wrong with Sirius knowing?" Lily inquired as she leaned in close as to keep Alice and Frank oblivious of their talk.

Fighting the urge to blush, the boy admitted, "He might say we're on some sort of double date."

Lily covered her mouth as she swallowed back of giggles. "Oh Sev!" She exclaimed, throwing her arms around her friend to hug him. "You are just too adorable," she told the other.

"It doesn't matter what Sirius says! He's such a thick boy. You, though, you're so nice to help Alice and Frank. Me and the girls have been setting this up for  _months_! We could all see they were smitten and hopefully after today they'll be the cute couple we've been imagining they'd be!" Green eyes large and admiring, she murmured, "So, thank you in advance."

Still not quite appeased, but much happier to have Lily staring at him so kindly, Severus relented. "Oh, alright. But just  _one_ round of snaps before we find a reason to leave, okay?"

"Okay!" Lily agreed happily.

* * *

"I win!" Frank shouted victoriously gathering his money into a pile by his side.

Using some stray cards as a fan, Alice, her face a sweet pink, flashed a grin. "Rematch?" She suggested.

Smiling back, Frank shrugged his shoulders. "Why not? Are we laying down more money?"

"Actually!" Lily broke in as she stood up, dragging Severus along. "I need to use the loo. How about you two start a new game and Severus and I will come and watch you finish it when we get back?"

Giving them a confused once-over, Alice inquired, "Why are you taking Severus?"

"I kind of have to go to..." Severus mumbled as he looked down to his feet.

Frank nodded. "That sounds fine by me," sending a curious look Alice's way, he questioned, "Alice?"

"I'm happy if everyone else is," she answered.

Hopping from foot to foot, Lily gave Severus's arm a tug and declared, "Then were off! Bye for now!"

"Bye Lily, Severus," Frank called distractedly as he split the cards between he and Alice.

The older girl gave them a short parting wave before she leaned in close to Frank, obviously asking him some question if the way the boy stopped in his parting the cards was anything to go by.

Hooking their arms together once they're a safe distance away, Lily said, "I think they'll have a fine time!"

"I'm sure they will too," Severus replied. "What are we going to do now?"

Humming, the redhead remarked, "It's a lovely day, I don't think I want to go back in the school just yet."

Nodding his agreement, the boy suggested. "Why not go skip stone on the lake for a while? If we get bored we can take our shoes and socks off and wade in the water."

"Think it's warm enough for that, do you?" Lily teased.

Feeling the need to defend himself, Severus grumbled, "It  _is_ almost June. The water shouldn't be too frigid."

"I'm just teasing, Sev," Lily chuckled. "I think that's a lovely way to spend the afternoon!"

Huffing a little, the boy considered being a bit annoyed with her, but then Lily kissed his cheek and thanked him, "You were wonderful today, I want you to know. I couldn't have pulled that off without your help."

Wishing his hair wasn't tied up as his face took on a shocking red hue, Severus separated from Lily and shouted, "Last one to the lake has to jump in!"

"You're on!" Lily yelled and toe to toe, the two raced for the lake; giggling and smiling all the while.

Their afternoon would be blissful and well-spent in each other's company; it would be a day the two could look back on fondly for years to come.

* * *

Turning the letter over in his hands, Lucius sighed. He'd  _told_ Narcissa he was done with Uncle Riddle, but...

_Dear Lucius,_

_I hope your school year is coming to a successful close and that you are doing well in both your academic and social life. I've been meaning to write you for sometime, but have been too busy to until now. Before your father's death, we had been discussing what he had in mind for your future. I thought it might help you if we could meet and discuss what your father wished for you and then what you would like for yourself. Maybe I could be of assistance in finding you a happy middle. How would tea the day after you come home for the summer work for you, Lucius?_

_From,_

_Tom Riddle_

His uncle Riddle didn't seem as awful as Narcissa painted him. How could he turn such a good man away? Lucius just couldn't do it. Not when his uncle was promising to help him with his future. His future, among other things, was one of the things Lucius held in the highest regards. A successful one was what he wanted and a keen man like Riddle would be of great help.

Biting at his lip, Lucius began to pen a letter.

_Dear Uncle Riddle..._


	55. Picked by One

Watching his little brother from where he was in the library, he couldn't help but notice the downward slope of Regulus's shoulders; he couldn't stop himself from seeing how his brother's left eye failed to squint with pleasure whenever he smiled at something his friend said. Bumping shoulders with Severus as he busily wrote up his Charms paper, he hissed, "Does something look the matter with Regulus to you?"

A caustic eye met his gaze and then went to the young Ravenclaws several tables away. "He looks the same as always to me," Severus replied.

Sirius opened his mouth to prod further, but Severus closed his books and got up. At Sirius's open-mouthed expression, he shrugged and said to him, "I know you, Sirius, I  _need_ to do well on my last Charms paper and I won't if I stay here and let you pester me about your brother."

"But-!"

Already swinging his satchel over his shoulder, Severus turned his back on the Gryffindor and remarked, "Maybe you should talk to your brother, if you think he's behaving oddly."

"I can't!" Sirius cried.

Snorting, Severus said, "Then, I guess you have a problem."

And with that, he walked away.

Glum, Sirius shifted his attention back to Regulus. His brother glanced his way and gave him a dip of his head in acknowledgement. Sirius gave a half-hearted wave and felt a body slip into the chair Severus had occupied only a minute or so before.

Looking, he smiled at the sight of his fellow Gryffindor. "Hey, Remus," he greeted.

Munching on a chocolate bar, the fair-haired boy grinned back and finished his treat before asking, "Where's Severus? I thought he was going to study with us this afternoon."

"I might have scared him off," Sirius sighed.

Raising an eyebrow, the other started taking out his homework and asked, "How'd you do that?"

"He had a paper due and I was asking about my brother," Sirius admitted.

Humming, Remus dipped his quill in some ink and opened his book to a pre-marked page. Taking out a piece of parchment from the book, he studied it before putting the quill to the parchment. "I think he's done with people-talk for the school year, Sirius. Didn't you hear him yesterday in the room? Lily made him help her in setting up Frank Longbottom and Alice Mckinnon."

Sheepish now, Sirius gave a chortle and looked to his wrists. "Erm, I might have been busy figuring out which record to put on to play for us when he was talking to us..."

The fair-haired boy snickered and said with a musing tone, "You know, the two of you are quite similar. You'll quite happily ignore someone in the favor of your own pursuits."

Defensive, Remus's dark-haired counterpart muttered, "'Nothing wrong with want to listen to some good tunes..."

"Of course not!" Remus laughed. "And thankfully for you, I just need to finish up quoting the book and you can tell me all about your brother."

"Really?" Sirius questioned hopefully.

Nodding his head, the other Gryffindor muttered, "Though, why you're so concerned about him when a good third of Gryffindor has been sending us nasty glares for the past two weeks is beyond me..."

Having been paying little attention, Sirius blinked at his friend and grunted a noncommittal "hmph" in reply.

Shaking his head, Remus finished his paper with a flourish and pushed it aside to dry and brought his hands together as he turned his full attention to the dark-haired boy. "Now, what can I do to help you?" Remus asked with sarcasm lacing his words.

"Does Regulus look odd to you? Maybe sad or something?" Sirius inquired, completely missing the inflection of the other's words.

Sighing, Remus knew exactly why Severus had run from this mess. Regulus and Sirius needed an actual quack, not a schoolboy to help with their deficiencies. Toying with the feather of his quill, the boy drawled, "I can't say, maybe you should ask if he's sad."

"I can't do that!" Sirius wailed.

Slapping his hand over his friend's mouth, Remus growled, "Don't yell! I can't think of how many times you have to be reminded of this, but  _don't yell in the library_! Lily had to get Professor McGonagall involved the last time you got kicked out, remember? And why was that, Sirius? Because you were banned until your  _fifth_ year and if that wasn't bad enough, you had dragged Severus right along with you!"

Glaring nastily over Remus's hand, the dark-haired Gryffindor pried his hand away - finger by finger. "Okay," he hissed, "Then why don't we go talk outside?"

"Actually," he started as he gathered up his things, "I remembered I promised to tutor a Hufflepuff girl, so, um, I'll see you later!" And quickly he shoved everything back into his satchel and began to hurry away from his friend.

"Liar!" Sirius called after Remus's retreating back.

The librarian descended on Sirius.

"Oh, hi," he croaked as beady eyes glared down on him.

* * *

Drifting down one of Hogwarts many long corridors, Remus felt rather than saw or heard some people begin to trail him from behind. Continuing at his even pace, he planned to take a shortcut toward of the busier pathways when he saw an upper year coming toward him. Hurrying forward, he hoped they were not in league with whoever was tailing him.

Twisting himself around to stand beside this much taller student, he was panting when he saw Dan Boot and Lily's roommates, Sabrina and Mary. Gaping at them, he demanded, "What the in merlin's name are you three doing?!"

The girls wore sulky expressions and only Dan dared to cross his arms and take another step forward. "Watching where you're going! We've heard you've been helping  _Slytherins_ with their DADA homework when you ought to know very well the three of us are struggling with it just the same!"

Bewildered, Remus glanced up to the older year beside him. The girl, for her part, shrugged at him and said, "Well, if that's what you're doing, I'd say you lot are doing a terrible job of trailing him. He obviously knew what was up and I could tell he was going to confront you the moment he looked at me."

"It's not like we follow people everyday!" Sabrina complained.

Feeling a mite bitter, Remus grumbled, "No, you hide people's things."

The girl's face burned hotly as the older year next to Remus laughed. "Boys and girls," she chided, "You obviously have some issues to work out - but I assure you that it won't be solved by cornering this poor sod and hexing the snot out of him."

Placing a slim hand on the younger's shoulder, the girl shooed away Remus's would-be attackers. "Scram you brats, if you try this again, I'll get my boyfriend to dock you points - he's a prefect. Maybe you've heard of him? Jared Westrup?"

The trio's eyes went wide with shock and they all scattered quite quick.

Grinning down on him, the upper year, who Remus realized was actually quite pretty with her long blond hair, said, "Ah, that worked a Charm, didn't it? Sometimes it's fun knowing my boyfriend strikes fear in younger years' foolhardy hearts."

"Thanks," Remus said empathetically. "They've been causing me and my friends trouble for a good long time now; maybe they'll think before trying something like this again."

Shaking off his gratitude, the girl commented, "Don't worry about it, us upper years are actually getting quite tired of your guys quarreling all the time. It doesn't look good for house unity, I'll have you know."

"I understand," the fair-haired boy replied as the upper year began to walk with him. "I'm actually quite sorry things are as they are now...I suppose you can't really blame any one person though, we all played our parts."

The girl bobbed her head and told Remus, "Actually, the prefects have been talking - they want this fixed. It's no good for firsties to becoming into a house that's in the middle of a civil war. They don't learn loyalty like they ought to, then. Do you think, Remus, that you can fix this? If not for yourself - for all the kids coming into Gryffindor after you?"

"I can't fix this alone!" The younger argued.

Grabbing him, the upper year spun him and made him meet her wide-set eyes. "You better try and get your friends to help you, then, because we're becoming increasingly annoyed with being the laughing stock of Hogwarts. Do you realize we are this close to being dead-last for the cup? If you prats keep fighting like you are, we're never going to see another win!"

Remus had never really cared for winning, for being the best or anything like that. For most of his life, he'd been more concerned with staying alive and hiding his terrible secret; but now he was beginning to see for people who didn't have things to hide, they wanted more. They want to be  _on top_.

"You're boyfriend's really not the scary one, is he?" Remus choked out as she felt the girl's grip tighten and tighten.

Her face lit up and she let him go, "No, he's just doing my dirty work. I might not have the grades or likability to be a prefect by professor's standards, but the upper years in Gryffindor know better. Hell, you kids would too if you weren't so busy duking it out with one another."

Legs quivering, Remus told her, "I'll keep that in mind. What's your name, by the way? I don't think I ever caught it."

"It really, is awful, the state of our house; I'm Effie Apostle and  _I'm_ in charge of things," she explained.

Nodding, the boy said, "Alright then, Effie, I'll see about smoothing things out with us lower years."

"Excellent!" And with a short wave, she said, "We'll be in touch, Remy."

Watching her walk away, Remus wondered what he was going to do and how he was going to convince Sirius and James to put out the fire - and that didn't even bring in the mess of figuring out the tangled mess that was the girls' in-fighting.

Remus hoped, though, with the year almost over, he'd have all summer to think of something...

(He had to wonder, what would happen if he failed?)


	56. Hold On, We'll Get There

Regulus hadn't meant to spend so much time talking with Professor Slughorn after class. But, the portly man had been very  _insistent_  that Regulus tell him how his mother, father, uncle, and Bellatrix were doing before inviting him to the end of the year Slug Club party. Why he wanted him to come was beyond Regulus, he was mediocre when it came to Potions - even with Severus's help.

Regulus was about average in everything. He wasn't wicked smart like Severus, quick like Quirinus or even especially motivated compared to other Ravenclaws who didn't ooze natural smarts. Regulus was just... _normal_.

Brooding on this, he hardly paid his surroundings any mind as he floated through the rather barren dungeon corridors. It was as he sped down his normal path that he was mowed over by two larger bodies.

"Ah!" He screeched in shock.

One person stayed on top of him and the other started pulling at his satchel. Bucking, Regulus yelled, "Get off me! What in merlin's name are you doing?!"

The body on top of him ignored Regulus in favor of helping his accomplice in rooting through his bag. The boy didn't know what they could be looking for, he didn't have anything besides his potions books, notes and a letter to his cousin Bellatrix. She'd written him to see how Ravenclaw's first years were doing, if Sirius was making a shame of himself, how 'cissa was doing in courting Lucius and to ask if he'd like to come with her and her new husband on a trip to France over the summer.

But none of that was really all that interesting or important to anyone besides himself.

He attempted to twist his head to see who it was pinning him, but the hand that had been resting on top of his skull pressed down hard when they realized what he was doing. Hissing, Regulus yelled loudly, "Help! Help!"

Another hand slapped itself over his mouth and Regulus began to wonder what they'd do when they finished. They wouldn't….they couldn't kill him, could they? No, of course not, but…

The boy began to thrash and kick. More fearful of what was to come than what was occurring at the moment.

Suddenly, the person atop him was knocked ajar and he finally knew who'd tackled him thanks to the cry of his rescuer.

"What the bloody hell, Potter!"

Potter. Sitting up, he saw a stricken looking Pettigrew watching as his friend rolled around on the ground with Severus. How these two always seemed to find each other, Regulus just didn't know. Maybe Snape'd put a tracking spell on Potter?

Anything seemed possible to Regulus as he watched them grapple on the floor together.

"Bugger," James snarled, "Off!" As he tossed Severus away from himself with some considerable effort.

Tumbling away, Severus managed to catch himself and getting in a crouch, he leapt back on James with a shout of, "No!"

Turning to the quivering Pettigrew, Regulus snatched his letter out of the Gryffindor's paws and snapped, "That's mine!" And proceeded to clean up the rest of his things as the two other boys continued to jab and kick one another.

Once done with his own task, the boy looked to Pettigrew and said, "You might want to get a professor to stop them. I have to be getting to my Flying class in-" he checked his watched and scowled. "Now," he sighed.

Eye big and bugging, the chubby Gryffindor whined, "But I can't get one! That would only make James mad at  _me_!"

"Fine!" Regulus snapped, heading back to Slughorn's class. "I'll tell Professor Slughorn his precious prodigy and Potter are brawling in the hall and it's made me late for flying! I'm sure he'll come running!"

However, by some divine intervention, Regulus only walked a few steps before he saw the man coming his way. Flagging the rotund man down, the boy shouted, "Sir! Sir! We need your help over here!"

Looking at Regulus with curious eyes, Slughorn approached only for his face to take on a comical look of horror as he used his wand to separate Potter and Severus. "Boys!" He yelled, "What in merlin's name do you think you're doing?!"

"He attacked me!" James roared in pure anger.

Sending the other the nastiest glare Regulus was sure he'd ever seen, Severus spat, "I only shoved you off Regulus,  _you're_ the one who turned it into a real fight!"

A tide of red rising up on Slughorn's neck, the man hissed, "I give little care to who started it. I'm ashamed of you both! Twenty points from both Gryffindor and Ravenclaw! I expect you both to report to your Heads of Houses this evening for detention as I cannot host it myself today." Waving his hand in dismissal, Slughorn stood to watch Severus and Potter scatter for wherever they were supposed to be.

Turning to him, Slughorn asked, "Do you need anything else, Mister Black?"

"A late pass?" Regulus inquired hopefully. "When they were fighting, I couldn't get past and now I'm late for Flying."

* * *

Unhappily, after dinner, Severus dragged himself away from his group of fellow Ravenclaws as they started back for their common room.

"Where are you going, Severus?" Charity questioned with an anxious dip between her brows.

Looking away from the girl, he answered, "I have to see Flitwick."

He did his best ignore the murmur that rose up from his peers and only addressed Mark when he snapped in pure exasperation, "Do you have detention  _again_!?"

"Yes," he replied with a sneer. "And I lost us twenty-five points today. Twenty for fighting Potter and another five for being too loud in the library. Is there anything else you need to know?"

Mark, Charity and the last member of their group, Marlene shared a look and with several quick gesture appointed their spokesman (or woman, rather,) Charity said, "We worry about you, you know? You end up in detention an awful lot."

Scoffing, Severus declared darkly, "You haven't seen anything yet." And with no further interest in his fellow Ravenclaws, bade them goodbye with a silent showing of his back as he went off to Flitwick's office.

Twisting her head around to look at her two friends, Charity brought a knuckle to gnaw on to her mouth and asked, "What do you think he means by that? We only have two weeks of school left!"

Flipping a blond lock, Marlene offered in jest, "Maybe he's planning on getting summer detention so he can stay here the whole time and make  _potions_."

"You know what?" Mark murmured, the girls said nothing, but waited with patient interest for the boy to finish. "I think somebody should try and tail him the rest of the school year and make sure he doesn't make a mess of things. Do you guys realize if we figure out something particularly clever to do, we could actually  _win_ the House Cup? That is, if Severus doesn't lose us anymore points. We're only sixty off from beating Hufflepuff, after all."

Charity's brown eyes brighten with fret, "Oh-oh, we couldn't! He'd be terribly upset with us..."

"Who cares if he's upset about it! He never cares if we're upset about him losing us points!" Mark argued hotly.

Marlene coolly stepped between the hot-headed boy and simpering girl and smiled. "Who's to say he has to know we're tailing him, Charity? And Mark, why  _should_ he care? He's better friends with Gryffindors than he's with us. I don't think he's ever developed an appreciation for the houses like we have."

"It's that Evans girl's fault - Black's too," Mark grumbled.

Charity, who actually quite liked Lily, stamped her foot and wagged a finger in the boy's face. "I  _like_ Lily!"

"So do I, actually," Marlene mused. "And on top of that,  _Mark_ , I wouldn't try to blame her for anything ever because she and Severus both live with her parents. If you say something like that and hurt their relationship, it's going to be up to  _you_ to find him a new family to live with," she told him quite smartly.

Ears a bright pink, the boy looked away and made the girls grin. Patting his back, Charity told him kindly, "You know, Mark, I think you're plan about having somebody keep an eye on him isn't such a bad idea anymore..."

This made him perk up and looking out through his fringe, he asked with some hesitancy, "Really?"

"Yeah, really," Marlene grinned back. "Let's get the others and talk about it as a group," she declared, taking lead.

Smiling, Mark came around as they all headed off with their mission in mind.

* * *

Trudging through Flitwick's door, the small man only glanced at him before mutely pointing to a corner where a table with a Dictionary and parchment rested. Scowling, Severus went. Sitting down, he flipped it over onto its front and thumbed through to somewhere toward the end of W. He didn't actually care so much where he left off so much as he cared about finishing the book altogether at this point.

Flitwick had joked last time after he completed the English Dictionary he'd start him on the Latin one he had. Severus, actually,  _wanted_ to take a look at that one. It would be highly useful in building spells and understanding how to manipulate and change ones that existed to fit his needs. Not like...well, who cared what the definition of worthless was?

Severus knew that one already.

It was about halfway through his session that Flitwick's voice broke the silence, "What did you do this time Mister Snape?"

Pausing in his work, Severus asked, "Do you actually care?"

"Are you being smart?" The professor demanded with some true irritation.

Shifting around in his seat, the boy sneered and told the man, "Why, on earth, would I do that? Do you think I  _like_ coming here every few days to write out words and definitions from an English Dictionary?"

Smirking, the little man piped, "I have been wondering, seeing as your frequency must imply  _something_."

"Yeah, it implies Potter's an arse," Severus grumbled as he was unwilling to play along and use his head of house's good mood to his advantage.

The humor fell away and the professor slumped forward. "Why must you always fight? You seem like a highly intelligent boy, surely you can see the benefit in bowing out."

Crossing his arms, Severus could not hide his disgust. "Bow out? Why in merlin's name would I let him think I am  _scared_? Sir, I don't know if you've forgotten or if you've never known this, but if you turn away from a fight, people will call you weak and worthless and every other name in the book to imply how much more beneath them you are! I will not stand to be called a worthless weakling who deserves no better than to be under someone's boot! I will  _not_!"

"I-" but Flitwick closed his mouth and shook his head. "You are so  _young_ ," he murmured more to himself than Severus.

This vexed the boy and he demanded, "What's that supposed to mean!?"

"Severus, you may leave if you wish. Just-" he paused and seemed to be thinking of something say, "Just come see me next fall and tell me another option you could pick besides fighting back when someone confronts you and wants to get physical."

This confused the boy a great deal, but he agreed - anything was better than spending the next two hours here writing out words and definitions. "Yes, professor," and with that, he left for his dorm.

Pondering the spot that Severus just occupied, Flitwick wondered what the boy would tell him next fall. He didn't think turning the other cheek would be his answer given how disgusted he'd been by the idea when he brought it up.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading and let me know what you think with a kudo/comment!


End file.
